alright thank you, I'll be updating this as things happen

So are you going to go into plan B now? I would, I wouldn't wait, call her parents and tell them that she will be over there tomorrow!

most likely though she wont move in with her parents, she will move in with the OM she is currently with, sorry to say but it's the truth

So get her OUT NOW!

yes, well im not at home right now, and after exposing everything last night i wont be surprised to find out she already left, but we'll see when i get off of work.

well actually here is my plan, im going to go home and if shes there im going to ask her if shes going to move back to her parents house in WI, or if shes going to stay in NC. if she says NC then shes gone tonight, if she says WI then plan B will have to wait a couple days, If i kick her out today then she will move in with OM for sure, but if plan B is to split them up then obviously the best thing is for her to move back to WI

So it didnt work out quite as nice as i thought, i asked her where she wanted to stay she said NC so I gave her the letter and asked her to be gone by tomarrow. She then just got upset as to why i was kicking her out and refused and said she would move out when she got a job, I then said no thats not how it works i want you to respect my decision and leave, well instead of leaving for good she packed a suit case for 1 night and left to "TJ's" I told her to be back by tomarrow (now today) to get the rest of her stuff, she then told me not to touch her stuff. So I told her to come back tomarrow to pack and get all of her stuff out or I would pack it for her and be on the porch.

be careful. Be aware that by doing this you are evicting her from her own house and that is tricky. There is a legal process for those things. If she agrees its no big deal. If she gets pissed it could look badly on you.

What did your lawyer say?

She did agree, and she wants to move out, but shes trying to move out on her terms, She does not work and has never payed a bill in her life, shes not even on the mortgage, therefore the house is not hers at all.

Need to talk with your lawyer about community property. While you were married you allowed her to sit home and do nothing. You accepted that as the norm. That WAS her job. Now because things are bad you cant change the arrangement. You allowed her to be lazy. The sad thing is the house is maritial property and its disposition will be arbitrated between yall or decided on by a judge.

Here is an example. Lets say man A works and man B watches the kids and is a housewife. Thats her job. If they divorce since he brought all the money into the M does she get left desititute? Nope. She gets spousal support for a period. They had an agreement that her watching the kids and thats her job.

Now here is the reality. All the disposition of assets are determined by the judge if yall cant come to a mutual agreement. Depending on the laws of your state they can consider cause and fault. I live in a fault state. Since my wife committed adultery she automatically is barred from spousal support. For assets they can consider that too. She will get something though.

Just be aware you might have to buy her out of the house or sell it and split the cost.

well we have agreed that i will take the house and continue to pay on it, right now nothing is contested, she gets the truck and all of her stuff and i get the house and all of my stuff, she was supposed to move back in with her parents, but since i exposed everything to her parents she is now refusing to move back in with them

I knew that was gunna happen, can you call her parents to see if they can come by and pick her up? She wont be able to refuse if they are willing to take care of her...and btw I have heard plenty of BS packing their WS things and leave them on the porch, if they agreed to leave, then I would do just that.

Whos is "TJ?" I really think that her parents should be there helping you get her out to their home, if she doesn't then she will be bouncing around to all the diff men, and if that happens, a lot of bad stuff will happen....

Rape, murder, drug abuse, etc....

So talk to her parents now, and see what they can do to help you.

yes, that was the next thing I planned on doing, hell ill even pay her dad to do it if moneys an issue. and tj is some guy she has lived with before when we were having trouble, im guessing its one of the other men shes been with but ive never seen proof and she denys it.
But I'll be getting in touch with her parents tonight seeing if maybe they can pick her up.

I would call them now not tonight, if you call them tonight then it will be too late for them to swing by to pick her up..you want her out NOW! This is what I would do...right now!

Call her parents let them know what is going on, and you will need their help before she ends up dead, or hurt.

Pack up her things

I would do those two things right now! So you are ready when she comes home and her parents are at the house, her things are all packed, ready to go home to her parents.

Even if TJ hasn't slept with your WW, he's been trying to. Get her parents on board with you. I'd also let his parent know that a married woman is now shacking up with him.

Not all states are community property states and some states recognize home ownership as separate property if you owned the home before you married. She would be entitled to 1/2 of the value of any improvements made to the home, or 1/2 of any equity built up during the term of the marriage, but that'd probably be about it. You guys haven't been married long enough for there to be much.

I agree with the others about getting her out though. I would pack her things and have them sitting on the curb since you've already warned her that would happen. Then change the locks. She can probably go to a Judge to ask for access to the home but it depends on the laws in your state as to whether he would grant it. You've already given her the Plan B letter?

well the reason i say tonight is that im at work now, her parents are at work and its a 18 hour drive to get here from their house. Yes I have given her the plan B letter. and jmwc95 id love to contact tj's parents but I have no information about this guy, i dont even know where he lives, i only know his phone number

Call them during lunch, they might be able to do something, the sooner the better though! Leave a voice message explaining everything, and have them call you back ASAP.

When do you get off work?

i dont get off work until around 330 E.T.

this is really alot harder than i thought itd be and its barely started, shes only been gone for less than a day and i miss her like crazy, i got no sleep last night, all i could think about is shes gone and at another guys house sleeping with him

1. I don't think you should have given her the letter until she moved out.

2. If your state is anything like mine, she has to agree to leave on her own. You can not kick her out without a court order... But she may not know that which can work in your favor.

3. If your in the state I think your in, (North Carolina)there is a mandatory 1yr "Cooling Off" period for all divorces. Where you aware of that?

4. You need to get a lawyer to advise you how to proceed. Some of the things you are doing, may look very bad to a judge. Then again, they may be fine...depends on the laws there.

It will be hard..trust me on that. Just focus on you now, you can't control her actions/emotions just yours Plan B is to help you out, not her. Keep reading on this site, to help you, it has a lot of articles, stay busy at work and at home.

Good luck!

And don't forget that their are people on this site that are willing to help, even if you wanna get on here and vent