It is possible that he was trying to manipulate the sitch. I have spoken to him about it. I don't often listen to what DS9 is saying to Bampot though. I am not monitoring it. I usually only hear what he is saying when he is sitting next to me on the couch or I catch something when he is in another room. While he was talking to Bampot last night, I was making myself something to eat in the kitchen. I only heard that one comment and something about DS7 getting sent to the office again yesterday. Usually, when I overhear them talking, they are just telling them EVERYTHING that happened that day. I am going to talk to DS9 about it and tell him that he isn't responsible for fixing this sitch and that there is nothing he can do.

So, I am going to be watching the news all day today to see if Jupiter blows up.

Don't worry NW, my boundary is WAY up on this one. I DO NOT spend ANY time ALONE with ANY MAN(except my Dad ). When I go to this personal trainer, I am with two other FEMALE friends. Thanx for looking out for me, and for using my words

Sounds like your boundaries are good. Yes you need to be hypervigilent because RA's are NOT uncommon. I know of 2 BW's on here that happened to. You are going to find in Q's story Mimi warning her of this often........

Because we here care......

I hope you don't mind me asking questions about your diet and exercise. Tell me what your diet looks like right now. Have you started weight training?

My diet is the pits still. I am slowly changing that.

Weight training isn't really something that this trainer does. We only use the ball, a mat and 2 2lb weights. The rest of what we do is body conditioning.

My friend has made me introduce spinach into my diet. I really didn't like it before, but apparently I can eat it raw. It has replaced lettuce in my salads and wraps. Other than that, I am quite embarrassed by my diet. I am not willing to discuss it fully here but lemme just say that I do have a friend monitoring it. She kicks my butt when I need it.

As far as my boundaries go, I have always had decent boundaries. The reason I say decent is because there were times when I was alone with men and there were times that I COULD have crossed a line. I don't mean that I ever came close to an affair but I now have learned that there were definitely times when it could have gotten there. It is scary to think like that. I never looked at men as attractive though. It made me uncomfortable when other women would "check" guys out. I just didn't do that. I must admit that lately I have been looking. Never in a horrible way and I never know the people or even intend to meet any of them.

As I have mentioned on my thread before, even in my dreams I would be kissing a guy and I would say, "I can't do this, I am MARRIED." Now, those dreams have changed to me having SF with Bampot and I say, "I can't I am in Plan B." No kidding, I REALLY DO THIS.

I am MORE aware of weak boundaries and even see them in others. I was talking to a teacher at the track meet and I realized he has EXTREMELY WEAK BOUNDARIES. I STAY AWAY.

Just a word of encouragement, Scotty. I think you'll find that, as you continue working out and really feeling your body getting in better shape, you'll want to be more health-conscious all around. You'll start craving healthy food and turn away from junky and/or more processed stuff. You'll be more in tune with your body, and can more easily monitor sleep, nutritional intake, etc.

It's a positive feedback loop. Once you get going, you just keep going!

Of course, I could be wrong. I know I totally have used the "Oh, I worked extra hard today, so I can DEFINITELY go for the candy bar!" line before. Once. Or twice. Or...well, anyway....

I know that I will eventually turn around ALL aspects of my life. I have tried to tell my friend that I have changed SO much about my eating habits in the past year and it has to be a whole LIFESTYLE change. It needs to become permanent and that may take me some time. I will admit that I ate some junky food yesterday, for lunch, a few hours before I went to PT and I felt like I was going to I will NOT be doing that again. That means that at least one day of the week I will not be eating food that is too junky.

I do walk almost 5 kms a day and I do this PT 3 times a week(my friend wants us to move up to 4 soon). I have lost A LOT of weight, although I don't know how much. I do know that I went down 3 sizes in clothes since Bampot left 6 months ago. I even feel the tightening of my arms and abs. I am not as tired walking up hill. I can even run.

I was VERY overweight before. Now I am overweight. It's an improvement and it is being done in a healthy way so it will last.

Being an insulin dependant diabetic for 24 years and having diet issues gave me a lot of information. What Vannilla says is very true.

Whe I was 30 I went all out and eliminated all fat, salt , and sugar from a diet of 2000 Calories a day. Maintained 190 lbs, was lean and mean and worked two jobs.

What was the greatest benifet was that although I was much more focused and relaxed i had great energy. The need to eat a Whopper once to stave off an insulin reaction acually had a noticeable effect 15 mins later. It felt like someone opened my head and poured a quart of oil in my brain. my thinking gat sluggish and i was tired.

We truly are what we eat and it has a strong effect on us,The more sensitive our system and the cleaner it is, the more noticible.

Of course I was eliminating all fats from my diet, eating what Dr Robert Haas who trained olympic atheletes had in his book, "Eat to Win" (1983 bestseller).

That was then, this is now, I am 80 lbs overweight, put on an extra 30 when I became disabled in 06, then another 50 after wife passed on. But I have been working on getting out and starting to use the bike my daughter got me, (can't run anymore unless I can get them to fix my legs).


So here is the news that I really wanted to share though. Here in the states there is a program on public tele from a phychiatrist called Dr Daniel Amen. He is world wide known for his work in brain spect scans and is a well published author. His book, "Change your brain, Change your body" talks about diet and how to avoid cravings as well as what type of foods, vitimens, supplements will help different people based on thier own individual chemistry. This link can explain in more detail and I think everyone would find this site interesting. There is a lot of useful info there. This isn't some guy sellin snake oil. Its useful info that makes total sense.

http://www.amenclinics.com/clinics/getting-started/


I really can't do him justice here. The stuff is self explainitory about weight control and nutrition. One thing I learned years ago is that we can function on 1800 high quality calories a day and still have energy that will surprise you. When I became a diabetic I went head on into the challange and learned so much. I was doing martial arts and working second shift and constuction in the morning on 2000 calories. And I felt great, took less insulin, and didn't even feel like smoking anymore.


But here is the prize i got in Dr Amens book that went beyond the diet thing. "Change your brain, Change your body" is an encylopedia of practical information and studies about brain chemistry, the effects of hormones, even where they come from, and every diagnosed mental illness that we have to deal with in these times. He also discusses how so many things are mis-diagnosed and why.

If you ever wanted a easy read simply laid out book that can help you understand yourself and ones you love from the point of what goes on in our brains, emotions, memory, with practical help. This book is a must have. If anything I would suggest buying it from wherever.


The SPECT scans are also interesting on the site. Shows what happens to the Pre Frontal Cortex, (The part that makes good decisions), under the influence of just about any drug, as well as most common brain maladys,(ADD. Alziemers,).

I always KNEW it was all in my head! Lol

I like spinach. However, I don't think it should replace romaine and green leaf lettuce. It's good to see you making positive changes. I would urge you to start introducing some more weight bearing exercise.

And if you ever have any diet, exercise, or nutrition questions...shoot me an email. I teach diet, exercise, and nu nutritrition as part of my profession.

Ok Scotty T/J ahead.

Thats awesome kilted. So Scotty you have someone who is a professional.

Kilted Is it true that spinach is mostly protien and that is why its more benificial in diets as opposed to boston and romaine?

Sorry for the T/J. Im just one of those believers that if we want to run our bodies at high performance. We need to fuel up on high test. Not sure about the additives

K have you ever read Robert Haas? I know he sounds like a high school cheerleader in his book but he had done a lot of work in the 80s and still has a clinic I think. I know at the time it worked for me.

Have you ever looked into or heard about DR. Amen? Hes more about balancing brain chemistry but uses nutrition and exercise to do it. Even has studies quoted about how kids with ADD benifeted. (Makes sense huh?)

If Scotty doesn't mind I wopuld like to bend your ear about some stuff as I am getting back into physical fitness. Let me know if its OK. I don't wanna turn it into more work for you.

Spinach has some protein in it as nearly all fruits and vegetables have some protien component to them. However, a serving is going to net you only a gram...maybe 2. But the protein quality is pretty poor. So there's no way I'd rely on spinach or any vegetable to get my daily need for protein. Overall spinach scores higher than romaine. However, romaine does have a higher mineral count than spinach in a few areas. So to exclude one for the other is not ideal.


Nope don't mind at all. I'm on summer break, so I have quite a bit of extra free time on my hands. You can thread it on this site or my email is on my profile.

Thanx Kilted, I am telling my friend that a PROFESSIONAL told me that I can have ROMAINE again. WOOOHOOO. I don't like iceberg, so I had changed to romaine YEARS ago. I went to my doctor today to get my monthly B12 shot and I asked to get weighed. I am HAPPY to report that I have lost 85lbs since 6 months ago. WOOOHOOOO. I don't like milk, so I have been eating cheese instead. My friend is getting so mad at me. I told her I need to eat cheese because I don't like yogurt either. I could be eating better, but I am making small changes on a weekly basis.

On a Bamot front, I fell into a bit of a hole yesterday. I was at work and a man whom Bampot and I went to college with(who attended our wedding and even worked with Bampot for about 8 years at his current job) came in. He saw me and said, "Hi, how are you? How's Bampot and the boys doing?" I said, "Well, Bampot is having an affair with POSOW and left me 6 months ago to live with her." He was SHOCKED. He kept saying, "That is not like him. I never would have thought that HE would do something like that. I can't believe it. I am so sorry." I simply said, "You have nothing to be sorry about, you didn't do anything." Then it of course made me think about Bampot. I almost started to cry right there. It really makes me KNOW that Bampot wasn't like this before. He was a GREAT man and that GREAT man is still in there somewhere. That makes me KNOW that I was not wrong about him all of these years. The people who really know him are AMAZED at his actions of late.

We all know what happens in an affair. We all know how they get there. It is good to know I didn't start out with a husband that was a real POS. Hopefully, he will one day realize what a mess he has made out of his life and try to fix it. I am in Plan B, to ensure I have something left in the bank to attempt a recovery.

Are you getting enough red meat? Those that don�t get enough beef in their diet can often suffer from not getting enough B12. When I�m looking at diet with someone else, I always look first at vegetables, then protein consumption, then fat consumption and what types of fat, and then fruits. Throw out all starchy vegetables (peas, carrots, etc), eat plenty of protein (1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight or close), eat plenty of monounsaturated fats (think green olives) and omega 3s (fish oil), and eat primarily berries as fruit sources. Weight bearing exercises (more than using 5 pd weights) should be introduced�this becomes important for women as they age in dealing with osteoporosis. More muscle means metabolism is higher, we become more efficient at burning fat at rest, and we look and feel better.

One of the problems is so many people take exercise and diet advice from magazines and then pass this bad advice onto friends �hey dude/hey girl�I read in this magazine that��

I probably don't get enough red meat(what is ENOUGH BTW?). I prefer chicken but I don't even eat that daily. Like I said, I am a crappy eater. I am a HUGE carb girl. I know I have to cut that out. I drink plenty of water(last July is when I started drinking water, before it was pop/juice). I won't get into it right now, it is quite embarrassing really. It is BETTER than before and that is what is important.

I will definitely look into weight training too. Should I be doing that on the days that I am not going to the PT?

85lbs?? Wow good going! Scotty, I lost 30lbs after getting rid of all sugary drinks, upping my protein intake, cutting back on processed sugars and carbs and exercising every day. I am a carb addict as well. What married forever told me was that increasing protein would help me feel more satiated and less likely to eat too many bad carbs. I slipped lately but am ready to get back on track. I eat string cheese and yogurt every day because I don't drink milk. Sometimes I substitute sugar free pudding for the yogurt.

I am sorry about the sad day you had yesterday.

I'd look at try and getting 4-8 ounces to start with on a daily basis. And I'd do weight training on your off days but get at least 1 day a week of rest. As your conditioning gets better, you can even combine the PT class and after weight training

Sugar free pudding, geez I hadn't thought of that.

I also have a problem with sauces. I put a sauce on EVERYTHING. SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING. It is something I have been trying to cut back on.

Thanx FF. It sucked because whenever I have to tell someone, they have such pity in their eyes and it hurts. I don't want people to pity me. I want them to know that I am strong enough. It simply amazes me that so many people care. It is comforting to know that I did choose the right people to keep in my life. I have always surrounded myself with good friends who were good people. The not so good ones, weren't worth my time and energy. I always followed my gut in picking the people to grace with my presence(HAHAHAHAHA I couldn't type that with a straight face). I chose to have friends who made my life BETTER. That's why I am addicted to THIS place and all of YOU. My life is leaps and BOUNDS better than 8 months ago.