Well .... I suppose this means that without HIM .... the vacation was d!ckless.

You can say that again, sister. It's been a long time!!!

You could have set up a pic of him in a frame and put candles in front with a sign "RIP"...

never mind d*kless, they are gutless

HH .... good for you! You are so much stronger now than you were. I can totally relate. When people ask how I'm doing I can honestly say that I'm a much better person today than I was a few years ago, even though I would NOT have chosen this path to get there.

So instead of a "Thanks for taking DD to college AND incurring costs for air fair, hotel, rental car, dorm supplies, books, etc." I get a text saying that I need to notify a BANKRUPTCY lawyer and a number to call. D!ck says he met with this guy last week and he's filing this week.

Hummmm... I sent a "I'm proud of you!!!" response because what else can I say? D!ck's trying yet another tactic to stall the D. Not stall as in he wants to get back with me, but stall as in "I refuse to pay HH a penny!"

He's bluffing. I truly believe that. He's huffing and puffing because we go to court again on Thursday and this D isn't done. And Bimbo is pressuring him. She actually sent me a text last week in response to one I sent D!ck.

She's meaner and more desperate than ever. Tried to belittle me saying I need to put my "big grandma panties on" and calling me a "hag." Does this hurt my feelings? NOT ONE BIT considering the source. And boy, oh, boy -- did I need to hold back from saying....

At least I WEAR panties unlike you in that va jay jay text photo. Honey, try touching up your fingernail polish next time. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

HAAAAAA.

But I didn't. I text D!ck about what a whimp he is letting his wh0re fight his battles for him.

I stooped low. Oh, well.... I'm entitled. I'm in Plan F-U. And D!ck broke his promise to DD to help pay for college.

And now the BK threat. Go ahead and commit career suicide, Mr. Banker. I'd LOOOOVE to have you manage my money. What a loser!!!!I

They are both big LOSERS !!!...What the hell..she has a nerve texting you and calling you names...buuuttttt, all I think when I hear this is that, She aint to happy if she feels the need to belittle you, hahahaha...but next time try not to text anything back to WH, it just shows her that it bothers you. I know its hard though (I prolly would have just texted the actual FU to WH).

What happens if he does BK? He'll be scot-free...or he thinks so anyway.

It's like he's having a BK fantasy. 'If I BK Holy will go away!!!'

And I think you are entitled to be in Plan FU....

Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.

Bankruptcy won't do much for him, except STALL the divorce! Yup, once he files, you can file a "Suggestion of Bankruptcy" with the clerk and the case AUTOMATICALLY goes on hold until his bankruptcy is resolved. Surely the lawyer he consulted with told him that. It won't make the obligations he is ordered to pay in the divorce go away either because there will be no orders until AFTER the bankruptcy. What a doufus.

I checked two of his credit cards. He paid one off in full last week -- $2600. And he made a large purchase at Home Depot on Sunday in the $1300 range.

Doesn't this come out in a bankruptcy? That he's spending on frivilous stuff and NOT on his family but to ride on his tramp-o-line? I should have a chance to state my case and show the court how his debt is a result of a third party. Heck -- her name is on most of the credit cards while mine is on NONE.

He's a freakin banker. His best buddy is our accountant. I'm sure this bankruptcy lawyer is on the take. And he's a poker player meaning he's willing to bluff.

Back to the credit card -- why pay it off if you want it to be discharged? And wouldn't the first step to be a forebearance or whatever with the bank to try and get house and loan payments reduced? As far as I can tell, he has not missed or even been late on ONE payment. Granted -- some are "interest only", but it's not like the note is due.

He's trying whatever tactics he can to get me to go away. And where would I go? And accepting a pitiful offer gets me no where. He'd still have the debt.

So should I just say "bring it" and go along for the ride? I, too, can play his kind of poker.

He is bluffing with a "pair" while you are holding a royal flush.

He is waiting for you to cave not realizing he is the one in the quick sand.

I don't think the BKRPTCY court would care so much that he's not spending the money on his family, but that he's spending the money at all! Especially since he's putting it on a credit card knowing full well that he intends to file bankruptcy. That is one of the questions he will be asked on the bankruptcy paperwork-- about any large expenditures in the period immediately prior to filing bankruptcy. If he's not careful, he could find himself in some very hot water-- possibly criminal hot water.

I'd say... BRING IT ON!

What do you suggest I do, PM?

Do I call this lawyer and ask what's going on? Have my lawyer call on my behalf? Or just sit back and watch?

We have court on Thursday. And D!ck is a proven liar, so his threat may just be a threat.

But if it's not a threat...

I have the bulk of the kids' savings money in my account to keep D!ck from taking. He loaned out a chunk of their money to a friend which I discovered after the fact. He since repaid the money, and I put in my individual account to safeguard. Should I give the money back to the kids now -- before anything is filed? Hate to give the appearance that I'm hiding or transfering cash -- but seriously -- it's the kids' money.

And as for spending? In the past few months, he's spent another $17,000 paying off credit cards yet refuses to pay anything but "interest only" on all the lines of credit he exhausted. My fear is that he cashed out one of his retirement accounts. He has been ordered to show an accounting of where all his retirement money is but hasn't for the last two court appearances. And my wieny lawyer is afraid to demand this. Matter of fact, we don't really know what D!ck is making on his new job nor what he was given when he left the old job. We have no pay stubs. No final check pay stub. Not even a 2009 tax return.

I know, I know -- tell my lawyer to "man up" or find a replacement. Easier said then done.

And what is the definition for "large expenditures"? I know he bought Bimbo an engagement ring. And it's not showing up on the two credit cards I monitor. He either paid cash -- which I doubt -- or it's on one of his newer credit cards.

Won't the court look at all his credit card spending?

And if he ends up in a cell with a cellmate that ACTS like Bimbo but is named Bob -- I'D LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Holy, I would sit back and wait to see if he really does file for BK. Actually, bankruptcies are a matter of public record and it would be easy to find out. I'm not up to speed on BK law but I would think since you guys are currently married, and there is a pending civil suit (the divorce), that he won't be allowed to file just yet. You COULD ask your attorney at least that question.

Who is paying your attorney? Is he going to try and recover his fees from your WH? It may be in HIS best interest to get to the bottom of this before WH is allowed to file and avoid any judgment in the divorce. I can't see a BK atty telling your WH to file NOW. He may have told him to wait until after there's a judgment issued and THEN file. You should probably give your attorney a heads-up that this may be his strategy.

The Court will most definitely look at all his credit card spending! Didn't you hear about one of the Housewives of New Jersey who recently got in trouble for allegedly lying in her BK? (Not a joke.)

And my attorney is paid up for now. We are asking for WH to pay all attorney fees though, and the way this D is going, it will cost much, much more.

I will give my attorney a heads up.... and lay low in the meantime.

My atty fees were almost $50K because XWH would not settle. I certainly hope you don't get to that level. Wiped out my 401K to pay for it....

Holy,

I want to first qualify that I am not an attorney, nor do I play one on TV. My WH and I have had to file for bankruptcy due to the most part a failed business. We are in Chapter 13, wherein we have to pay over all our disposable income for five years.

Based on this experience, I can share that we did not have to show what made up individual credit card balances, only a statement that showed the current balance. Almost all of our debt was joint, the business and the credit cards. Thus, even though it was my WH's business, we were both responsible for the debt. Are the credit cards you are referring to in both of your names or just his?

I would also check with your lawyer in regards to past due child support and alimony. This type of debt is priority debt and must be paid and current. It cannot go under the bankruptcy, Chapter 7 or Chapter 13.

Since your divorce isn't final, you will need advice on how his filing affects your credit. Lastly, if he does file, he does have to show his tax returns and his pay stubs. If he doesn't, the case does not proceed. Even though there are some differences between the individual states, the mechanism of Bankruptcy is overseen by Federal judges and Trustees. And believe me, they do not mess around or provide second chances for request for information, or anything really.

All the best,

ba

So, what happened at court on Thursday? Anything?

The laws may be different in your state, but for me once I'd filed for legal separation I was no longer legally responsible for WH's wild spending. But then, I also cancelled everything that was jointly held and took him off auto insurance at lawyer's advice. Ask your lawyer what your financial responsibility is for his actions since you filed.

Yeah, what happened?