Tom, I am glad you are okay and getting the help you really need now....It was very torturous that you posted on here and the "in proper protection" thread that you were gonna end it on your birthday June 21st. You even told us the day and the post felt like it was directed at me. You posted to us and there was nothing we could do for you. We dont know who you are.

Well anyway I glad you are still on this earth....as for me this is too much. Good Luck and my prayers for you and your family.

Just apologizing to everyone here for my weakness in even wanting to try to kill myself and in that I involved any of you. I full well knew I should either stop or call someone here close but I didn't because I wanted to inflict my anger on anyone I could. I did inflict my despondency on my daughter and she was the one who intervened in call local police.

It is just damned damed hard to know that we will never share a night together again.

and I agree this is the wrong site or board for me. C did have an affair when we were initially separated. That nursing home just sucks. The contact I have is a receptionist there who told me about the presence and visiting of that guy who was there before. The counselors of of no help. The place has been cited accordiing to

at least am less apprehensive tonight because for first time in my life am now needing to take antidepressent drug and against my initial will they seem to work.

So will try to find a more appropriate site or just try to pull myself up.

Good luck finding an appropriate support forum.

Tom, I appreciate you did not leave us hanging since that last post.

Life overwhelms all of us.

Pray you get the help you need to not reach that dark place anymore.

Go back to AA. Contact your sponsor. See an IC to work on depression problems.

Contact C brother and let him be legally responsible for your wife since he seems to be the one doling out the money for her care.

If you decide to end the M becuase of the circumstances; get a D before you think of dating.

It is a lonely road but God always remains by our side.

MB, do you know something we don't? Can you please let us in on it? I was kind of thinking the same way as you but have nothing concrete.

Too much ringing false, all along. I kept reading posts that almost seemed...I dunno...baiting to me, like he was trying to get attention on his thread. When the expected posts came up, he was rude to the responder and gave high-handed "I'll pray for you"-type answers. KWIM? It was almost obstinate to me, and seemed like the goal wasn't marital advice.

The drama began when he alluded to killing himself on his birthday. Then the dramatic post of gobbledy-guck (had to spell that last part wrong - didn't make it past the censors), I'm assuming as a way of making us think he was going down for the count. Then, nothing.

What capped it for me was everyone posting out of concern until the 25th and getting no response. Then I posted suggesting that he was playing us, and he posts back 12 minutes later. Can you say "lurking"?

Then he sarcastically apologizes to everyone for his "weakness" in trying to kill himself. What the...????

My gut says What a terrible, manipulative thing if that's true.

i'm so relieved he's OK (relatively)--when we notified the mods, i had asked something like, "do we need to call someone or is this a play for attention?" and i'd been feeling horrible for even suggesting that...because what if it hadn't been a play for attention, you know? whew.

at any rate, glad Tom's moving on and getting help appropriate to his situation.

I know - and believe me, I hate being the meany to bring it out in the open for the same reason.

But it infuriates me that well-meaning posters put so much time and effort into this if it was all a game.

There is an ignore user option. I have been ignoring some users for a while. Their posts are of no significance and offer no help to anyone.

I guess more "prayers" will be going out for me today(AGAIN).

Ah, well, I always appreciate a few prayers occasionally being flung my way - I reckon it's better than being cursed.

Depends on the prayer...

tl

ITA, RN. Yeah, I was pissed at the time lost in posting and felt used. OTOH, anyone who would do that (if that is indeed the case) is doing it as a cry for help. I hope he's getting that/

Don't you guys think it might be better to just ignore him in case he is serious? I always think I don't want to be the one to say the wrong thing to a man who might be on the edge. Just saying.

maritalbliss, I guess I got jaded to this kind of stuff a long time ago. Used to get internet prayer requests that were false. Once I even got a prayer request for someone I knew -- over a year after the situation described was well over. Of course it contained false info and dates like 'last tuesday,' etc.

I pray if I feel moved (for Tom, I did) and then I let it go. It is in God's hands, and I have enough people who need my help. I can't get worked up about everything, and some things I cannot change.

I accept the possibility that everything described here is true from Tom's POV, as well as the possibility that he is playing us. The line between those two possibilities may not be as well-defined as we would like to think. Suicide is for many a desperate plea for attention.

I think much of Tom's "unruly" behavior here can be attributable to a generation gap, one which includes an unwillingness or inability to overcome on his part (many people Tom's age figure out Internet etiquette just fine; some simply do not). Throw in a few other issues he's described and the story perhaps adds up.

Or not. Who knows.

We do what we can.

In any case, I don't ever let anyone drag my emotions around based solely on an Internet post.

Oh, and mb, nothing I just said is supposed to express finding fault with you for anything. My earlier post was supposed to be more along the lines of what SmilingWoman was saying, and this one is just supposed to be more of an after-the-fact comparing notes and thoughts.

I believe that alcohol is playing a big role in Tom's postings... you can almost hear the slurring. I feel sorry for him because he seems like a very lonely man at this point in his life. No one can make him "get it" or even listen, that has to come from within him.

With that said, if he is playing us, maybe someone else who really does need help will be helped by the posts to him. I dunno, but I'm pretty certain this will be my last post on this thread. I'd rather help someone who will listen.

I didn't take it as finding fault, markos. I'm with Meggy, though - I think this thread has outlived its usefulness.

But you know what - I have learned something from it! I need to work on being a kinder, gentler person some times, and knowing when to move on (heard you on the ignore button, Scotty! ) when I see that I can't help a poster, for whatever reason.

Ditto with PM. Think Tom got overwhelmed and slid back to the bottle. That is why I suggest AA first and contacting his sponsor.

In MB the addiction has to be treated first before the R issues can be addressed.

My prayer is for him to start attending his meetings again and clear his own fog no matter what.

Tom is also sliding down a slippery slope with his friend "Tanya".

He got right lippy when someone pointed that out to him also.

I don't understand why people are so quick to get into other relationships when they are clearly NOT finished with the first one.

It's like having loose ends all over the place...or like lint from a new towel....ya know...you wash it...shake it...and the stuff just flies everywhere. You cannot even begin to pick it all up. Oh well....analogy over.

committed

I have been afraid to read any posts here because of what I did.

I am on medication and have been for last week and a half. prescriptions from the psychiatrist at the hospital and yea they did know up front almost that I have been drinking.

Char knows. I was ashamed to tell her until last sunday. To say the very least my behavior affected her and caused her to be angry and even more depressed that she even was. I know why I did this but there is no excuse. I am thankful that the meds do not allow me to get so low now. ya i told my sponsor. He took me to dinner other night and while no tongue lashing it was worse to feel his disappointment. He advised me to find some volenteer work if I feel up to it and every day AA meetings and have gone with him now for last several days. I only work part time now and my employment contract ends at end of August. Today I worked 8 hours at the chicago food bank putting cereal in bags. Tired and going to sleep in a few minutes.

I didn't think after all these year I would ever get lower that I was when I went for treatment.

I shouldn't do this but I am going to have C stay overnight on Monday...her birthday is Tuesday. I have it that we will be careful. She told me tonight she wants to and wants to be with me and I told her I wanted this so that is a start I guess.

Anyway I am probably not going to post here much for several reasons but just felt I honestly needed to update. I dont feel down like I did just deeply disappointed now in myself.

Tom