I checked his email he is looking for apartments/ housing and has enlisted his sister and family.

you did the right thing. its still early in the process.

prd

He called the OW I cant see the text but he called her at 5pm.. This is just awful

everything is ok. you have just blown their life up. they are probably in a big fight right now, blaming each other for the a. her bh probably knows now or will shortly.

prd

OMG...

this is so like reading my thread its just crazy eerie...

GOOD JOB ON EXPOSURE!

I was where you are right now, exactly 2 weeks and 4 days ago.

Exposure is the RIGHT THING!!

You did NOTHING WRONG! You just told people what was happening. If they were so worried about what other people thought about what they were doing, they shouldnt have been doing it.

It took my WW weeks, sessions with Jennifer, and lots of UA time just to tell me that she was stupid for having an A, and that it was wrong. She still is mad about exposure.

It takes time to come out of the fog.

Exposure destroys the fantasy world. If your WH goes to OW right now, its not that neat for you, but remember, this whole time is going to be lots of LBs between them.

These guys are right on this board... make SURE that OWH knows and start talking to him. Coordinate efforts.

Start getting your Plan B ready right now, hope for the best, plan for the worst.

Start looking into taking over the bank stuff, phone, internet and other bills, talk to a lawyer, write a Plan B letter and post it on here so the smart people can screen it for you.

Get everything in place so you can Plan B at the drop of a dime.

This helps a LOT for being able to maintain Plan A. Knowing you have the power to end the abuse and protect yourself with Plan B at any time makes you feel safe and secure, and Plan A doesnt seem so hard with that security in place.

Lots of good info around here on your Plan A and things to say in response to his verbal abuse.

"I love our family, it is here for you when you are ready to commit to it again." - worked wonders for me. Broken record... over and over.

Pulling for you, hang in there. I know it probably seems impossible... but

try to eat something. I lost about 13 pounds the first week and a half after D-day. It is not a good way to do it. Try real hard to eat something. Take care of yourself.

hi there,
hope you got some sleep last night I remember the first few days myself, don't worry about what he doing or who he is talking to.
if he says anything just keep saying that you love him and you are trying to save your marriage....
protect yourself as much as possible, take care of the financial stuff, the day I went to the bank after 26 years of marriage was tough, but I opened my own accounts, set up a line of credit for myself and opened a new credit card of my own.....
i told my husband that I didn't choose any of this but had to take care of myself since he seemed to be looking after someone else.....
i think he actually was scared when he saw me move into action.......
i just kept telling him I loved him and I wanted him to be happy......all of a sudden he didn't think his new life with his new friend living away from me and his family seemed like such a great idea.....
Plan A my [censored] off for 2 months and gave him a date to be out of the house since this is what he had decided this is what he wanted for his life......
You must focus on the big picture like I did, I thought my husband was going to be gone for good as well, he told me he loved her and not me, guess what it wasn't really true.........don't worry about the now for the time being......let it run it's course a little, stay with the plan and don't love bust in anyway, just keep telling him you love him and that you will stand behind the man you love....
let him live through all the emotions he is going to feel.......he will realize what a mess he has made of his life and re-think why all this is happening....

Yes Quamie -- This will pass..too

After probably a restless night you probably have woke up doubting your actions. DO NOT.

You are a warrior in the battle for your marriage. This is not easy stuff. Your H is not capable right now. You need to think of him as an alcoholic. He wakes up with all good intentions then comes in the path of the OW and boom, like an alcoholic picks up that glass of toxic poison.

You were an enabler in his A by being complacent and now that you have pulled the spokes out of the wheel he is in for a bumpy ride and not liking it.

He very well might take his toys and run away to "prove" you were so mean to him. You have exposed his sleaziness to the light and he is not liking it and for the OW in seminary school -- I can only imagine.

Maybe this will put her on the right path to God instead of play acting it. How will it look to her Christian friends that she is having an A with a man who has 5 kids and one on the way.

For your H he is exposed to his own actions. He is not liking it that you have rocked HIS world.

Just try and stay calm. Breathe. Do not argue, cry or plead. Just calming keep saying I love you and our family. No explanation.

Prayers to you and your little family.

Thank you all. You hit it right on the head. I did not rest instead I am back in the hospital in labor again hoping they can stop it.

I am questioning my decision,, If I could have done this a better way,, should I have done this... Did I make the right choice.

But its DONE and there is no turning back.. I will continue to move forward and know that GOD has a plan.

What you did was the ONLY way!

and

YES you did make the RIGHT CHOICE!

God says all lies and deceiptful acts are always exposed! always!

prd

UGH! I want to give you a huge hug right now!! Going back and forth to the hospital like this is so stressful on you and the baby - I know, I spent 2 of 4 pregnancies like that. How are you feeling today?

Prayers to you and the health of your baby.

Where is H in all of this? Did he go to the hospital?

I know it must be intolerable in your situation but just take this time for YOU. He is a wayward and everything that will spew from his mouth will be toxic.

Please know as you are resting they are running around like chickens without their heads, they are trying to do damange control and there is nowhere to hide.

Is anyone with you at the hospital? Any MBers in her area???

No one should be alone at a time like this. Do you have family around?

Blessings.

bump for group prayer for quamie and her child. please Lord, protect quamie and her child. please put a hedge of protection around them.

prd

I am worried about her. She was able to post while at the hospital, but that was a while ago... I hope that baby is still baking!!!

how far along is she? her husband is a total jacka and will be lucky if he doesnt take his own life over this.

prd

Hey all. I am with laptop so I am able to post! THANK YOU so much for prayers and words of encouragement.

I am surround by wonderful and supportive family and friends. This is HARD but this is NOT impossible. My friend just left from visiting.

He did not come home last night but told me he would be at a hotel. Then he text good night I did not respond.

I went to hospital and sent text to all family WH included that I had arrived and would update as changes happened.

WH text at 530am
I gave update
He has checked in several times
He is very upset and depressed of course, I have continued my FB messages to OW friends list today.

I have gotten some responses, some ugly some supportive it was expected.

I am and will continue to be in the hospital until our daughter is born. We hope to make it 2 weeks we are praying for 4 weeks.

WE will make it but thank you for ALL the support because without this I dont know where I would be!

stay strong!

prd

Quamie, I admire your strength.

Here you are in bed rest, pillows propped with laptop on growing belly sending out FB messages to continue implosion and exposure.

Your new baby will have a great role model from her Mama.

Once exposure is done sit (lay) back and just remain silent. Don't be quick about picking up his text or emails. Maybe have him call one of your friends or family for updates. Don't give him guilt. You don't have too he is already in that place.

This is your time to have grace and put your priority on your family.

Glad your family is surrounding you.

Prayers and blessings

Oh dang, you are stuck there for 2-4 weeks? How is your 5 year old holding up? I bet she misses her mommy!

So, he did not come SEE YOU?

I will never forget when I had JUST got discharged from the hospital for preterm labor and H leaving 15 minutes later for an overnight work retreat with the OW (did not know she was going or who she was until our son was born). That still haunts me - how excited and happy he looked to leave me alone to care for 3 kids while he went overnight with the OW.

Good job keeping up on everything - you are incredibly strong!!

Just chiming in to send you healthy wishes for you and the new baby. I am glad you have help and support.

You are doing the right thing with the exposure - perfect!

Are his mother and sister supportive of you and of him ending the A?