I've missed that noise

ALL GONE. No worries.

So went for the meeting with the childrens' psychologist and she was able to get my WW to actually look at me and say "the marriage is dead" so I guess that is it. Now I have various family members here as they are all concerned I left the meeting unhappy and early and the don't feel comfortable with me having the kids on my own> Which I am fine christ it's not like I didn't see this day coming. So now I have ppl trying to control my life and what i do and when I have my kids despite CAS not being involved.

It's this [censored] that I really deviate back to is life really worth it when friends are taking your kids from you for no obvious signs of issues....So the WW has got everyone concerned about kids, semi convince that what she is doing is ok and can now proceed with divorce filings I guess. Does it matter who files first and how hard is it to file uner adultry? Does it benefit anyone that way?

Okay, how long has your WW lived away from you? We live in Canada and in Canada, you have to be separated for 12 months before you can file for divorce. There are other circumstances where you could file sooner and adultery is one of them. Only, YOU would be the only one who could file that way. As far as I see it(and I am NO LAWYER), you will not be getting a D paper for some time yet.

Now look at your last post and see that your friends may have real reasons to worry about you when you talk like this. Are you on meds? Are they working? Do you go to IC regularly? You need to take care of yourself.

Are you still doing this the MB way? Are you still in Plan A? Do you have a time limit when you will change to PLan B(This being done AFTER a SPECTACULAR PLAN A)?

Yes I'm on my meds, have been fairly good emotionally and trying to stick to plan A but I look now after what she said tonight...and what is the point? She keeps saying by the way I'm exposing her, just telling family and friends and parents in her classroom when they call the house that she no longer lives here as she left to carry on an affair with someone else, that I'm the bad guy and when i do things like that why would she want to get back together with me? Quite frankly I dont think she ever has and is just stalling. I'm so sad and hurt at how she can be like this and not even want therapy. I have never wanted to harm her but I almost hope she hooks up with someone who is abusive to her....so sad i know but maybe them she would realize?

GOD SHE IS KILLING ME, I can certainly see how unstable ppl snap and kill their ex spouses....you can get to that line very closely and easily!!!

Torsade - Please realize that exposure is your best friend. It is good that your wife is angry. Continue exposing her affair and speaking the truth. Don't give up now.

As for your friends, of course they are worried. You have been through a lot. They care.

Chances are excellent that the affair will end and your wife will come back. You just need to continue what you have been doing. Your children are depending on you, the only sane one, to protect the family.

Sorry I haven't been on for a bit...I'm still trying to deal with my emotions...as I still get quite upset and angry when I'm around my WW. I can't seem to get over her...I guess I'm still hoping she comes back therefore I don't want to. I still can't believe this is happening some days. I love her so much and I though she felt the same so I don't understand how this doesn't tear her apart...especially to see the kids going through this. I feel so bad for them....I just watch them sleep and cry when they are in bed. I feel like they have been set up for so many issue/relationship problems for the rest of their lives. And this is totally not what I wanted my life to be like but I have no control over this and I hate it. I hate that someone else is deciding how my life will play out in regards to relationships. Do you think that it is still possible she may come back? She still sees the OW, as they work together and outside of work. My inlaws haven't spoken to me in months...despite my brother in law getting married this summer. It's amazing how cold ppl can be.

Torsade, what you describe is exactly how I feel. I love my WH so much and it breaks my heart that he no longer feels the same for me. We have been separated for 9 months now and he is still active in his A with OW. He has not shown any sign of wanting to R the M.
Our son is in college but he is devastated. H used to love our son, he is now close to indifferent towards him. Every day I feel as if my life makes no sense without my H and I am sad sad sad. However this situation is out of our hands, there is absolutely nothing we can do to make them come back.
It is not possible to tell if your WW or my WH will come back. It is very worrysome, however, that we are still all wrapped up in thinking about them in spte of the evidence of their ations.
My IL are also very cold. They never call me or ask how I am doing. It is from them that my WH takes his coldness. This makes me think that chances that he will want to R the M are very slim. To him being cold and distant is second nature.
blessing

Torsade, it's good to hear from you. How has your Plan A been going? Have you been able to meet any of her ENs? Have you stopped the LBs? It has been a month since you posted last, how has MB been going for you? You would need to get a good Plan A in before you could go into Plan B.

I hope your plan A is better than you update. Whats going on.

Unfortunately no plan A is not going as it should...sorry to disappoint everyone...including myself. I have been busy trying to get myself back on track by going back to work, which was in a new area of the hospital and involved traning, refreshing....etc. I am still so heartbroken that I feel like I have lost my soul. She meant everything to me and I can remember thinking at times that I didn't know what I'd do without her...well here I am....without her and so empty. I miss her so much and get so emotional and sad when ever we are face to face. Whenever we are talking close to gether all I think about is us standing at the alter reciting our vows. She is also being difficult with respect to the kids. I'm so afraid that I will never meet someone who treated me good (at one point) and who is so beautiful...I feel like she was my only chance as I have never had attractive woman flock to me. And my kids hurt so much. I have been good like getting her something for Easter, letting her know how the kids are when with me etc. I don't know if its still possible for her to comeback, whether I should take her back, whatever you have.....I dunno what to do. Pls help!!!

Being things are not going well for you I don't remember if you have called the HArley's.?

They should give you a game plan to work through this.

I'm sorry what is that or what does that mean?

Torsade, TheRoad is suggesting that you call the coaching center and get help directly from the Harleys(Dr Harley wrote the books and his son, Steve and daughter, Jennifer are who you would talk to if you call the coaching center).

It is a GREAT suggestion, as they can help you make a plan that would best fit your sitch.

Thank you scotland

Torsade, I understand your pain. But feeling sorry for yourself will do nothing for your recovery. Actually, self pity is a sure way to be unattractive.

C'mon brother, be strong for you and your kids. Being busy is not an excuse to stop fighting for your family.

I agree, you should contact the Harleys for help. Stay positive and don't lose hope.

--ElCamino72

Thank-you everyone!! I will contac these ppl and ask for help. It's so nice to see ppl respond and help point me in to the direction. Thanks!

Tosade 74