<P>PLEASE ......<P>I need your voices..<P>I can't stop crying and I just want all the pain to stop!!!!<P>I can't sign papers that are a lie...I just can't!!!!<P>I know that I have been strong and maybe I will be again, but right now I have no strength and no hope.....I am dying a very slow.....death !!! I feel like my soul is damned - at least the part that H has!!<P>H won't go to counseling and says (through his lawyer) that there is absoutely no way that he will stay married......<P>I didn't really expect that he would go so why is this confirmation wreaking havoc on me? <P>I am so tired..I just want a life...some second during the day to be truly happy....that's all I want!!!!<P>H didn't call last week or even come by with the weekly check, so I know that he is pissed and will avoid me about this now just like he avoided our relationship for the past three years...<P>he is lost, I am lost.......everything is gone so why can't I be gone too!! I am stuck in quicksand and am sinking!!!<P>Help......<P>Sheba<BR>

I want to reach out and give you a big hug!<P>I just wanted you to know that someone is here and listening, and will pray for you too. Go do something!!!!!<P>Kill some time today and do something for you, or go watch a good movie, preferably a comedy...<P>Go find a friend to sit and have a cup of tea with and cry this all out of your system.. Is there someone there for you?<P>cozy

We are all here for you.<P>No one can make the pain stop. It may be time to just grieve.<P>But there is hope. Maybe not for your marriage at this point. But there is hope for your life, Sheba.<P>You are loved by many. You are a positive influence in many lives.<P>The good Lord has a purpose for you, even if you do not know what it is or how to find it at this minute. He also promices to have great plans for you.<P>This may be the valley of the shadow for you, but there will be a full and abundant life for you.<P>For all the love you have to give, your life will not come up empty.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Keep talking to us, Sheba. We're here.

Thanks Cozy - I need the hug...I am sick so that's probably contributing...<P>Everyone's at work..... I just need to cry this out I guess - Haven't done it in a while.<BR> <BR>Thanks FHL - I know that what you say is true.....right now though I also know that I gave all this love I have to him....it was so wonderful that he threw it away!!!! Guess that says alot about just how much my showing love is worth.....

Sheba:<P>You will find your peace and joy again, even if it isn't with your husband. You've done everything possible and have become a fine person. He is the one who will have to deal with himself in the future. Your integrity will give you peace, once you get passed the grieving.<P>I don't think any of us can explain why the infidels do what they do. How someone can leave a marriage without making any effort to repair things is beyond me. But it happens over and over. It's a weakness within him, certainly not within you.<P>Be good to yourself and know that you are capable of giving and receiving great love.

sheba...i too am in the depths of where<BR>you are...my situation is dark for me <BR>as w has filed for d and we are separated i am betrayer and would give <BR>anything to try to rebuild my affair is<BR>a dead issue for me but nothing seems to<BR>matter to w she is too devastated and with good reason...the one point that i<BR>want to make to you is that i am learning that i can only control the things that i can -- my life and what i <BR>do, i cannot worry about what i cannot<BR>control or it will eat me alive...take<BR>stock here and try to control the things<BR>you can...feeling better about yourself...and what you need to do in that respect...you have that control noone else...reach out to your close friends and family for the help you need<BR>they will be a source of solace and comfort for you, as will all of us here<BR>finally, one thing someone once told me <BR>and if you sit and think about it it is <BR>so true and accurate..."dwelling is for the immortal" ...hang in and try to be <BR>positive best wishes and luck ...much peace and love ... trying hard<BR>

((((hugs)))) I'm here just holding on to you...you'll be alright...<P>------------------<BR>Joan <P>"Turn your wounds into wisdom..." That really cool black gal who was on Oprah all summer.<BR>

Loving God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, I yield up Sheba into your loving hands of care and protection. I hold the victory and name of the Lord Jesus Christ over Sheba as protection against the plans of darkness to harm and destroy her. I ask you to assign holy angel protection and the sealing ministry of the Holy Spirit upon Sheba at all times. I recognize the Enemy's effort to put a spirit of fear and hopelessness in Sheba. Lord, I ask that You rap your loving arms around Sheba and comfort her through this most difficult time. Supply her with the grace and mercy she needs as you carry her through this trial. Again, I yield up Sheba into the care and keeping power of the true and living God. <P>Amen.<P>SHA

Sheba<BR>Do you know what I wish right now? I wish that you could hop on a plane, I could hop on a plane, and we could meet each other somewhere that there is absolutely NOTHING that has anything to do with all this crap.<BR>Imagine it. Somewhere to escape to where there are no reminders.<BR>Somewhere where the only thing that matters is finding our way back to normal. seeing that there is life outside of this mess.<BR>There is a life outside this crap you know. Someday I know we will find it.<BR>Cry girl, grieve. Don't try to be strong anymore. <BR>Vent, talk, whine.... do anything to get it out. Scream the house down. Get angry. beat on a pillow. get it out.<BR>I'll start looking through the phone book for a good convent or institution for us.<BR>The pain sucks. It sucks big time. <BR>Some days I just cry for all of us.<BR>{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SHEBA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>I'm here too..... go ahead and cry it all out. Then, do something really nice for yourself. <P>I'll be on and off all day..... I'm listening.<P>Thoughts & Prayers,<BR>B<P><BR>At church yesterday, the sermon was about how we close doors and end relationships.... I cried. But there was hope given. Even though we close doors, and put up walls, they can still be reopend or torn down. <P><P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

NO NO NO, Sheba, your love and the unconditional depth of your love is a precious gift.<P>Your H's nuttiness and his refusal to accept it and give love back in no way reflects the value of your love.<P>We are only accountable to do what is in our control and you've went way beyond. It is hard to know we are right, but acknowledge that we can not make another do what is right.<P>In my opinion, your H is not refusing your love. I think he likes it. I think he is denying himself a life of any depth or of every feeling. It seems like he can not commit to feel or maybe to consistantly take ownership and responsibility of feelings, so he is keeping his whole life superficial and is running more from himself than from you.<P>Problem is he still has to take himself on the trip.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Wasstubborn,<BR>Will you make a reservation there for me too?? I'll catch a plane to anywhere.<BR>B<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Amen, SHA<P>Feel our prayers, Sheba.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Oh sheba....it just kills me when there's nothing I can do!<P>I can't even be there to give you a big hug personally....<BR>FHL and all the others said everything. You're important to us, and we care about you. You might not have been able to reach H ( yet?) but you reached many of us in here and made their lifes easier with your suggestions and caring.<P>You are strong and no matter what happens you are coming out of it with the knwoledge that you did everything you could, and are a bettter person for it. If your H can't see that its because he needs wassy's frying pan <P>But you can see it, and we can. You'll be fine. ANd until you do, we're here.<P>Got to go back to work, but be back later. Will e-mail you then.<P>A BIG BIG HUG!<P>Kat<P>P.S. do something nice for you today even though you don't feel like it, O.K.?<BR>

Sheba,<BR>I'm here for you as well. I'm sorry that I haven't been around recently. I was on a business trip, but I'm here now. Please stay strong. Life is an adventure. just consider this a little pause. Talk to us. we are here for you. My suggestion is for you to go on a long walk and clear all of the negative feelings out of your mind. Think of all the good that is around you. Smell the air, listen to the birds, watch as the world goes by and realize that you are a special part of it. Realize also that it is the H that is making a mistake and you will be better for it. Strength comes from within. Find your inner strength and hold it out for all to see. Most of all never give up.<P>------------------<BR><BR>That Which does not kill us makes us stronger.<BR>

Sheba -- I wish I could offer you more, but I am afraid that my prayers are all I can offer you right now.<P>Have a good cry, try to get some rest. This will work out for you, even if your H is not in the picture, you will get through this.<P>I'm praying for you Sheba.<P>God Bless

OH, Sheba. I wish I were there with you so that you weren't going through this by yourself.<P>You know that your love was a wonderful gift that he just didn't know how to appreciate. Please don't feel that way about yourself.<P>We're all here with you. You are cherished by so many. Hold on to us and use our collective strength to get you through today.<P>Love,<BR>Lori

Sheba,<P>Hang on. Go slow. Do what you need to do.<P><B>((((((Sheba)))))))</B><P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

My Goodness...Thank you all so much!!<P>I am still crying and talk about a stuffed up head!!! I can't breath..<P>I keep thinking that :<P>I was so SURE that my H was the one I would spend my life with...I had no doubts whatsoever....<P>Not even through the last three years with all he has done....<P>How will I ever be able to trust that I know anything? How can I believe that I will have that special fulfillment with a man ever again.....I thought I had it..and was slammed in the face with the phonyness of it all.<P>Maybe it doesn't exist for me!!!<P>I don't think that I want to start playing the game again in this lifetime!! Not if this is the result and I won't know that - will I?<P>I need to reply to all, but first have to take a hot shower to unclog my nose and my head!!<P>I love you all, you know!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba<P>