How do you keep from losing it? You keep your mind focused on YOUR next move.

Look at this as a war. You have a plan to sink their A dead in the water. Take solace in knowing that. Stick to the plan, and focus on your next move. Drown out the fogbabble. (there will be lots until she NCs and goes through withdrawl)

Expose! Just focus on that right now. Drown out everything else and focus!

You're wasting time with this. The man is reacting as someone who has already been throught his before, since he was a BH in his first marriage. I'd have my stuff together a lot better if I went through this a second time with a different wife.

tl, ignore this.

help,

he'll be in a Zen state "channeling" his anger into blissful thoughts of getting out on the open road on his motor scooter, so he will not be able to expose.

Don't go on your trip until you see her reaction. She may decide to change the locks while you're gone and say she's afraid of you.

BE WISE!!!!

You've got to play this smart.

We know you can control yourself b/c you didn't kill OM today.

YOu can do this.

Be professional about your exposure. Use the letter templates Mel has posted to you. I like your response though. I can see you are as fired up as a lot of us here, and seeing you channel it in the right direction is a good step.

At the card game i would walk in and say:
"Ladies, i don't know if you know, but my dear WW is having an affair with OM since May. I am letting you know this so the affair can stop, and my wife and I can fix our marriage."

Then walk out. Bring up examples might throw you over edge, and you don't want that in front of the ladies, because your wife will spin your words like mad. She will try to point you out as crazy, and that is the last thing you want to look like is crazy. The calmer, and more professional you handle this the better things will be.

I wouldn't expose at the card game - that's an emotionally charged situation that can get out of hand. It also smells a bit of punishment and humiliation. Exposure isn't a tool to punish, it is a tool to end an affair - it's a fine line to walk.

Also I agree - she is going to be spittin' mad when she finds out about this. Get a VAR on your person, and leave it there at all times after you expose. She could easily spin this into an accusation of you abusing her unless you protect yourself.

And troll or not- good advice is good advice, whether to tl or to lurkers.

To anyone who thinks that I am a troll (I am assuming that means someone who makes up a story here), if you really feel that then please just ignore my posts. To the rest, your advice is really helping.

I couldn't make this [censored] up if I tried and, believe me I have better things to do with my time.

So for anyone who believes this is not real I say this:

That is your right and if you really believe that then please just ignore me. I will stay here as long as I need to and as long as the people here are willing to help.

Not true. Only been married once, still am to the same woman.

edit

This is war. You must stay calm and collected. I saw someone explain it, maybe even in your thread, channel James Bond. You have all the cards and she has none.

If you do not speak with her about it before she goes off to play cards I would call all her girlfriends as well. That would shock the crap outta her. I'll bet they might have a thing or two to say to her if you put it right, ladies hide your husbands. If your exposure is done by then you can just wait at home, if not I would wait outside the house and see where she goes or what she does after she knows everyone knows.

Nope, no punches pulled here because it never works that way. Don't pull yours either. She is not the woman you love and married you are fighting a war with an alien. As Mel said, don't laugh. It can actually get pretty funny when they try to talk their way out of it and lay it all in your lap.

Take OMW with you to expose at the card game! That is, if she's really going to a card game...

And do NOT go on a road trip this weekend!

If you have questions as to the authenticity of a poster, please notify a moderator.

Let's end the troll discussion now!

They'll help you until Nobama decides to shut off the internet, it just depends on WHEN you think we have stopped helping. The help doesn't shut off... ever.

I will ignore, but jump in when I hear that you are running for cover. We've seen that when the steps are followed exactly, then A usually ends. This does not, by the way, mean R. It simply means A over.

On the other hand, when the BS "bastardizes the process" or half hazardly follows the steps, A rarely ends and prolongs the BS pain to Plan D.

Dude, you hold the upper hand so much in this situation it's insane!!! I bet my life she isn't going to a card game with the girls.

this is the part that somewhat tipped me off as being suspicious about the authenticity of this thread...

i can see the scenario of her banging this guy in one of her properties, risky though, but convenient...she'll have to do A LOT of lying to pull it off...set-up a showing and report back false information about the showing to the owners...IF I were the owners and this happened in my house...I'd sue her...

but to carry on with the affair outside, in public...holding hands and kissing (an intense kiss at that) by the car in the driveway in public? That sounds fishy to me...BECAUSE she knows you're suspicious already...seems to me she would take extra precautions...

BUT she could be that type of woman...IF she can be persuaded out of her pants that easy...you need to expose the affair and leave her, divorce her...

HA! Yeah, maybe you could show up w/ OMW and ask if there was room for one more girl to play?

Seriously though, I would not contront her at the card game.

Bad idea.

As another poster pointed out, exposure isn't supposed to be a punishment. It is a tool to end the A. Even though you haven't decided whether or not you want the M, you'd like to keep your options open until you make a decision.

So you WILL be exposing? It will happen today? Tonight? You are all ready? Any questions for us?

It does sound like a troll, but it is good reading.

I was suspicious when the wife's OM started the conversation as he stalked the home of OM.

Everything fits so well. Nevertheless if this guy is a troll he took a lot of time to plan this and he learned something along the way.

To mr_anderson, yeah that's EXACTLY how it it happened. YOU think it sounds strange? Try it from my end. And, yes, the house is an occupied house.

STOP NOW!

breeze, you are right.

tl needs help, and we can provide it.

tl,

listen to these guys AND DO EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAY, cause things change on a dime and they can help at every turn.