I just had some gut feelings.

The saying of getting called in on off days, seemed weird (happened 3 times).

I have a very close person to me that works at the same place in admin. He checked her records of work.

I confronted her about it. She tried to lie about it. I already had it all figured out by this time and I just kept on her until she became honest with me.

How did you have it all figured out? Other than lying about work how did you know?

This is a pretty serious story to confess to w/o solid proof to back it up.

well the proof I had that she did not clock in was damaging to her. So she knew I had her there.

She was leaving for work a little early. She was not the same girl I knew. She was not the same wife I knew. She was distant.

But Sunday June 13th when she never went to work ever on a Sunday and he stopped by my house before that time. When she left I could tell by her look that something wasnt right as she kissed me and my 2 kids goodbye.

Then as I started giving the pieces to her in order, she knew it was done.

It took a while to get out the fact they had sex, but I do think she wanted it all to end.

I really hate to say this but if she has admitted to having 'coke whore' sex then you need to not have sex with her. She is more than likely having unprotected sex with more than 1 person in order to get her fix. When it gets this far, morals go out the door and they do some dirty dirty stuff.

He was the only connection she knew. She said he was the only one.

Now I truely believe at this point she is being 100% honest with me, I feel I can tell.

She said it was him cause he had the stuff.

Addicts lie.
All addicts.

I do not disagree.

But if she truely wants help will she then be honest?

Probably not.
Addicts lie to themselves.

What disturbs me is this (because it does not add up ), her age is 50.
You mentioned this has been going on for 2 years (that you know of ).
It is very unusual for a mature adult to START an addiction in their late forties.

That does NOT compute.
Something else is missing.

Does she also take prescription pain killers?
Does she drink?

There is something else here.
Sorry

no prescription pain killers.

Does not drink much at all.

Yeah you bet, there is a lot that does not add up.

Something missing? Yes apparently she was missing something in her life.


I am guessing he mentioned it to her and she gave it a go. The first claw was in!!


She is not the strongest person in the world. She is very easy to walk on. 100 lbs, betting it did not take a whole lot to want more!!!

Do you have a Target store nearby?



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Set the bar EXTRA high for her.

Unless she CHEERFULLY and GRATEFULLY submits to random drug testing at YOUR discretion, she will NOT be allowed around the children.

If she balks at this, YOU contact a family law attorney, and do NOT discuss it with her further. Do not even discuss the fact that you will be seeing an attorney.

Your FIRST responsibility is to keep ANY drug addict away from the kids.
Even their mother.

Does she work?
What type of work?

And I am guessing you are wanting to believe this.

Good suggestion but I'm betting she'll in inpatient rehab. Very few people can kick a speed addiction. I was lucky...I did after being strung out for a few years and geeked out for weeks at a time. But it can be done. It all depends on her willpower.

KILTED, I fully anticipate one of two outcomes.

1. Refusal to be tested.
2. Testing positive.

The reason I suggest this is because this husband believes his addict wife is no longer using.

This is to open HIS eyes.

He also believes his wife was victimized by her OM.

So, you believe that she dabbled with coke in her 20's, then suddenly went clean, and then suddenly two years ago was hooked to be an addict?

My husband is a recoverying addict.
When I discovered his addiction (I married him and didn't know he was an addict), the first day he was caught he gave me the alligator tears, swearing it was just this once, blah, blah, blah.

Day 2 I smartened up, took a sick day and discovered that indeed my husband was using way more than he let on.

Day 3, I went to one lawyer consultation, told my husband that I'd seen a lawyer and gave him a choice: recovery or marriage. I also gave him 4 days to decide.

My husband has been sober for 3.5 years now. For the first year I knew he was sober because I could verify it, myself and my husband was 1000% transparent. Around 18 months, I could tell by his changing behavior that he was sober and starting to really recover. At 3 years, his behavior tells me he's recovered.

For the first year of sobriety, I barely trusted anything my husband said until I could verify it, because he was/is an addict, and as stated, they lie.

Listen to Pepper.

It is so very rare that someone in their late 40s would pick up something like coke without having used it prior or having messed around with 'lighter' drugs behind your back. If you had she started smoking pot, I might be able to go with you on that one. But coke, heroin, crank, meth...no.

Do you seriously think that the OM sai, "C'mon baby...snort this. You'll like it."

And she said, "Ummmm...I don't know. Well, I'll try it." And that was all there was to it? Do you really not think she was around others that were glamorizing it? If she's having coke whore sex, she is wayyyyy out there. You don�t just use something like coke recreationally and have coke whore sex. Do you know what coke whore sex is? It means she�s having unprotected sex for the drug. I�ve known more than a few �coke/crank whores� and it�s horrid the stuff they will do. Coke whores are a bit worse as the drug doesn�t last near as long and is much more expensive. They�ll get their hit and not really care who they�re doing.
First is snorting and smoking, then comes shooting it.

Pepper and Kilted-
The OP said his wife "messed around" with coke in her 20's. So, she's used before. (I think it's on page 2)

Like you, I'm betting she never gave it up.

"messed around" doesn't say much, does it?