My boyfriend of 6.5 years; fiance of 4; cheated on me with someone else and a child was born. He still sticks to the story that it was a one night stand. I encouraged him to be a part of his son's life & even still got married. Now we have been married for two years with joint custody through the courts. The two parents are friendly, but I can't help but feel insecure; especially since I'm now pregnant myself. There are so many things that bother me & it's like he gets defensive when I bring things up & it's always justified due to the fact that we don't really know how well the child is being treated with his mother. I truly know that my marriage was meant to be, but I'm just so tired of smiling and trying to get along & trying to be there. What should I do? I love this child just as my own, but how can I understand and come to terms that these two adults are going to have to communicate for the child's sake. Please help me before I lose my mind.

Welcome to MB. Ok, how often and how do they communicate? How "friendly" is friendly? What is the visitation schedule like?

It is not necessary for them to be "friends" to both be parents of this child.

My XH was incapable of being civil and communicating with me after my D. It is NOT necessary for the best interest of the child. My son is now graduating from college with a 3.95, engaged, and heading to Graduate school. They just need to follow the visitation rules, and he needs to limit interactions with OW, to keep you safe and your M safe.

You should do a lot of reading here, check out Dr. Harley's books on how to build your marriage into one that is protected and strong.

Hello, it is an awful situation to be in.

Is your husband open about all communication with the ow, as in will he let you read messages, go with him to collect the child etc?

Try and enjoy your pregnancy, it's a special time and you shouldn't let your worries spoil it. Your baby was made in love, that's special xx

We are in the exact same position. Out of all of the possible scenarios of life after infidelity when there was a child made, it really is the best one. No real contact between the OW and still being sure that the children are put first. But, behind the smile and forgiveness you just can seem to shake the feeling that there might still being something going on.. Good luck and I'll let you know if I find an answer.