About the only thing I would change about your Plan B is a planned "Look how well I'm doing now that you're gone". Sometime when Bam is scheduled to pick up the kids, and if the OW is with him...the better...make sure you are dressed to go out, clingy dress, makeup, hair done, smelling great. Follow the kids out, lock up the house and leave behind them, start walking down the street to the bus stop, wild side of town, wherever. If you had a car available, pack a bag and put it in the trunk and leave as they are leaving.

What he doesn't know is it may just be a gym bag and you are going to work out, or walk, or you are just going to take a rid into town and back...

But what this will do for you and for him, is give him a chance to see the new bod, after all the weight loss, the toned flesh, that you are doing better without him, not just surviving, but thriving. You are moving on. And will give you a chance to let him know you are not waiting around, but enjoying life, not waiting around for him moping, waiting by the phone.

I think WS have this fantasy that they will always have the BS to come back to, that we are just waiting around for them. Why? Because we told them we would, but we are not putting our life on hold for them...

Now, do not put too much thought into this or it will hurt and withdraw love units. Just let it come naturally.

Stillhere, thanx. There were 2 "operation: olive branches" that were given in Feb and April.

Problem with your scenario is that Bampot picks up the kiddos at 9 AM every Sunday and every other Saturday. Bampot knows, through DSx2 that I am out and about and that we do A LOT of fun things. DS10 lets him know about all of the new things we get. DS10 even said that thing about "We had to go to FRIEND'S house today because Mommy was out with MAN'S NAME(personal trainer)." There was one time that Bampot called and I was sending them to bed early. DS10 said, "We have to go to bed early because of HIM. (pause) No Daddy, DS7, who else?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA gotta love it.

I am not focusing too much on those things. I do agree that I need to get out more and have fun without the kiddos. I am working on it. I really never was that kind of person, I am a home body and so was Bampot.

Hey Scottie,

I have found getting out with friends and socializing to be really therapeutic. And getting into new activities has been really enjoyable. Maybe you would have a similar response......

Glad to hear you're still doing well......

TBC

Thanx for checking in TBC. I know that I need to get out more. I just like to chill out at home and read on the computer.

I was out at Marineland all day today with the kiddos school. I really haven't even been home for more than 2 hours a day(other than sleeping) in almost 2 weeks. The kiddos will be done school for the summer on Tuesday. Still need to get things done. Then I will have to entertain 2 kiddos while I am not working/working out. THis should be an interesting summer.

I know I will have MB to fall back on and for that I am GRATEFUL.

Hey Scottie,

Yeah, that puke-o-la is hard, but keep in mind that even once the wayward returns to the marriage to work on Recovery, the fog doesn't immediately disperse. In fact, I get a bit "leary" when it does. It usually takes at least as much time to leave as it did to come, generally about a year. So, just think of this time with your mom as a "practice" run for if/when Bampot returns....

As far as your "thoughts" in Plan B and the "what-ifs"....NORMAL....when that happens, go scrub the toilets....its better use of your mental energy.....



Not

At least those that carried out a solid MB Plan can say we did EVERYTHING we did to save our M. I gives us a small amount of comfort.

At least we find peace in ourselves unlike the waywards who only search for their "happiness" by any means necessary despite the collateral damage.

Ill take peace most of the time with spots of surprise happiness any day.

Video Valium

Momma and babies playing in sprinkler

http://173.192.209.77/videos43ll/d46cc150e8872df17b2754d882d107f4_moose.flv.mp4

Well, today I saw Bampot and WF. Didn't really mean to. I was walking Scooch and right at the corner of my street, a friend stopped to talk to me. I didn't realize what time it was. Bampot drove by, with WF in the passenger seat. My stomach sank. I walked the rest of the way to the house. DSx2 got out of the car and so did Bampot. He quickly hugged the kiddos and then he looked over, saw me and put his head down. I was walking up behind the car, so I couldn't see WF. I was giving the "stink eye" into her mirror though. They drove away before I got to the car. Well, close encounter of the wayturd kind sucks. I almost had one yesterday too. I missed the bus(it drove past me when I was about 1/2 a block away from the stop, and they WON'T wait). I went to call someone for a ride and my cell phone was dead. There isn't a payphone anywhere on my way home so I walked. I booked it and made it home at 633pm. Bampot dropped off DSx2 at 638pm.

Stillhere, it wasn't the way you wanted, but it was a "sighting." So unintended. I will not do that again. The only reason I was walking scooch before Bampot came was because DS10 was sick yesterday and today and he would only lay down. Scooch needed a walk, since she didn't get one yesterday either.

What an adorable video.

Scotty,

This is my first time to post on your thread and I want to say thanks for all your help toward me even though you are in your own plan B.

I've found that I struggle more when I sit at my house as I'm a homebody also. I just like to clean-up, read, get on my computer, etc. Lately, I think more about WH instead of keeping busy around the house.

I feel so much better when I get out of the house and have an agenda or go visit a friend.

Thanks for all your support.

I hope she felt every bit of it.

I'm not surprised he put his head down...you have acted with grace and honor while he....we you know.

Scotland, this is my first time posting on your thread, but i've read it (mostly) from the beginning--i'm so...favorably impressed with you!

you've style and grace to spare, and you're a fabulous, FABULOUS mom. you're sweet, clever, candid, honorable, determined, and utterly charming. your husband, [censored] that he currently is, would suffer a great loss if he ever gave you up, and i respect you even more for KNOWING that.

you're a brilliant wife and mom and an admirable woman in general. plus, as you've no doubt heard, an inspiration to us all. cheering avidly for you, Scotland!

best regards,
RemainNameless

Thanx for your support.

HopeE, I "get" what you are saying and I am really trying to change it. I need to get "out" and do more without the kiddos. This is especially going to be true after Tuesday(when they get off of school, I will MOST DEFINITELY need some "ME time."

I need to find things in my life that makes me feel joy(other than raising my kiddos, since soon enough, they will move out). Still trying to figure out what I want to be when I "grow up." I am at the age that when I go back to school, I want to go to school once and LOVE what I am doing.

There is still real room for improvement in me, and I am willing to do the work. It brings me JOY to learn how to be a better person and these MB concepts CAN translate to other people in my life. People around me are noticing. Improvements physically and in ME. I get compliments all of the time. Saddest thing I can say about that, is that there is really only ONE person I wish was telling me those things. Ahhhh. I WILL get better.

ugh, I can't even imagine being in any proximity to WF.... ugh, just thinking about it makes me wanna .

You are an amazingly strong woman, Scotty. I really look up to you.

I have met her face to face twice before DDay of the PA and believe me, THAT was time of real restraint. I am trying to make WF NOT matter to me. I have read on other people's threads that if there is ever accidental encounters of the wayturd kind, that I am to act "nice" to Bampot and treat WF like she doesn't exist and that she means NOTHING. I have been practicing my "stink eye" look that I reserve just for WF.

Best every F2F meeting between a BW and OW I ever read here on MB was one where the BW just looked the OW up and down and then... just dismissed her as though she didn't exist.

I woulda done that had I not been about 4 houses away and only seeing the back of the car. I wish I would have looked into the car and given her a real dismissive look. I was going to say, "next time," but I really hope that there will NEVER be a next time. If there is, I WILL be prepared.

I thought about it last night when I was in bed. I shoulda blew a kiss. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Now THAT would have been something. HEHEHEHEHE

I know the economy stinks right now, but look into your public library and other community activities for kids. Quite a lot of programs for the community have been cut around here right now, but there still are a few available.

Summer workshops/camp/activites are usually low cost- (well can be low cost). Best thing yet is that they can last a few weeks or more, and that gives kids something to look forward to.

How about dog training classes? This can be way fun, and the pup benefits.

Hmmmmmm, good ideas. Thanx Barbiecat.