Just got home from a 14 hour drive from MI. I went there for 3 days to visit my H who had been there since 7/3. He went there to supposedly look for a second (vacation or part time) home for us to buy.
He ended up renting a place and now says that he's not sure that he wants to buy but would still like to have an inexpensive place for us to vacation sometimes.
About 30 minutes after I got there, he started getting text messages and he freely showed them to me but didn't answer. After about 4 of them, he told me that there were some things that he needed to talk to me about. So, we sat down and he told me that he had been talking to Debbie (old girlfriend) since January. And, that he had come up to MI to spend some time with her to see if there was still anything there between them and there wasn't. She kept texting asking him if his wife had arrived yet? And, why wasn't he talking to her today? And, could she and her mom come over to meet me--all after he had supposedly told her they needed to stop.
He says that he told her over a week ago that they needed to cease their frivilous conversations and texting and that he was going to tell me everything. Which, I already knew something was going on. He said that he spent all Fourth of July with her. He lied to me and told me when he went that she was not even there, that she was in TX.
He swears to me there was no kind of physical contact.
He said that he was not sure that he wanted to stay married to me because he could not trust me because of my previous A that ended almost 2 years ago. And, that he does believe that there has been no further contact between me and OM and this is correct. And, he also addressed issues of our sex life (not often enough) and says that I'm very negative in my thinking and words--especially concerning his 23 year old son that has been living with us for over a year now.
We bought a condo that we're fixing up here in my hometown and our home has been up for sale for about a month or so. I had been asking him if he was planning on putting me in this condo and taking off to live in MI and he always said no but on our drive home, he says that this was the plan. He is just waffling between he's not sure if he wants to stay married. We did do some good communicating over the past few days but, what am I to do? I don't want to loose my husband.
Is this man putting things in place to leave me? He is so hard to read because he has always been one to do things like this on the spur of the moment and changes his mind from day to day.
Please direct me on what my best steps would be to keep my H from leaving me. I really do not want a D.
