Married is married until the judge signs off on the paperwork.

It would not be fair to either of you to "talk" until after the divorce is final. That is how affairs start. Don't go down that slippery slope, especially since you are very vulnerable right now.

You need a little time to recover from your marriage.

Never you really need to listen, I know you signed the papers, I know its a "no fault" state, but either way you are still married, till is is said and done.

Even after the divorce you need to not date right away, that is something really hard that anyone can endure.

Right now you are not thinking straight, don't fall for the first girl that gives you attention. It will only make things worse for the divorce.

Has your wife got the papers yet? Have you talked with her? What if she wants to reconcile? You have already screwed up if you keep talking to this OW. You do not know what the outcome will be, so don't start anything until it is final.

PLEASE! Trust us...you will regret it in the long run, you have already gone this far...do you really want to quit and start dating?

A smart man would wait.

So just do that, this OW will understand, just tell her if she is still interested after 5 months then you will call her and see if there is anything there.

Some people, including myself, love projects, especially projects to help fix people. I suspect this woman may view you as a project. You are someone who is hurting that needs help, and I get the vibe that she wants to help you through your post divorce, but what happens after her project is over?

That is only one hypothetical case of the dangers of getting involved before you have repaired yourself. Yeah your young, but take a relationship time out before getting involved with another woman. Get the divorce, fix yourself, then look for a woman who exzudes the characteristics of a person who will build an affair proof marriage.

Besides bouncing back from a divorce into another womans arms makes you look needy.

Never,

How are things? any update?

well its been almost a month since i updated and im back for advice. I didnt take the advice I was given and had a relationship with OW while she was great and filled all my ENs certain things kind of annoyed me and then one day I just felt terrible and depressed and i missed my wife like crazy. my WW found out about the OW and said she was upset but was happy i was happy. Me and my WW started kind of talking again and next thing you know the feeling of love was back for her. She told me that she still loves me but knows we dont work so she just wants to be friends for now, i agreed and said we needed some time apart. I broke it off with OW shortly after, not to get back with my WW but because i realized i need some time off and focus on me for a while. I feel like im one of the worst MB members on the planet I didnt follow anyones advice and deffinately should of.
Well now what? WW is moved back in with her parents 1000 miles away OW is gone. Do I go back into a dark plan B or just continue to talk to her and build our love back and see where it goes?

Does it matter what we say? You didn't follow our advice before.

sugarcane, have you even read the whole post from page one, i followed all the advice except for on thing.. thanks for the help though

But that one thing was what I was referring to.

You were also advised to run far away from this 20 year-old serial cheater.

Grow up. You just committed adultery after joining a marriage forum. I have been posting to you since day one, and I second sugarcane, so get over it. Continue with your divorce and avoid other women until the ink is dry on it. No more advice for you because that's all you need (and you probably still won't listen to it).

You have no clue what it means to be married. None. Divorce. don't date til it's final. In the mean time buy and read I Promise You and Buyers, Renters and Freeloaders.

That's all I got for you.

sigh...I told you to stay away from that OW! I would get on everyday to see if you listened to me, after day 15 I guessed what you have done...and I WAS RIGHT!!

You do not have a relationship with your wife, she does not want to be married anymore she just wants to date and have fun, stay in dark plan B or get a divorce, if you won't do either of those then at least I can say "I tried." Your life will not be easy if you are not in a dark plan B or end up divorcing your wife, it will be the same until you do something about it.

What is your decision? I haven't been on for two weeks because I have been out of town, and the last time you posted was last week so I'm not even sure you'll get back on...oh-well.


Sorry that you didn't listen.

and GOOD LUCK!

well its been a looong time since i updated and pissed alot of people off on my last couple posts. But since then i ended all contacts with OW about 2 weeks after we started dating and went into no contact with my wife. I served her the divorce papers about a week ago. Ive just been keeping busy with work and doing some home projects and the pain and guilt seemed to fade a good amount, i also got on some zoloft to help with anxiety and depression. A few weeks ago I sent my WW a bouquet of flowers asking her to come home she called and thanked me for the flowers and told me her boyfriend almost dumped her because he doesnt think shes over me. So i asked her if she was over me and she said shell always love me but we just dont work. So I asked her if she was happy with her boyfriend and she said yes so thats when i told her i was happy for her went into no contact and sent out the final divorce papers to her.

Finally! Get a divorce and wait on the dating scene, I think you need time to fix yourself before jumping into a relationship.

Yea i deffinately agree. The couple weeks i dated was just awkward. So if anything good comes from that hopefully someone will read this and decide not to have a" rebound" while still married. It just made me miss my wife more. I still miss her alot and i know if she came to my house right now wanting me back i would give in in a split second. I still have this thought in my head that in a few months shell realize that her new boyfriend isn't right for her and wants to come back to me, but i know realistically that wont happen but hopefully by then im just over her completely. Im just rambling drunk right now lol

Just remember to focus on you for a bit, nothing else. Not your wife, and definitely not other woman.

You married a woman who is immature and has no good moral compass. What you will get with a woman like this over the long term....is total 100% lifetime heartache.

If you continue to stay married to her, you will find she continues to blatently cheat on you, she lives off your money and wont work, then, she gets pregnant when she boinks one or more other men, then you have to raise the other man's baby, then you have to deal with more and more of this for the rest of your short and precious life.

Please please please see the value of your self. You are worthy. And you should learn to love yourself enough to get rid of this extremely toxic woman and make sure you never ever meet or date a woman that bad again.

Why do you think this woman would make a good wife for you? Do you still think there is hope after her terrible behavior for the length of your short marriage?

Bubbles I have thought about all these things and I'm 80% sure I'll never get back with her or be with someone like her again. But its easier said than done to just forget about her and move on. It takes time and hurts and yes sometimes i do still have hope that things would work between us, but i know thats just wishful thinking, trust me I am trying to move on and work on myself for a while its just sometimes I get down and miss her. But thank you sometimes its nice to hear someone be blunt about it.

Has she been served the divorce papers yet?

Yes she has. I called her parents and she ended up picking up but she said she still hasn't mailed them back. But im going to be in WI in 2 weeks and that's where im filing so i just told her id pick them up in person