Sounds to me like she isn't getting her needs met and was looking for a little "cake".

Yeah, I tried and tried but I just don't think this person was wired to have a long-term relationship with anyone. Nor does she appear to have any empathy (I dont know if typical waywards do or not).

Plus, I feel a bit codependent. Of all people, I never dreamed I would be so. Not that I think that is a bad thing, but it just makes it difficult to extract yourself when you are involved with an abusive person.

I believe in marriage with all my heart and all that goes with it (commitment, love, faithfulness, etc). But I just don't know how to make this one work. I filed for divorce and am getting out.

I do feel the loss, some for her, but mainly all the memories, hopes, dreams, time with the kids, etc.

It took me a while to get to this point, mainly because she was very manipulative and blameshifting. I eventually learned that I was not the problem in the marriage.

This woman sure did a number on me, though.

Listened to a little more of the 6-hr voice recording I got the other day.

She is telling her friends that she broke down to him while he was dating another woman, and he replied "But you are not mine yet, I cant call you my WIFE yet".

She replied with something like "I have no right to act this way because you are not mine yet either, even as much as we've given our hearts to each other"

Then she said "now I trust him whole-heartedly"

Makes me want to 1)throw up 2)look up those threads on the success of affairages

I'm starting to see that getting out of this marriage, although it just doesn't seem right, is probably for the best.

This woman has always been immature (she's 33 and a lot of her friends are still in high school). She is incredibly lazy and shallow, a pathological liar. Everything with her is drama. She meets a new person and suddenly they are her best friend. No empathy. She is not sorry for what she has done (constantly badmouths me and sides with OM when he sends threatening emails). But through all of this, she still wants to act like the good girl (who made a mistake).

She's had 2 PAs and several inappropriate conversations/encounters. I avoid her at all costs but I did see her the other day when we were signing papers and I said "ya know, you could have just a little respect for me and our children and stop cheating on me until the divorce is final".....She refused.

She told me that I just don't understand. This guy was her first boyfriend and he will be forever imprinted on her mind. I understand that she is about as stupid as they come and is in for a real wake up call.

I will be so much better off.....but my kids are really not handling it well. That really infuriates me that she could do this to them.

Just focus on you and your kids, you do not have to deal with her any longer take a vacation with just you and your boys!

Get some fresh air!

You are making the right decision. Personally, as I high school teacher this: made my skin crawl... It's creepy and extremely inappropriate on many, many levels!

She is one step away from some very serious legal issues with this one thing alone.

Save your kids and yourself. You have fought the good fight.

Actually, she pretends that she is quite the mentor to these young girls (they either work with her, are neighbors, or her cousins). My wife is a chameleon. Severe self-esteem issues cause her to pretend to be the person that the person sheis with wants her to be. So most parents are pleased that their duaghter has a "positive" role model.

What they dont know is that my wife is no more mature than they are. She feeds them bs like following your heart, fantasy romance, etc. One girl told me that she could see through her and recognized that she had some serious issues and that her mom did as well. She is the one who told me that she overheard my wife having an inappropriate conversation with a man on the phone and that he kissed her. In short, you are right, she is a terrible role model.

It's been some time now Arkhawk1, how r u coping? Let us know

Well, I'm doing very well. Thank you for asking.

Divorce final in December. That went well for me.

After that, I found out that there are a lot of women that WANTED to be with me. Applying the principles I learned on this site worked awesome. BTW, flowers work magic.

XWW is still with her long distance OM. So, there is a little portion of me that wants her to be remorseful and regret her actions. But I'm not really interested in her, there are much better out there.

I remember when I was going thru all the infidelity and divorce, I read from people on here that it'll get better. It was hard to see then. WOW, they were right. Life is SO much better now. I feel good about myself because I did all I could do to save the marriage, so I have no regrets.

Hey arkhawk! Thanks for the update. I am glad to hear you are doing well.