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There are times when talking to the friend about issues and knowing they have complaints similar to mine, simply makes me feel better.
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Seriously, there is no affair, we are coworkers/friends that talk to each other. We don't even really hang out that often outside of work. Almost always when we have it has been with other people around. Men and women can be friends. I work with basically all women, its bound to happen that I be friends with some of them. You have hung out alone with her at times...Tom, please. 
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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No, I don't tell her when I discuss marital issues with my friend. As I am guessing my friend doesn't tell her husband she discusses hers with me. We just use each other as sounding boards because we have had similar experiences in life. We relate to one another, so it is good to get someone elses perspective who relates to similarly. That is all. Tell your wife. See how she feels. You wont will you? Because you don't want to hurt her. But you have already hurt her. Your actions hurt her, not the truth. The lie (by omission) only compounds the hurt.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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There are times when talking to the friend about issues and knowing they have complaints similar to mine, simply makes me feel better. Your WIFE should be the only one making you feel better. NOT a co-worker.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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The few times that my friend and I have been alone together, my wife always knows. I don't hide the fact that we have talked to each other after work. Or once or twice stayed after everyone else has left at the restaurant and talked. Yes we have been alone in cars together. For a long while she didnt have a car. I gave her rides home, nothing wrong witht that, just a friend giving a ride.
It is not often that we contact each other outside of work, but the occaisional call happens. The other day she had a question about cooking (shes learning, i love to cook), she called with a simple question. I didn't answer at the time, but still I see that something a friend does.
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YOU ARE TALKING TO HER ABOUT YOUR MARITAL ISSUES !!!!!!
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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There are times when talking to the friend about issues and knowing they have complaints similar to mine, simply makes me feel better. Of course it does. It's intimacy. Look, Tom, this is really easy. Intimacy goes to your WIFE and no other. It might surprise you, but you share more complaints with your WIFE than you do with this OW...because your complaints are about your marriage with her! D'oh! Do you want to be happy? Ditch the TV and your OW and put your focus on the gift you've been given, your wife.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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But in those situation the wife is not the one who relates and can give advice how to handle it. There have been multiple times where as sounding boards we have helped each other with advice on what to do. I am thankful for that. At one time when thre had been a bigger than usual lull in sex, and I wanted to get it back on track, she helped with some advice, and it paid off. Thats what friends do. I also don't think it makes a different that she is a coworker.
I don't really have friends outside of coworkers, that is really the only place I meet people.
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Please, Tom...We posters on here have seen this train wreck too many times. We are trying to steer you in a different direction than the one you are headed for.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I resent her being reffered to as OW(other woman), she is a friend. A good person, not simply OW.
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Tom, if there is REALLY nothing wrong with your relationship with this woman...tell your wife.
I'm serious.
Sit down with your wife and detail for her the conversations you've had with this other woman. Tell her what you told this other woman about your marriage. Tell her what you know about this other woman's marriage.
Would you do that?
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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No, I don't tell her when I discuss marital issues with my friend. As I am guessing my friend doesn't tell her husband she discusses hers with me. We just use each other as sounding boards because we have had similar experiences in life. We relate to one another, so it is good to get someone elses perspective who relates to similarly. That is all. She sounds great. Why aren't you married to her?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I resent her being reffered to as OW(other woman), she is a friend. A good person, not simply OW. 
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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The fog is too thick on this thread.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I thought I was "in love" a couple other times. But it wasn't real. It was not recipricated at all, I wasn't a strong enough person either time to really be in love either. Those previous experiences can give you clues to what a woman can do that makes you feel "in love." And those clues can help your wife help you to feel that way again.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I resent her being reffered to as OW(other woman), she is a friend. A good person, not simply OW. Sorry. She IS an OW, 'good person' or not. Actually, a true friend and good person would not get emotionally entangled with someone else's husband...she would send you home to talk to your wife.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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I don't see any reason for that. I don't see it accomplishing anything good. I don't expect my wife to tell me everything about any conversation she has with other people.
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I resent her being reffered to as OW(other woman), she is a friend. A good person, not simply OW. Good women don't have private conversations with a man about his marriage, especially if they are married, themselves. That's like having sex. Seriously, it is. Sex is emotional need for some people; it's something they crave and seek out. For others, intimate conversation is something they crave and seek out. Like you have done. This is like letting another woman kiss you.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I don't see any reason for that. I don't see it accomplishing anything good. I don't expect my wife to tell me everything about any conversation she has with other people. It's going to devastate her, and you're a big chicken. Be honest. You know you're doing wrong if you won't tell your wife.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
(Oscar Wilde)
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And at times she has told me that certain things I need to talk to my wife about, and I have. We only have each others best interests in mind when we talk to each other. Would it make a difference if she were a guy. I don't see why.
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