This is just horrible and so hard to deal with. What's really difficult is that I'm just short of getting what I need to proceed. It does help to know that I'm not the only one who has dealt with such a lenghty discovery process and I thank you for sharing that with me.

There is good news though. He did not change his password on his laptop or email and there was a weird email that makes me think one of the Dirtbag Friends was messing with him on Facebook. Now I just need to get back on his laptop to configure the email function. And I will also get the Facebook password too.

If he discovers or suspects anything, I will do what he does...deny, deny, deny!

I've been out all day and was so glad to get to this last post and see that he hasn't changed his laptop password! Whew! I have a feeling you are REALLY close Anne...just be cool for a while longer.

Thanks SmilingWoman. It's always so nice to hear from you. I was soooo relieved when I was able to get into his email which means I can set up the keylogger email function as soon as I can (it can still be hard to get access to his laptop but I should be able to do it). He did catch me looking through his phone last night. It's not a huge deal since I didn't get much from that anyone (he probably knew I looked at it since he would delete stuff anyway).

The past few weeks have been very difficult. I hope you're right and that I'm close. We have a vacation coming up (which is going to be really hard to get through). My guess is that a "date" with ButterFace will be coming up after we get back. He had lunch with her a few weeks ago but hasn't had a night out with her in awhile so they are due. I know I keep saying that but they are!

Anything new Anne?

Thanks for checking SmilingWoman. Not much is new here. WH is on another deadline at work and we are preparing for a family vacation so he has been pretty busy. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the trip.

Some developments in Dirtbag's situation though. His married girlfriend is trying to get him to leave his wife. WH is advising him to cut all ties with the OW. He seems to know exactly how to cheat and not have it ruin his life. Or so he thinks!

WH caught me looking through his phone the other night so he's been keeping a close eye on it. I didn't get much from it anyway so all his behavior does is confirm that he is doing a lot of things he doesn't want me to know about. He's still careful about email but speaks freely with Dirtbag in the car. Too bad Dirtbag is very selfish and only wants to talk about himself. It doesn't look like I'm going to get much until he sets up his next "date" with ButterFace. I think that will happen shortly after our trip. My guess is that he will take her out to celebrate her new job and "thank" her for the business she got him at her old job.

I know I've said this before but what is wrong with a 39-year-old single woman who occassionally sleeps with a married father of 2(soon to be 3) and thinks that's okay?!? Don't get me wrong, I am not placing all the blame on her. I just don't get how low her self-esteem must be to think this situation is acceptable.

Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate you checking in on me. I only wish I had more to report.

I know what you mean about the OW. In my case, she was a 24 year old married woman...with one child of her own and 2 young step-sons. Only married 1 1/2 years...Her now Xhusband makes nearly as much as my near XH but he is only 30. So what does this OW see in a 45 year old married man with a (then) 9 year old son? I'll never understand it.

What did you WH say when he caught you looking through his phone?

ButterFace is 39, has no kids and has never been married. WH is convinced she doesn't want to get married or have kids. I think he should be careful about making assumptions but he thinks he knows (he told Dirtbag all of this which is how I know).

He did not say anything about me looking at his phone but I know he knew what I was doing. I was looking at it in the kitchen in the dark. When I went upstairs, he was standing on the stairs and acted kind of nervous. I'm sure he saw the glow of his phone from me looking at it and now he keeps the phone at his hip.

It doesn't surprise me that he didn't say anything to me. He's an ostrich and would rather stick his head in the sand than deal with any confrontation. Sometimes I wonder if he is trying to get caught so that I will confront him and maybe even leave him so that he doesn't have to be the bad guy. I just don't know anymore. It seems like anything is possible with him.

The keylogger is in place and the email function is officially working! Nothing of value yet but whatever I do get from it will be information I didn't have before. Thanks so much for all the advice and support.

YA!!! Finally we are moving! Glad that it is working

Can't wait to hear the look on your WH face when you have the solid PROOF!

I don't know how much information I will get (since he's careful about email and it is his work computer) but at least I got the Facebook password he changed earlier this week. That alone makes it worth it. Like I said, anything I get from it - no matter how small - is something I don't have now!

For those of you who have used keyloggers, did you set up the email report to send you screen shots? I have not done that since the screen shots take up a lot of space and I wouldn't get to see them all anyway. I am considering having the reports emailed to me more often (such as every 30 minutes instead of every hour) so I would be able to see at least some or even most of the screenshots. Thoughts?

Not sure why you would need screen shots..the KL I used listed every website visted so I could just click on it if I wanted to go to it. The chats and emails were logged in just as they were typed....

I wonder if the screen shots could be useful in the instance where WH is, say, responding to an email from Dirtbag Friend. While WH may be very cautious w/ what he says, DB may be much more loose. So the keylogger wouldn't get you much by WH's keystrokes, but a screen shot could include an incriminating email from DB.

I haven't used a keylogger, and am not sure exactly how/what they take for screenshots, but just something that could maybe get you some more info.

She already has access to his emails....but even if she loses that access, the KL should (mind did) capture every email and sedd it to her email as an attachment.

Oh, yeah. Right. Email access. Forgot about that one.



But: very cool to know it will send emails to you!

Anne,....I need an update. Are you on vacation?

I was thinking the same thing!

Anne we are dying to know if the key logger works!!

Same here, Anne. What's up?

hhmm...very curious why Anne hasn't been on, must be something big

She mentioned getting ready for vacation....maybe it was for this week.

YOUR RIGHT!