No, I don't think she will. Her sister is on my side on this and knows she's acting crazy.

Oh I ABSOLUTELY know it was wrong and have expressed sincere remorse. When she brings it up now as an 'excuse' I always say it was completely wrong and then continue with the MB method of trying to move forward.

She was looking at his FB page on her own with her secret account. Of course, I know she's thinking of him and every wayward does...it's the drug they desire. But, yes, I'm going to keep snooping and keep it vague.

How do I confront her with it without her knowing how?

You DONT confront her, just get enough evidence that she is still in contact with the OM then do a NUCLEAR EXPOSURE.....not this trickle, that wont help you.

You will eventually let her know that YOU know that there is a secret email and FB account. You will do it in a way that she doesn't know how you know. The vets will help you with that when it is time. First, you will need to follow the MB plans to a T.

Well, I could be wrong but some of you statements above don't sound like you're completely accepting responsibility.

--ElCamino72

Sure, I know what you mean. I do accept full responsibility indeed. It was completely wrong and no 2 ways about that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it never went to the level of what I'm seeing her say to this guy...that she loves him, etc. I honestly wish she had done then what I'm doing now...it would've worked.

Either way, she contacted him again this morning on her secret FB account and lied directly to me about it when I asked her in an indirect way. She doesn't know that I know about these things and I won't tell her. But, she'll get the hint.

I'm going to confront him again today and warn him again to stop contacting my wife and that I'll tell his place of employment (a place where I frequently spend my hard earned money) that one of their employees is interfering with customers' relationships. I still need a few days more worth of evidence before I do a large-scale exposure.

I could go on and on about what happened this weekend, but don't have time to do much typing at the moment.

IMO, you already have enough evidence. Don't wait. You don't know what could happen in the next few days. Time is of the essence.

WW will keep falling deeper in the A if you don't take action. You have to do what's necessary to kill the affair NOW. Why take chances? C'mon man, don't let OM boink your wife.

Exposure is proven to be the best tool to combat the A. Don't hesitate. GO NUCLEAR ASAP.

Again, can you post a potential plan for exposure?

Be strong. You can do it.

--ElCamino72

AGREE!!

After my husband exposed my A on facebook! So it was nuclear! It killed it dead!

I wouldn't wait either, she broke that nc, that is more then evidence to expose!

And if he is still contacting your wife, tell his officer, you have already warned him, why warn him again? That is an oxymoron if you think about it.

GOOD LUCK!

so where can I find some good exposure letters? I searched but didn't see any.

Here's some things from the newly betrayed thread that I started. Use what is best for your sitch.

This is for the exposure to the workplace.

Quote:
A sample exposure letter, written by Brit's Brat, a MB member and corporate attorney:

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,

BS


Schoolbus wrote this one.

Originally Posted By: schoolbus
You want to say something to your friends and family like:

"I have discovered that my H is having an affair with OW. I want for him to stop his affair because I love him and want our marriage to be restored. Our marriage CAN recover from this affair, and I am prepared to forgive him and work on the problems and issues we have, but we can't until he completely rids our lives of his affair partner. I thought our marriage was a good marriage until the affair began, but I now recognize that we need to do some work on it. Please do what you can to discourage this infidelity - please help me and our children to maintain an intact family. Please don't allow the OW into your home, and please encourage my husband to come home and work on our marriage. We can rebuild our marriage."


This is the letter that MelodyLane suggests sending to Facebook friends of the affair partner.
Originally Posted By: MelodyLane
Here is a good letter for you to use [modify as you see fit] to send out to OW's facebook friends:

Dear friend of Skankyhola,

It grieves me to write this letter but I believe all of her friends should be aware that Skanky is having an affair with my husband, Joe. They have been having this affair since October according to the evidence. We have been married for XX years and have 3 children, aged 5,7, and 12. They are heartbroken about their fathers affair.

I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks.

I am asking that you use your influence with Skanky to persuade her to leave my husband alone. You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify her parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.
Thank you, BW


These are also exposure targets.
Originally Posted By: MelodyLane
1. employer(if workplace affair or if employer is someone who can put pressure on, ie.Military)
2. AP's spouse(even an EX)
3. OP's facebook friends(write down their friends lit before you start exposing)
4. the OP's parents and family
5. your WS's family
6. any other close family and friends
7. your PASTOR(if you have one)
8. YOUR CHILDREN <----VERY IMPORTANT and to be done age appropriately
9. your parents and family(you need the support)

Employer should be exposed to via LETTER with a cc on it. The cc is important because no one is tempted to deep six the letter. Send the letter certified to Human Resources and cc the President, Vice president and Corporate Lawyer.

CALL the OP's parents, give them the facts and ask them to use their influence to persuade their son/daughter to leave your WS alone. Let them know if this comes to divorce that you will be suing on grounds of adultery and will have the OW called into court to give testimony under oath.

One by one, call the other family members and friends and pastor. Tell them about the affair and ask for their advice.

WATCH OUT: If someone says "ok, I will keep this a secret!!" Tell them nonono!!! Affairs thrive on secrecy so that is the worst thing they can do!

Email the OP's facebook friends using the template letter I gave you.

Then sit down your children and tell them about their parent's adultery and with whom. give them the OP's FULL NAME so they will know who the enemy is.

Thanks Scotty...that's the one I was looking for.

Well, we just had a devastating conversation. She's talking about killing herself, she has no love for me at all, will never have emotion for me, will cheat again, etc. Her sister revealed that I had sent her transcripts of her chat with the OM and WW said that showed her I have absolutely no respect for her. I told her that I only did it to fight for our marriage and because I love her, but she didn't want to hear any of it.

She said "I win" because last night she was talking about leaving and I told her I know she's still lying to me and that I wouldn't endorse her taking our son out of his home, his school, his friendships, and family because she wanted to run away. So, according to her, she's going to stay in this relationship only for our son but she has nothing for me.

Kept bringing up that I'm forcing her to stay, controlling her, etc. I keep reiterrating that I'm not forcing her to do anything and it's her EA that put her in this situation which I'm fighting to save.

I still plan on trying to fill her EN..... Where do I go from here??????????????????

Is there NC? If yes:

Then ignore WW fog babble and continue to plan A her.

According to our very rough conversation and I just saw she sent him another Facebook message (which I can't read because it's in another language) but she said she's going to cut off any and all contact for our son, because she doesn't want to lose him. I will still monitor it however and believe it when I see it. I will also confront him again just to drive the point home.

Otherwise, what if contact continues, then what?

Your doing exactly what you should be.

Here are the GOOD points.
Your fighting the A.
She is staying in the house
She is talking to you about things even if it is how pissed she is.

It may seem bad but it will get better. If you keep enforcing NC she will start showing you cracks that you can exploit. For now help her with the kids. Load the dishes and clothes washer. Dress nice. Work out. Offer to make dinner for the family.

Its hard but your biggest friend here is time. It took you a long time to get here. You cant fix it in a week. Just keep your head up and DONT LET HER BAIT YOU INTO LBing.

LBers are things YOU can avoid. They will do HUGE damage atm.

Have you exposed this to the OM work yet? If not WHY??

This is fog babble. She is staying, not leaving. That is the point to take away from this point.

I know because those are the same words my WH told me: "I am only staying for my son's sake" That was only the fog, once it lifted some the true reasons began to emerge.

Keep fighting the A. You are doing a good job!

I confronted the OM again today and told him again to stop contacting her. He lied, waffled, etc, and said he's finished and won't do it again and that he's tired of it, etc. Basically, it seems like he's giving up.

She said she's giving up contacting him, as well, but I'll believe it when I see it.

She just called me and said she doesn't want me to contact talk to her at all even at home, because she saw an email I wrote to her sister telling her about our conversation and that makes her angry. I talked to her sister again and we are 100% on the same page. But, WS said everytime she sees something like this that I'm only making it worse.

With that, I was just home for lunch and we didn't say much but she is fuming. I asked her if she wanted anything, made my son lunch and sat with him for a bit, washed the dishes then left back for work. I told her to have a good day and hope she feels better.

It does indeed seem bad, but I have hope.

the store he works at he works alone as the manager, per se. When I confronted him today I told him I will tell his boss (and I know who/where he is) and he would be sent back to his country.

Thing is, they are all basically kind of related and have strong cultural ties (they're all from Syria and Lebanon), so my threats and or actual actions may do nothing, but I will still make the attempt.

Of course she is angry, you are taking away her favorite forbidden toy! Just think of this as a temper-tantrum like your son may pitch if you took his toys away.