My wife and I separated 3 months ago. She told me that she wasn't in love with me anymore. We had our issues but nothing to really worry about. We had just bought a new house and have a 2 year old daughter. We are both in our thirties. I discovered that my wife had slept with someone 2 weeks after I had left. She says that it was a one night stand and was a mistake. After pressure from myself and her family, she said that she would stop seeing him. Unfortunatley, I know different. They are still in contact via facebook and text and he is under the impression that they are an item!! My wife this week said she would like to go to therapy with me as she can't decide if she wants to save our marriage or not. She looked at old photos of us and realised that we were happy and doesn't want our child to have separated parents. Therapy begins this week and the therapist managed to pursuade her in the past to save our marriage. I think she was cheating then but I was unaware and we were still living together. How should I approach this? I don't want to blow the therapy but I just know that this other guy is the main problem for her not"finding the time" to work on our marriage. She is always akward around me and only brightens up when we are playing with our daughter. I don't want therapy to be a waste of time and money but surely she must have come idea? How can someone be so confused?

Hello spark and welcome to MB. This is a safe place for people who have been affected by adultery.

HERE is a thread which will help you around this site. You should read it from beginning to end. You don't know what you are going to need to learn so you may as well learn it ALL.

Now, about your WW wanting to save your marriage or not? The REAL decision gets to be made by YOU. This will become more clear as you read through this site.

If you ahve any questions about anything you read, feel free to ask.

Sorry you are here and welcome.

Marriage counseling is a waste of time and money as long as she is in the affair.

Study up on Plan A, start working it, and get her to end the affair. Have you exposed to everyone who might have an influence on her? Have you exposed to the OM's family/friends? You'll need to do that. It will make her very angry, but she'll get over it.