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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 66
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OP
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 66 |
Is it normal for my H (BS) to not be concerned about ANYTHING else going on in our lives, except US. Example.....something can be going on with our children and all he can say is.....well what about us? I just text him to let him know that our dog (beloved pet) has been sick for three days.....(H is out of town for his job).....he says....ok.....I hope that doesn't make u in a bad mood for when I come home. I agree that alot of time and energy needs to be devoted to US but when we can't deal with every day worries because of it.....is that good?
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 688
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 688 |
you should stick to one thread.
Is it normal?
My puts 110% into everything but me. I get about 80% from her the times she DOES concentrate on me. When we got out dog and she was a pup, she would wake up and console it when it whimpered, and was worried about it. Finally I had to tell her IT'S A DOG! When is says, "I'm hungry!" then we can worry!
She put very little into us when I went all in. Now she is all in and I'm burned to a crispy critter and could care less... her WW. Me... taking up her past attitude of "what have you done for me lately?"
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,496 |
My only problem with his attitude is that it seems that he doesn't want to deal with your upset feelings. Now if your bad mood about the dog generates more bad feelings all around then he'd have a point, BUT...if that is not the case then it would bother me. How does he react to your feelings of sadness if there is a "legitimate" reason for it? If he actually gets upset BECAUSE you're upset that would be a problem.
BW(me)
DDay EA 4/05
DDay PA 6/05
In recovery
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
I agree with MicheleG.
But I would also remind you that his last D-Day was approx 3 months ago and you've been a serial cheater too. He is all out of sorts, and his normal is no longer normal.... It's going to take him several years of solid marital recovery before a new normal is found again. This will take time and a lot of hard work.
Are you both working MB?
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 66
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OP
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 66 |
sorry...i didn't realize that I should stay on one thread! I realize that he is very needy right now and I don't have a problem at all with that....I guess I just wish....well I guess I wish things could be better. I do realize that its going to take a long time and Im prepared for that!
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