I am scared to get back out there. I haven�t dated at all. Separated for a 1 year and now divorced almost a year. I have been busy with the kids, work, and have been going to therapy the last few months to help me in finally healing from my divorce. I am lonely sometimes especially after the kids are in bed at night. During that little bit of downtime, I feel that little stab of loneliness.

I have considered online dating but end up talking myself out of it. My friends and family say it is time to get back out there. I am just not feeling very confident. My ex doesn�t get any unsupervised visitation, so the kids are with me 100% of the time. Doesn�t leave much room for dating. So I keep feeling like I have limited time to offer so who would want to date me. I feel like here I am 35 and single and that this is the way I am going to stay. All of my friends and family are all married with families and here I am on my own. I feel so awkward sometimes at my children�s sports events and activities.

I love the peace and lack of drama the kids and I have now and we have all been doing really well. I have a full and busy life. I guess I just wish I had someone to share it with.

So I have set a goal to at least join a site by the end of the summer. At least get my feet wet and date even if it leads to nothing else. What sites do people here recommend? How long do you talk online with someone before you agree to meet them in person? I am really super cautious about strangers so that has been another reason why I haven�t tried it yet. I was married to a psycho for 9 yrs and I am not looking to run into new ones Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

It is scary to get back "out there". Here are my tips for getting back out in the dating scene.

Be aware of your surroundings.
You mentioned that you feel awkward and your children's sports events and activities. I promise that you are not the only single parent there. Are there other single moms that you can befriend? Any cute single dads or uncles? If you make some friends (male or female) at these events, you will feel more comfortable.

Look your best
You will feel better if you take care of yourself and you never know who you might run into. This also goes for profile pics when you are ready for the online dating profile pics. You have to have the best profile pics possible.

Be your best
Do and be the things that make you happy or intrigued. You will be more likely to meet people with similiar interests whether male or female. Happiness and confidence are very attractive qualities. Plus, they feel good to experience too. After my divorce, I joined the Sierra Club because I like to hike. I made friends at work that like to ride quads in the desert. I went country dancing with friends from work. I ran 5ks by myself. You get the idea. There are a lot of activities that you can share with your kids too. There are a ton of kids at 5ks (men too and they are fit!). There is all kinds of volunteer work and church activities that are very rewarding.

Have fun
Go easy on yourself. Date for practice at first. Meet some interesting people. Make some new friendships. You don't need to hold out for your soulmate to go on a date. Dip your toes in the water and keep the pressure off. There is plenty of time to get serious.

Be safe
Meet someone for the first time in a public location. Short public first dates are ideal. Let friends know where you are going and when you will be back. Have a plan if someone seems creepy (like knowing where the fire dept and police are located). Never drive home if you think someone is following you. Drive yourself. Do not get in a stranger's car. Print out the profile pic and leave the name of your new date with a friend.

I'd like to offer a piece of advice that will seem counter-intuitive...
Talk on the phone and meet the man sooner rather than later.
A lot of important information is missing in an email, vocal tones and inflection as well as body language. Body language is how we really read people.

If you email a lot, you will disclose a lot of personal information in your attempt to get to know the other person. Even if you don't say where you live, you may have given someone a peek at your life you wish you hadn't.

Use a cell phone number, or call the man blocking your own number. Then, if you like the guy meet in a public place. If he's a huge creep, don't let him walk you to your car.

The MOST important thing to remember is that the majority of the people aren't going to work out. Match.com suggests you let people know if you aren't interested. No one ever does this. Instead, they just stop emailing. It's easier on everyone's ego.

I would start with making friends at first, since you say you feel awkward at your kids' ballgames, etc. I would work on getting out and meeting other kids' parents, to start with. There's a number of things you could join that would involve your kids and give you exposure to other parents, some of which would be single.
You say you enjoy the peace you have in your home now, so relish that rather than jumping into another relationship that could disrupt it. Enjoy being single and making friends...time enough for another relationship on down the road!