I hope this is an appropriate place for me to ask this question that has been bothering me. Didnt know where else to go for an answer. There is a prominent church leader in my church that had an ongoing affair with another church member. This was all made public to the church body recently and forgiveness was asked for,etc. Both parties have families in the church, both immediate and extended. The church leader has stepped down from his position, but both parties continue to go to the church and in fact are acting as if they and their familes have forgiven one another, one big happy family , etc.
Something seems very wrong/fake ......I know that Christians have within them an amazing capacity to forgive their enemies, those that hurt them-we are called to that. However, any Christian counselors and pastors that I have ever heard recommend not seeing the partner anymore after affair is out in the open. Agin this situation just seems wrong and makes me uncomfortable as a fellow church member. Any advice or thoughts?

This is a disaster in the making. If all parties can forgive, that's good; but, forgiveness does not mean one has to associate with the offenders anymore. In the case of an affair, there should be absolutely NO contact whatsoever. I expect that the affair will start right back up, IF it ever stopped in the first place. I totally agree with you.

I suspect you are feeling awkward because you have basically been manipulated into accepting the A, which goes against everything you (rightly) believe.

I suppose you could talk to your pastor about this, but I wonder if their active membership in the church swayed him from suggesting that they find other places to worship?

I would change churches. It would upset my own peace, serenity and personal R with God thinking about that each week.

You can't control their actions, we can only set our own boundaries.

Find a new place of worship!

I attended a church once where one of the female worship leaders (married with three precious children) was asked to step down for awhile because she was going through a divorce-- a sudden, unexplained divorced no less. We all thought it was kind of weird, and nothing else was explained to us, but we all just chalked it up to NOOB (this was prior to my MB education).

A few months later, the pastor announced that the next week would be our last service as a church. Talk about throwing a stick of dynamite! People were CRUSHED! (Me included!)

I betcha the smart MB people have already figured out where this is going....

Yup, it came out later that this same worship leader was having an affair with the pastor.

This was about ten years ago.

This past Sunday we found out that our old pastor is holding home meetings in his home with a lot of the old people. My husband decided to go and check it out-- mainly out of curiosity. Guess who was leading the service? You guessed it. Former worship leader-- in HIS home where he still lives with his wife.

Any guesses how this saga will end?

Oh my! I have no words its amazing what Christians can convince themselves is okay "in the name of the Lord".................sad

I have a friend who had a LT affair (8 yrs) with a catholic priest. During that time, he was giving confession to sinners. Makes me sick.

I have been to two churches where one of the staff members was having an affair. In both cases, the staff member publicly apologized, stepped down, and left the church. The OW in both scenarios both ended up leaving each of the churches as well.

The staff member who was broken and repentant took some time out of ministry to heal his family, got some Biblical counseling, and two years later went back to church work. The staff member who had to be almost threatened into resigning became a teacher at a community college and continued to grope and hit on women (this was the "family friend" who molested me during voice lessons).

Continuing to all go to church together is ridiculous.