I was told to ask SDguy or Believer for a San Diego Divorce Attorney. But here's my sad story...

About a year ago, my husband of 20+ years decided that he wanted to "date" other women and stay married. Of course, I said no and that we should sell our house and get divorced. He agreed for a while. But, he quickly started manipulating and bullying me. I've never agreed to this situation. He dates pretty openly now. He's on the ever popular POF website and is listed as divorced, even though he isn't. The house WON'T sell!! So, it's been a year and in that year he's stopped working. He says that he won't pay child support. Somehow I've turned out to be the bad guy in this thing. Managed to buy himself a whole new wardrode, maxed out credit cards, still spends money like crazy. I'm the only one working now. Our house is 2 months behind on payments. I do have money for an attorney. I talked to one locally, but I wasn't too impressed. I'm in the San Diego area and need a really good attorney, if anyone has one. I've let this thing go on too long. I feel so helpless and alone. Everytime I try to talk to him about money, he walks away. Or he says "you decide" if there is a decision to make. Also everytime we try to talk things out, he's totally unreasonable. I don't know how I've managed to become the bad guy. I'm the victim here. He the cheater. He just wants it all. He wants me to "let" him sleep around (including with the neighbors nanny) and stay married to me and sleep with me. Yuk! He even said he wasn't going to use protection. I don't get it. I'm not a person who likes to cause problems. This is probably why he's been successful in manipulating me for so long. I need to find the strength to confront him one last time and file for divorce. I would appreciate any and all advise and comments, including a San Diego area attorney.

maybe you could go file for a separation and then slap a restraining order on his sorry butt. he'll have no choice but to move out...if that won't fly with the law...get your stuff and move out of the house...sooner or later he'll have to move when the house goes into repossession...yeah your credit (if your name is on the house) may get hit, but it won't be the end of the world...

as for an attorney, ask around...you've bound to know someone who has gotten a divorce...network it...

go to www.martindale.com and list the city and choose "Family law" as a specialty. You should be able to get a list with links to bios of the attorneys. Read up and look for someone with a lot of bar association contacts.

Ok, I've researched attorneys but haven't made the call yet. I did talk to one in December but I don't think she is the one. Anyway, today I'm freaking out. Our house, which has been on the market for over a year, maybe getting an offer. My agent is meeting with their agent tomorrow. We did get 2 offers before and we countered and they went away. I'm 2 months behind on a HUGE morgage, mainly because he is refusing to work and I can't even begin to pay it. I am just looking for prayers or good wishes that this offer is enough for me to get out of my hell that I'm living in. Before, when we got an offer, which was low, but would have paid the debt and given us a little in our pockets, he responded with "you decide". Well I totally regret not taking it. I just feel like every decision I make is a bad one. I feel totally alone in this. I told him I would rather have nothing without him than everything with him. He said he wants me to sign something saying I won't go after allimony (I'll give him this one) and child support. He also wants me to pay 1/2 of his student loans because he says we wouldn't have any of this without him. BTW, I worked for (with) him for 20 years in the business. I just now have gotten my own job away from him. It's gonna be a long and messy divorce. Any advise or comments would be appreciated. I'm just a mess.

My advice is that you get an attorney and go after whatever they say you can get. The one I used was a nice enough guy. He seemed competent, but our case was pretty simple. We did the negotiations parts ourselves, so it was basically filing the paperwork and meeting with the judge that he did. I would certainly go back to him, but I don't know that he would be the best for you. I don't really know about any others, but there are plenty in the area to choose from.