Greengables,
He is not going to drop me on the work visa but the visa itself expires soon. What happens is that once his severance runs out you basically have more or less a month to either leave the country or apply for another visa.

The minority owner of the company where he was laid off can hire my husband in some consulting role(through another company he owns). In that case he can get my husband a NAFTA visa. My husband can get that visa no problem but he would not put me as dependant on that visa and that's where the problem is. As for the child we are almost at agreement as to visitation/parenting plan. Remember Canada and US are more like state to state than country to country when it comes to many laws and implementation/enforcement of the same.

If this affair happened let's say a year ago and I found out then, in that case I would have had time to execute Plan A and possibly plan B.

So here is some more update. Feel free to pitch in your opinion because I really don't know what to make out of this anymore:

Husband has been really nice to me, short of giving me a kiss and coming back to sleep in the same bedroom. However divorce is still proceeding. We did come up to some agreement for the parenting plan and we submitted it to the lawyers to give us their opinions. I also made a counter proposal for the money. My husband made me an offer way back in May but I have not said anything on that subject up to now. I basically asked for double what he offered and few other things and he AGREED without any remarks.

Today he bought me a new TV,DVD,microwave,indoor grill for me to take back for my new place. He offered, I did not ask.

However I personally feel like crap because I don't know if he is doing this out of guilt or just trying to make me shut up about his affair. Because if they find out at his former workplace where he was receiving severance pay from I think he can be in a lot of trouble.

However that still does not change the fact that I would rather have my family back than any money or material things. I could never put a monetary value to my family but I guess he can.

He is still not admitting anything but he knows how I hurt I feel about everything. He just refuses to talk about this period. It has been since Mar 23 when I confronted him and he filed for divorce more or less a month later.

I know most people would say: Take the money and whatever else you can and move on, but I am not like that. I have never been like that. He is home much more lately so I don't know what is happening between him and the OW(whose divorce is about to be finalized)

Here's my 2 cents without knowing your whole story. Take the money and the gifts. Divorce. You can always reconcile down the line.

I say this because at the beginning, my WH was generous and eager to provide for me and our children post d-day. As time went on and OW sunk her claws deeper and deeper into WH's flesh and mind and wallet, he changed. Now he's trying to STARVE us because I want my fair share.

He won't pay a penny over and above the temporary support order. Has even tried to pay LESS which forced a court order to collect.

I'd jump at an offer that is DOUBLE what he offered IF it will give you financial security once the ink is dry.

You can always remarry. Then, I'd draft a postnump asking for MORE in my name just to keep him honest.

I hate to say "think about OW" but this is a test to gauge his financial security. My OW is a money grubbing POS verified by xH and Xbf. And I ran a credit report on her that shows lots of accounts sent to collection, reduced payments on mortage, sucky credit. That coupled with my search of WH's credit report proved that he's funneled OUR money and OUR lines of credit her way.

Now my WH is threatening bankruptcy. Today I'm home doing chores with our three kids while he's on vacation at the beach with OW -- whos been bragging about the ENGAGEMENT ring WH gave her.

WH turn crazy the longer they're in affairland. Trust me. My WH acts just like Mel Gibson.

Take the settlement if it's more than what you expected and keeps your head above water financially. Think security. Think long-term, too. Is it just a settlement (one time payment) or alimony? Try to get alimony -- even if it's not part of the deal. Residual-type payments will keep YOU on his mind for ever. And OW will grow to RESENT him writing that check to you each month. Tee hee!!

Well my H is generous by nature and the OW did not get this treatment from her husband. My H was the CEO of the company she was just another employee. I think money plays an important role in their affair( probably h can't see that now).

Just read my first post to give you an idea about his affair. I would also like to hear other peoples opinions.