I confessed to a 6+ month affair last night to my husband. He is a wreck about it, rightfully so. My trust is in God to heal us, but I know this is out of my control. I need to cling to my faith in God right now more than I have ever before in my life. I would appreciate any support you can offer me through this, positive uplifting quotes or scripture, etc.

"He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy." (Proverbs 28:13)

First, let me say that I am so glad that you confessed. This is so important. I had an A in 2006, and confession is hard, but it has to be done.

I also like the verse you posted. When you confessed, did you take full responsibility for your own choices? That is also important. Also complete transparency.

I would recommend getting the book Surviving an Affair, and reading everything you can on this site. My DH was wrecked too. It's a long process, and emotions go up and down and sideways. But a marriage CAN be restored.

I wanted to say one other thing. I read so many posts here from spouses who have cheated where they spend three or four paragraphs talking about how bad their marriage was or what is wrong with their spouse. They call it "background." Then they spend maybe three or four sentences talking about their affair. I applaud you for just taking responsibility without having to qualify it or paint some big distracting picture.

You are on the right path now.

Keep reading here to learn more.

How did you meet the OM?

Is there NC?

Did you send a NC letter?

Do you know how?

I am not familiar with these abbreviations. What does OM and NC stand for? Please tell me about the NC letter, too.

There is a link on here somewhere to the abbreviations, but OM is the Other Man (your affair partner) and NC is No Contact. Have you ceased all contact with your affair partner and written him a letter (which your husband should read and approve before sending) informing him that you are going to work on your marriage and that you will no longer have any contact with him for life? This is an imperative first step if you hope to recover your marriage.

Link to abbreviations

Redeem Me,
Why is it that you want to save your marriage?

God is not going to just zap you into an uplifted state.
What He may do is lay some tools at your feet, with which you and your husband can repair your marriage & make it stronger -- if that is what you want, and if you are willing to dig into your thoughts, emotions & conduct and discover for yourself how & why you got yourself to this fork in life's road.

If you do nothing else, order "Surviving an Affair" today and start reading it, preferably with your husband if he feels up to it.

Re: your husband being a wreck, rightfully so indeed. The one person who swore to protect him, the one he most expected to "have his back," has just taken his heart & ripped it out & spiked it into the dirt by having an affair. (Just like I did to my wife. My confession date was 18 months + 2 days ago.) You'd better give him a lot of slack.

Stick around this board, ask questions, and answer the ones you're asked, and it might help you & your husband come back from this. Tell us how you got here. There are some of us who have been in your shoes, and many more who have been in your husband's shoes.

I am a husband that still feels destroyed by my wayward wife's affair. I want to tell you that God has already redeemed you. I have tremendous empathy for you and your husband both. I am sorry for you both. I promise you that I will pray for you and your husband everyday for the next thirty days. Perhaps more. The advice to read everything here is very important. I somehow feel that you will one day be a shining light (along with your husband) to others. I cannot tell you why I am struck with that feeling. I almost never post. Something tells me to write to you. Just remember that your husband is a human being and he will not have the same capacity as God to address your actions with forgiveness. It will be a long process filled with ups and downs and all of the human frailties. I myself feel so weak some days and so worthless others and often incapable of forgiveness - I felt mental pain that drove me within inches of ending my life (God came along and brought a policeman who stopped me in my car when I had hundreds of pills ready to be taken and was preparing to park in a desolate area at night).
I have never told anyone on this board about that event. I was that far gone.
Please get help for your self and your husband. Neither of you should completely go it alone. I know that the prayers given for me from this board are why that policeman stopped me in my car that night. He had no reason to be there and it was not his normal patrol route. He just decided to drive through it that evening.
God will be there for you and your husband. Please protect him from himself. There will come a day when you too will feel your husband's pain for yourself. Not just see it but feel it. It is different than guilt. It will be a blessing in deep disguise but it will not fell like it. And you will need support to.
This is an infidelity board. Sometimes there is anger displayed on it because many of us have experienced the pain of a wayward spouse. You might run into some posters who show you it. It might not feel good to read it. Don't give up. Stay with the experts on this board. You will see who they are very quickly. Write what you are experiencing and what you think you are learning. Some of us like myself almost never post. But we learn from every word posted.
I would so gladly have had my wayward wife admit her A rather than me figuring it out on my own. You are miles ahead in that department and one last comment Redeem Me...
There is always hope.
Blessings on you and your husband's future.
We cannot change the past.
Listen to the experts here. I am just a...

hurtingturkey

I am so happy you have taken responsibility for your affair yourself, I think you understand that what you did has torn your husband's world apart. The trust he had in you is gone, the belief in who you were as a person has been destroyed.
He at this point cannot understand what you have done.....
I never understand why people have affairs and then say this isn't what I want, please forgive me after I destroy everything we have.....what was the point in the first place....I am a BS as well........to feel all the pain I have felt and for what?
You are the one now that needs to show remorse and to change everything you do and say so your husband can again believe in you and your commitment to your marriage......you need to give him total transparency to your communication and whereabouts from now on, forever if that is what it will take,
Your contact with the OM has to be over, he will not be able to live with any contact what so ever.......
That will just be like finding out over and over again each time you let that happen...
With all the right things in place and your effort to see the mess you have created and your patience with him as he works through all his pain will tell if you have a shot at fixing and forgiving.
Now is the time to be strong and respect and give the best of you to your husband, he deserves this.........

Two Days Later:

For those of you who have been in my position, having to fess up to grave errors, I know you will understand when I say that I'm in the "post-vomit stage" of this process. Similar to when you are physically ill and experience pain leading up to the purging, you feel a sense of relief yet sickness following. That is where I am at right now. I released the burden of keeping this affair secret, but I feel ill still.

My sweet, loving, kind husband was blindsided by what I shared with him. He is a man of incredible integrity. How could I betray him like this? How could I have been so selfish? Why didn't I go about trying to fix things in our relationship prior to letting myself enter into another relationship? It's a battle and I continue to cling to God, who I know will provide the strength I need through this process.

I've been listening to Christian music again. This song is one of my favorites:



I also like this song because it reminds me that no man is going to give me the fulfilling love that I seek. God is the only one who can provide that, and my heart is genuinely seeking His will for the first time in my life: