WW,
Since you know about this site now, I hope that you read my thread and see my love for our family. All those crazy things that I did were not to look good, or to be the good one in this whole mess. I did all those crazy things because I value you and I still want to recover our marriage. Not for me, not for you or our beautiful son, but for ALL of us. I know that if we apply and live the Marriage Builder principals that we will have a wonderful healthy marriage, there is absolutely no doubt. There is nothing that we can't overcome together.

I invite you start your own thread so you can tell your side of the story. It's been pretty one sided so far. This forum is a great place to get advice and direction, whether you want recovery or divorce.

NW,

That's why you don't want to clue in OMGF to this site because eventually they'll blow your cover.

NW's WW,

You are a true narcissist and a disgusting human being. NW will be better off without you. He won't have to worry about you blowing everybody at work anymore. I know you have used sex to get your needs met up to this point, but that well is about to dry up pretty soon and then you'll be left growing old alone. Good riddance to you. You've abused NW enough.

NW,

How does she know about this site? How does she know about the forum? How does she know you're NW?

Here's legal advice: Don't take any ownership for anything posted on here.

It's all heresay legally. Unless an IP address can be linked directly to you along with admin logs, it is nothing more than heresay.

Not only that, but any reproductions of the postings on this site can be altered, so any printed out copies of this website presented to you could be changed in some way, which allows you to honestly neither confirm or deny that these alleged postings are actually yours.

It would end up costing your WW tons of money to pursue an avenue which really doesn't matter to a judge anyways. For one thing, none of our postings are admissable since they are heresay.

I openly mocked my ex's attorney on this site when I was going through my stuff. I advise you not to do that, but none of it mattered. MB falls into the category of "background noise" that judges are very skilled at sifting through.

They really don't care about what you post online. Unless you're a danger to your kid, they really and truly don't care.

I'd still be careful on what I'd post, however, since your ex will use this site to spy on you and what is happening in your life and if you're in a Plan B, then you won't be dark to her.

I know that someone has told WW about some of my snooping methods and maybe SOME of my evidence. I know that OM knows about some other evidence. Two differant people knowing two differant pieces of evidence that I did not share w/anyone that wasn't supportive of saving the two relationships involved.

Someone that supports adultery and child neglect found my thread and shared it with the two adulterers.

Funny thing is that I didn't share all of my evidence on this forum.

Truth is, I am not ashamed of anything that I have posted on this thread. I have had a rant from time to time, and I have waffled back and forth on what I want, what is best and my motivations. I would like everyone to read my posts that is interested. It is the truth..

NW,

NW,
When we last spoke, I told you that I suspected something. Remember I asked you if you had shown your WW this site, and you said something of the sort to yes..I have not posted anything since because I did not want either of them to know about this.

NW,
I can assure you that you are in no danger. OM will not hurt you. He has never even been in a fight. He was just angry. Like I told you when I spoke with you that next morning, he must have called you when I was in the shower, because we were home all night...
But not to worry, he isn't a fighter.

You say that someone has told her about your snooping methods.

I'm not sure what to think anymore. I don't want this to consume me and I want to learn to trust again. I can't be this person who doesn't trust, it is driving me to act a way that I do not like.

jmwc95,
you are wrong about me.

NW's WW,
WE have spoken before and you lied to me then. You even made a racist remark to make me think that you were not interested in my guy. Unfortunately for you, I am more connected to people in your place of work than you think. As you know, I have worked with and still have relationships with most of your coworkers. The only thing these people have to say about you is that you are a very loose and sad person. You have given multiple guys at your job oral sex. I'm not sure what you are trying to do but I have decided I won't give up on my guy without a fight. I have contacted all of the women I know at your job and filled them in. The "eldest" woman at your job has suggested I get together with your "old" boss and talk. She claims he will have some very interesting things to tell me about you and some of your coworkers. Good luck in life, you will need it. I won't let you win that easily. I hope NW runs far away from you. You aren't worth the effort he is putting into this. He is a good guy, and deserves a good woman, and you are far from that. However, since you like giving oral sex to random guys, you should look into prostitution as a second job. Instead of you paying these strangers, you could get paid!

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really hope NW sees your messages Confused...

smileygirl,

I hope so too. I'm guessing he was advised to break contact with me too. Honestly, I thought we were on the same team, that we both wanted the same outcome..to have them both end this A. I guess we all have to deal with it in our own way.

I'll give him a call and ask him if he will check his thread.

There were several times during Plan A that I was ready to throw in the towel and show WW everything. The times I had those feelings my mindset was for closure, I had had enough of the lies and I really wanted to confront WW with all my evidence so the lies would stop. I have since been able to deal with that better. I know the truth and that will set me free.

I am fairly certain that either WW family or best friend has clued her into this website. Not a big deal, I don't care. Like I said earlier, I have nothing to hide. I have gotten some stellar legal advice, but that is all it is...advice. My lawyer has the green light from me to do what is best for mine and NW5's interests. He knows what I want, that is what is best for NW5.

As for finding out my snooping and evidence? Good for you my lovely wife. You now know...that I know about your little secrets. And yes, I didn't share everything to this forum. You see, once I found proof, that is all that I felt I needed to share here. The most damning...well...you figure it out.

Knowing what I know now:
What do I want? Well, when I ask myself that question I get a different answer every time. So I know that I can't trust myself to answer honestly.

What is best for NW5? Well, he can answer that himself, and in fact he said something of that today.

NW5: We're going on a boat ride ?!?!...Is mommy coming?!?!?!?!....Owwww, why not?

I ask myself those two questions everyday. I Know why WW left and the truth....I still want my wife to come back home. The bar is set high, and I know that it will be a very difficult healing process. I will not settle for what we had before, I want to learn and grow together. If it's not together...it's WW's loss.

WW has made some pretty deep scars here, who knows how deep they will be for NW5. Right now, I am healing them without her and with a lot of help from others. It sucks pretty bad, but I know it will get better. I also know that the best way for these scars to heal for me and NW5 will be with reconciliation. So until these scars are all healed up, the door is open for reconciliation

I felt pretty vulnerable after OM called. I had NW5 in the house with me and I had no idea what OM was thinking. He got pretty upset when I told him that i was recording the conversation.

Being in the Army and hanging around a bunch of Infanrty guys has taught me a couple things:
1. Why walk when you can ride?
2. Never be the first or the last in ANY line!
3. Guns are a beautiful thing, and things are pretty cool when they go BOOM!!!

Thanks for the insight.

Please understand that it is very difficult for me to talk to you. Every time we talk it is like I go through D-Day all over again. My stomach sinks and I feel sick. I want to help you, but honestly what can I do now? It is a huge trigger for me.

I am glad that you intend to fight for your man. It is a fight that you will win if you decide. I hope that he will leave my family alone. I say hope because there isn't really much more that i can do. I mean, if he really wants to go to court and pay thousands of $$$ for a booty call then god bless. Good Luck with that one.

I don't know why but I just though of that line from Apocalypse Now, you know the one about Napalm.

NW,
I understand what you mean.

Good news..things are gradually getting better and I can tell this will be over soon. We are taking baby steps. He already changed his number and that was a big thing. He says he wants to prove to me anything I say.

He and I are always together now. When he's at work, he calls always. Invites me to come up for lunch daily. When he's off work we are together. Spending all of our nights together now.
He still denies everything about her. He only admits to her chasing him for at least the last 4 years by offering him (and coworkers) oral sex and money. Says he has no feelings for her and is certainly not in love with her.

I dont know why, but I believe him when he says he has no feelings for her. He would never be with her. His family would never accept them together as a couple. It would always have to be a dirty little secret. They would always have to be in hiding. His mother has made it clear that she would never accept her in her home.

What I dont get is why she would file for divorce not knowing what the future may hold, unless she is involved with more than just him. They aren't a couple are not out in the open and he denies her. She has never and will never meet his family, none of his coworkers,and if she has met any of his friends, it is this one guy who his brother grew up with. He is a shady character and would be the only one to accept this as he is a cheater himself. If she sticks with this, they will always have to meet on her turf. Only around her friends, never around anyone that knows him personally or that he deals with on a daily basis.

.

And as for court, he won't pay a dime, I guarantee it. He won't give up his hard earned money for a peice on the side. I bet she will end up being the one to pay the bill!

I wish you luck. You have been a great help to me through all this.

NW,
I wish you would have called me after you spoke with him that night. I would have made sure you knew what was really going on and would have let you known if he would have left.

Of course he was angry. He doesn't want his name mixed up with your WW. He is angry with you because you told his family. His family is now questioning his character and his family is everything to him. He is still trying to rebuild their full trust.

But those were just angry outburst. I would bet money he wouldn't even waste the gas to come way over there, unless she was reimbursing him for it.