Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 24 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 23 24
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
Hi MelodyLane

Just letting you know that I've changed my Profile Name to

Ashb

Just as a precaution

Last edited by Ashb; 07/24/10 08:51 AM.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
Hi Vibrissa

Did you see that I've changed my Profile Name to

Ashb

Last edited by Ashb; 07/24/10 08:50 AM.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Ash, are you working on confirming the identity of the OW so you can expose the affair today?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
Originally Posted by Ashb
It looks like the only way to change the Topic Line is to Open a New one.

Should I do this?
No need. Click the "notify" button at the bottom of this post and write to a moderator. Ask to change your thread title to something else (you choose).


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549
Likes: 10
I'm a day late and a dollar short!

Good luck Ashb.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
I think I have 2 options.

I can hear 'her' name on the tape, but need a sound engineer to 'clean' it up to confirm

I'll call my lawyer on Monday & ask how to subpeona the cell phone records.

But I did tell his boss the OW's identity could be traced on the cell call logs & gave him the date/times to look.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
You don't have to have court worthy evidence to expose, you just have to be certain. Are you certain it is her?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Ashb
II can hear 'her' name on the tape, but need a sound engineer to 'clean' it up to confirm

If you can hear her name on it, then that is your evidence. I would go ahead and expose the affair, starting with her husband. Just go down the line on the list I gave you. You can play the tape for the OW's H, but with the others just tell them that you have a tape recording of their conversation that confirms the affair.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
85%.

I've ask my lawyer to get the cell phone call logs.
I know the date/time etc Thanks to the VAR.
All I need to do is then match up the number &......That's who it is

I can't tell you how awful I feel.
Like someone's put a red hot poker in my stomach
I can't eat, sit still, sleep

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Ashb
85%.

I've ask my lawyer to get the cell phone call logs.
I know the date/time etc Thanks to the VAR.
All I need to do is then match up the number &......That's who it is

I can't tell you how awful I feel.
Like someone's put a red hot poker in my stomach
I can't eat, sit still, sleep

I am so sorry, Ash. frown

How long will it take for your lawyer to get the call logs? Can you not go online and get them yourself?

Is there any other way you could confirm its her? What about his computer? Have you scoured his computer? Does he use a computer at home?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
V
Member
Member
V Offline
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
Ash - I usually don't check in on weekends, but I'm glad I did this morning. I'm so sorry this is happening. Good idea to change your name and title.

First off - you need to know that your husband is gone. The man you loved, the man who helped you raise your children is gone. He has been replaced by the OWs boyfriend. That man may look like your husband, talk like your husband, even smell like your husband, but he isn't. OWs BF is cruel, evil, angry and vindictive. He will treat you cruelly and without remorse.

Because of this you MUST create a wall of support for yourself. Everyone must know what he is doing to you. Your sons, you family, your close friends. You need to surround yourself with people who love you, who will care for you, support and uplift you.

You must also take care of yourself. I know it seems impossible but try to eat, try to sleep. If you can get into you doctor, see him and ask for some anti-depressants. If you can, get back on your horses and go for rides. Disconnect from this ugliness as much as you can.

Do you think your husband will physically harm you? If so try to keep your boys or a trusted friend with you any time you interact with him. No matter what, make sure you keep a VAR on you at all times. Record every interaction you have with your husband. Let him know you are recording (if you have to legally, I'm not sure what the laws are on recording in your neck of the woods).

I'm glad you're talking to a lawyer. If you must file for separation for your own good - do so.

Stay strong and please take care of yourself. You can make it through this.

I will try to get back on but may not be able to this weekend. Just know that a prayer will be in my heart for you and your boys all weekend. Trust Melody Lane - no one knows this stuff better than her.

As for the future - it is up to you whether you want to save this marriage or not, it may be possible, but only you can decide what you can put your body through. You don't have to make this decision right now, but whatever you decide you must end this affair and protect yourself.

((((((Ash))))))

We're here for you, hon.


Me & DH: 28
Married 8/20/05
1DD, 9 mo.
Just Lookin' and Learnin'
HIYA!
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
You know what I really wish.....

That you were All HERE, with me & giving me a great BIG HUG

You have NO idea how much your support means to me... I'm sitting here crying

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575
Ashb---WE ARE!!!(((((Ashb)))))

from one semi-crippled horse riding addict to another.....i am praying for you!


what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
Hi Nikko

It's good to know you're not alone.
It's a very strange palce to be

But how come 'semi crippled' what happened?
Don'e tell me a fall - man that hurts
My young bay bucket me off last October & I very quickly remembered why I prefered to stay on. It took 6 months of rehab on my shoulder!
Missed the FEI Para Qualifier for World Games in Kentucky - very bad timimg

I've spent all night - it's 3.20 am here - reading LadyLongLegs Thread.

It's like watching my situation in Fast Forward.
They even use Exactly the SAME EXCUSES

It really shows hoe PATHETIC the WS is

But I must say, spending the last 6 hours reading every post on her thread has made me smile, nod my head, laugh, cry, get angry.
It feels like my emotions are on steroids

Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 5,575
they are still trying to figure out whats wrong....leaning towards ms....i have to have the scan done. kinda been putting it off.......i have days where i have "no legs" to ride with. not usually a good thing...lol but i will not give it up! i have a friend competing in the world cup for the us team...3 gaited. i think she was in south africa last time. i so wish i could go see her...she is an amazing young woman.

keep reading and learning....find ways to soothe your soul....horses were my sanctuary. i know it doesnt seem like it...but it does get better. take care of you and listen to the wise people here....


what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
Originally Posted by nikko
leaning towards ms....i have to have the scan done. kinda been putting it off.......i have days where i have "no legs" to ride with.

Hey - I've been diagonsed with MS - Feb 2007.
If you need any help regarding tests / diagnosis, Let Me Know

I've been and are going through this dreaded disease!

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
I'm having a REALLY bad afternoon.

This dreadful emotional rollercoaster !

I was OK this morning, had the boys & their friends here, which was a good distraction.
Then when I asked where WH was, my boys said they didn't know.
I asked them to text him, because he had said he would take some documents to a Client of mine, when he flew there Today.

They called me back & said he was already at the airport!

He had left without calling them or saying Good Bye to them!
Wonderful Father
He said to them 'He forgot' He was travelling & would be back Thursday

So my documemts didn't go with him.

My driver then asked me 'Where's WH's bike?'
He's a cyclist & has a very expensive bike.

Well, guess what, he's taken it to one of his friends as a precaution, in case 'I lose it'
as 'I am unstable and a drug addict'

So tomorrow, 1st thing, I'm going to the Doctor for Blood & urine samples for Drug Screening/Testing & at the same time, I'll ask them to test for STD's

I want that report sent to my lawyer, because from what I understand, they can also take a hair sample to see if there's any historical residue of drug abuse.

I want Every test known to man & happily do it every week.

OK, so now I'm angry again, which I suppose is better than crying!

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
D
Member
Member
D Offline
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 224
By the way he's travelling with the OW, for this 'business trip'

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
L
Member
Member
L Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 270
Ashb....I'm just reading today after being gone for quite a while and see that you had read my story. I'm so sorry for your pain...I haven't had a chance to read your story from the beginning, but I know what you're going through. You have an added reason to take VERY GOOD CARE OF WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU....your health condition and the fact that you need to be healthy for your sons as well. I have a good friend with MS and stress is one of the worst things you can do that negatively effects your situation. Do whatever you can to reduce your stress, including perhaps going to Plan B FOR YOU. He's obviously got his head in a whole other place and he's not going to do what's best for you. I think you have a very good reason to not endure this nor focus your thoughts on him for long. It will cost you what health you have. I wish you the best. LLL

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by Ashb
By the way he's travelling with the OW, for this 'business trip'

Ash, when will you be exposing this affair?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Page 6 of 24 1 2 4 5 6 7 8 23 24

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 281 guests, and 103 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Jerry Watson, Toothsome, IO Games, IronMaverick, Gregory Robinson
72,039 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,040
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0