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Why dont' WW, WH, OW, and OM use birth control?
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Caught up in the moment? Selfishness? Stupidity? Who knows?
I can tell you that when I had my A I did use BC and then some. I did not want to get pregnant and I did not want to risk an STD. No that doesn't qualify me for a prize, I still did a horrid thing that I will regret for the rest of my life.
In the case of the OC's mom in my world...I truly believe she did get pregnant on purpose. When my H ended the A the first time it was because of our COM. She used the weapon she was certain would work.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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they don't???
waaaait a minute, is this a "how many OPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb" kind of thing?
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Why the OW can't get pregnant didn't you know that? Why, who knows but they said it so it must be true. They would not lie to them.
BW-me-56
FWH-GreenMile-62
Married 1982
2 wonderful grown sons
D Day #1 4/1985
D Day #2 10/03/08
D Days continued for a while.
Started real recovery 07/15/10
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It's that wondrous moment of discovery, that minute of encapsulation, the time of intertwining, that awe-inspiring, earth-shattering time when two become one; a force field of lust and proverbial heat...the supreme moment of bliss squared, over and over..and then:
"Oh baby - do you have 'something'?"
"No, sorry - I used the last one with my other OW"
Buzz kill.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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RN,
good question
"how many OPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb"
One, but it takes the pastor, the IC, the MC, an extended family, a mountain of cash and two lawyers to unscrew the bulb.
Or
None, they prefer the dark.
Or
One, but they keep replacing the dead bulbs with more dead bulbs.
Or
One, but I would replace my wifes bulb if only she understood me the way you do.
Gamma
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Why dont' WW, WH, OW, and OM use birth control? Probably the same reason drunk drivers don't use their blinkers.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Why dont' WW, WH, OW, and OM use birth control? Probably the same reason drunk drivers don't use their blinkers. Outstanding. You and Gamma brought your "A" game today! 
Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS
Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
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OW in my case actually wanted to get pregnant with WH's child  I mean for god sakes this woman had already lost custody of 2 of her 3 kids. (The third child was born to a father who did not want his son, so there was no custody issue there) Come on! Thankfully WH did use BC and she did not get pregnant. Her constant talk of that and that our son would still love him when he left us helped to drive him out of his fog. THANK GOD!!!!!
Me - BS Him - WS Discovery 3/26/10 NC letter mailed 5/27/10 NC letter recieved 5/29/10 My Thread Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D
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Why the OW can't get pregnant didn't you know that? Why, who knows but they said it so it must be true. They would not lie to them. Hmmmm that's what the OW in my sitch said. Let's see if she is RIGHT. HAHAHA BTW, I am NOT holding my breath.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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It could be that the WH has told OW that he is sterile. That's the line my DH used on me (the mother of his four children) when we first got together.  I don't know what was discussed between my FWH and his OW about BC, but I know they did not use any protection. I thank God there were no OC or STDs as a result.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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My wife while fogged out told me that if she got pregnant "she would just have an abortion".
This from a Christian who 1 month previous was 100% pro-life.
BH: 46
FWW: 44
3 DD: 20,17,11
Married 24 years
PA/EA: 5/08
DDay: 6/08
NC: 8/08
Previous EA 1998 confessed 8/08
In Recovery
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this is theoretical; i always assumed all WSs DID use protection. --maybe the wayward spouse doesn't want to PROVIDE pro-phyl-ac-tics because it requires them to admit that they are making a conscious decision: "i'd better buy some condoms, because i plan to commit adultery tonight."
there goes your "caught up in the moment" defense. it makes you admit to yourself that you are DECIDING to cheat.
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GREAT ONE BABE!! ROFL!!! And to answer the question for this thread... Because Waywards are SELFISH!! They don't think!
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The I got "caught up in the moment" and "it was not planned" are very popular excuses for WS to use. I know a WW who swears she only had unprotected sex with her OM one time. They had allegedly ended the relationship and decided to meet in person one last time to give their relationship "closure". The 2 morons did not plan to have sex. They just wanted to shake hands and wish each other well like any other adulterous couple. She was shocked when she found out later on she was pregnant. How can anyone be shocked at getting pregnant when you had unprotected sex?
You would think that being involved in an affair the least the cheaters could do was take precautions. At times I think teenagers are more responsible with BC than waywards.
Last edited by tiaga; 07/02/10 12:23 PM.
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I have a list of possible reasons....some of which applied to me 4 years ago
1. They are idiots
2. They sustained a serious head injury
3. They have magic beans which they eat with breakfast every morning before riding their unicorn to work.
4. Planning ahead would mean they planned ahead, even though they ALL plan ahead whether they admit it or not
5. They thought it would be more "romantic" (please pause at this point to vomit and utter various profanities)
6. They are idiots - wait, did I already say that one
7. They had their tubes tied so this made them know it was "safe" to rip their marriage and family to shreds for a few shallow "thrills"
8. They were left behind as children before No Child Left Behind was drafted
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However I have been diappointed with the answers there because rather then shed light into the thought process they were use as a chance to throw digs at the cheaters. Is it possible to shed light on the thought processes of something that most of us just do not and cannot understand?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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However I have been diappointed with the answers there because rather then shed light into the thought process they were use as a chance to throw digs at the cheaters. Is it possible to shed light on the thought processes of something that most of us just do not and cannot understand? TheRoad I did not see where you replied with disappointment. Yes there are some jokes but it seems to me that many of the reasons we were given when looked at from the non-foggy side seem very much like a joke. GM spent 6 years doing a hooker/mistress without protection. She told him she could not get pregnant and he believed her even though she would never tell him why, even after they professed their love for one another she would not share that with him. She also told him that she would not hook anymore since she had him. I don't think that explains the lovely STD he gave me unless he was seeing others. Not possible for him because this was the love of his life, the one he was faithful to. So, what here does not sound like a joke when said through the lips of a doctor who of all people should know better?
BW-me-56
FWH-GreenMile-62
Married 1982
2 wonderful grown sons
D Day #1 4/1985
D Day #2 10/03/08
D Days continued for a while.
Started real recovery 07/15/10
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My FWW actually hinted to the OM that he didn't have to used condoms because she was "on the pill".
When I asked her "what about STDs?", it was apparent from her expression that the thought of STDs never crossed her mind. I told her then that I do hope she had not contracted HIV because of her behaviour, because it would be likely then that I'd have caught it from her because we continued to have SF during her A, so imagine what the future would be like for our kids.
How could WWs be so cunning and so clueless at the very same time???
ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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