I really have to try and get some sleep - 2 hours last nite!

Thanks everyone, I'll be back in the morning (or early hours pre dawn!)

night, Ash!!

It's Monday morning

I've just called my Lawyer and brought him up to speed about what happened over the weekend (Threats)
He said that how I was going about it, is the right way :-
Seeing my Financial Adviser to change the Beneficiaries
Going to the Doctor, for Bloods/Urine Hair Samples for full Drug Screening (& don't forget the STD tests)

I must then call him & he would make sure I see him today, to get the next bit of Legal Advise.

This is such virgin territory for me, and objective/logical thought might as well be on the moon

and now I'm crying again

Hooray!

It's so good to see a BS and person in trouble stand up for themselves.

Ok - Just finishing off making 3 more copies of ALL the documents:
Marraige Contract
House Deeds
Financial Costs
etc, etc

and am now going to meet my Doctor (Istill hate needles) have the blood tests etc and see my Financial Adviser at the same time

Ashb you are doing great! You can do this, hon. You're amazing.

See if you can try to get some anti-depressants in the next couple of days.

How goes the quest to get your WHs phone records to confirm OWs identity? It seems like you have exposed to all the pertinent people but one: her husband. Try to get on that ASAP.

Also, what are you doing today for yourself? How are you taking care of yourself today?

((((Ashb)))) Hugs, Ashb.

bumping for Ashb

how ya doing ash?

Hi - Sorry I've been off line for the last day or 2......
But
Breathe in, Breathe Out!

I went to the gynae on Monday morning for STD Tests/Urine/Full Drug Screening - $2000.00 worth - on H's Medical Aid!
I then met with a Very Special Friend, who's also my Financial Adviser, to my Divorce Attorney!

We had a 3 hour meeting and immediately drew up the documents to Cancel his Power of Attorney on my Investments.
We then drafted the Letter of Intent to Divorce, which I'm hoping will be e-mailed to him today - Whilst away on business with 'Her'

He gave me a really long list of other documents/papers etc to sign & prepare - which I've been busy with ALL day today.

While I'm getting all the Account information ready for him, I see that my H has withdrawn a HUGE amount from our Access Morgage Account - A MONTH AGO - enough to buy a new place!

I've left a message for my attorney & hope he still calls me tonite, because I am HORRIFIED.

My Attorney then said to call OW's Hubby & see if he's aware of 'Anything' going on.
I did - to find out she had Moved Out from him 2MONTHS AGO, & in with a mutual 'best' friend!

Her reason: They had 'Grown Apart'

He also confirmed that she "went away for a Ling Weekend, to Thunk About their marraige" - The EXACT same weekend my H went away - TO DO THE SAME THING. Now isn't it a coincidence that they went to the same destination

Well..............

I then (carefully, because I know what it feels like), told him that I had the VAC Tapes of 'their' phone conversation.

He COULD NOT believe it, because hise wife had swore blind to Him, Her Mother, Her Brother & Best Friends, that....
There was NOTHING Between her & my H.

Well to cut a Very Long Painful story short, he came & downloaded a copy of the Tapes today, after listening to them with me.

He was on his way to see their 'best friend' with the evidence after leaving me. I still have to call him to see that he's OK

I called 'their' boss, his cousin, his sister in law, her hubby & our doctor & told EVERYONE - all the Low Down (pardon the pun)

& they are still away together, a little oblivious to what they're coming back to. The Board are calling them into an Emergency Board Metting - Together - 1st Thing Monday morning/

Oh...... Forgot the most important thing

My youngest son called H & said "Do you have anything to tell me"

Anyway again after denying, but my WONDERFUL son standing strong - He admitted it to him - ON THE PHONE!

How do you do that to a 17 year old

What Alien has possessed his Body

AND FOR WHAT

A SHAG

He's lost his sons - they don't want anything to do with him. He's lost his Only family - they are supporting me & the Boys & NOW, he's even lost the respect of his bosses.

He was Always looked up to as, the moral principaled, sound minded LEADER.

Would like that as a Mentor & someone representing an International Company???

Stay strong and focused.

Well, I guess #3 can be checked off too.

Ash - you are doing a great job! Keep breathin', hon. Just keep breathin'.

Follow the advice of your lawyers and financial advisors. Cut your husband off of the money.

Excellent job on Exposure! Now that the OWs BH knows, he can be your ally.

Take care of yourself.

You are doing great.

(((Ash)))

Do you have access to any of your H's accounts? You could "return the favour"...

Don't forget to cancel any joint credit cards.

[quote=ManInMotion
Do you have access to any of your H's accounts? You could "return the favour"...

Don't forget to cancel any joint credit cards.

[/quote]

I only wish I did!
The best I can do, is I have a 'Spouse' credit card of his, for some of the monthly grocery costs.
So..... I suppose I will have to stock up for a bad winter & get in about 5 -6 months stock.
You never know what will happen with inflation, do you?

Do you know what I'm wondering...

Is what I'll find out tomorrow?

Re-cap
20th July - Met with the 'Mediator' for Trial Seperation - which failed dismaly (Iwonder why)
23rd July - Got the VAC Confirmation of the affair
24th July - Threatened to drive his car through the gate & kick me out the house & take ME for everything I HAVE
27th July - Find he has 'TAKEN' $75000.00 out the Access Morgage Account

I was talking to my friend who's staying with me, tonite.
I said to her " OK, we're living in Cloud Cookoo Land. In 1 week, I've confirmed my WH Affair. Identified his OW. Been threatened & discovered he has 'stolen' funds from our Property Morgage Account. I almost said 'in jest' -

The only thing left for 'THEM' to do, is have me committed to a Mental Institution, or perhaps even kill me.

You know, without sounding paranoid - It could be true.

I have told my Lawyer & everyone else. I will need to have his threats witnessed to get a Restraining Order.
My friend has promised to be at my side until Sunday, because he flies back from North Africa & lands CAT 5.00 am. this Friday Morning 30th July

So ALL Hell could break loose by 7.00am, or he could leave with his tail between his legs.

I just have to say = before I go to bed = It's 3.20am

You and My Friends here, HAVE BEEN A LIFE LINE

I don't think I would have made it this far, without ALL of you.

Goodnite, sleep tite

Talk to your attorney about this.

Huge money grabs pre D. Never work out as the thief plans. The backfire can burn ya.

This is a credit line, right? Not a savings thing?

It's 7.00am Wednesday morning.

I have just had to have the Worst conversation with my sons.

I have had to tell them about the money, because if anything happens to me, as my beneficiares, the debt will become theirs, as part of the estate.

Th OW' H said that the properties, where she is moving to cost aroud $ 150 000.00. He has already taken 1/2 that from the morgage. I am subpeonaing his investment portfolio. Once we have done an audit on it, we might find he has taken more money.
If he has, there's nothing I can do for my sons, as that's 'His' money, from Shares & dividends.
It does however mean, that the boys have lost their inheritence.

Hubby has also taken out a portfolio for my eldest son, in Hubbys name with my son being beneficiary, to be given to my son on his 21st Birthday, at the end of October.
So Hubby can access that 21st inheritence & take that money AS WELL.

This leaves my sons with NOTHING from their Dad.

I have told my eldest son to come back from University, this afternoon, to meet with my Financial Advisor/Broker, so that he understands EXACTLY what money there is, & where, from my investments. I have made my sons SOLE beneficiares of my will with 2 Estate Executors

It means that we might not get any Alimony or Running Costs for the house, until he has been charged with theft in a Court of Law & because of the amount, it will go to High Court.

Ash - I'm sorry he is doing this to you. It is disgusting and sick.

You are being smart by talking about this forthrightly with your boys. Trust your lawyer as far as charging your husband with theft. Do everything you can to protect yourself. The best thing you can do right now is to cut him off from any other money you have available.

Unfortunately, your sons are seeing their father for what he is. Actually - what he has become. What this affair has turned him into.

Do you have other sources of income - other than what your husband brings in? Could you survive without his alimony?

You are absolutely amazing. Stay strong. And remember - do something for yourself today. Something pleasant and indulgent. Keep sleeping, eating and breathing.

Also, your husband is going to be irate when he finds out what you're doing. If he calls you - try to let it roll off of you. All adulterers are angry when their fantasy comes shattering down. All of them. You are doing the right thing. Just hold to that. Ignore any words he may say to you, any threats he may make. But be sure to document them.

Take care of yourself, hon.

[quote=Vibrissa]Ash - I'm sorry he is doing this to you. It is disgusting and sick.

You are being smart by talking about this forthrightly with your boys.
Unfortunately, your sons are seeing their father for what he is. Actually - what he has become. What this affair has turned him into.

Do you have other sources of income - other than what your husband brings in? Could you survive without his alimony?

/quote]

Thank you, you have NO IDEA what your support and words of wisdom have meant to me, a;omg with the AMAZING people here, who are MY friends.

As of 20 minutes ago, I e-mailed my H the Intention of Divorce Papers for Abandonment & Adultery, whilst still in North Africa.
I had to wait until 20 minutes to midnight, our time to e-mail them, to ensure he would not be able to catch tonites flight back (They are 1 hour behind us)
I have cited OW, in name and sent a text message to my address book saying (INCLUDING Their BOSSES):

"I would like to confirm, that as of 11.50pm on the 28th July 2010, I have commenced divorce proceedings against ...... (H) for Abandonment & Adultery with.......... (OW).
It has become necessary for me to obtain a Restraining Order against him for myself,.........(son 1),........(son 2) due to his abusive & threatening behaviour."

I am meeting my Attorney at the Courst at 7.30am tomorrow to see the Judge, with my affidavit, to obtain the Order.

I have employed a guarding service 24/7 for the forseable (spelling?) future.

I've sent a copy of the Divorce Proceedings & Restraining Order to my son's Colleges's Deputy Head Master in case he tries to see him at school.

Tonite, I had the hardest conversation with my youngest son, I have EVER had to have.

He said he needed to listen to the tapes. As I now need him to know what I've been 'shielding' & protecting them from, I agreed.
Then I had to tell him how Verbally & Mentally Abusive his father was to me & that I had 'done the above'.

When he heard what I have been living through - HE SOBBED

Not about the Adultery, but that he had been abusing me, without hom knowing for SO LONG

They have disowned him

This morning I tied another date together
23rd Transfered Money from Morgage
29th He sent me an e-mail advising me that due to the number of Insurance Claims from Lightning Strikes, the Bank's Insurance would be sending around an assessor to assess the Buildings & Contents.
I JUST REALISED IT WAS TO VALUE THE PROPERTY & CONTENTS - NOT ASSESS

But as I've been surviving on 2 hours sleep a nite for the last 5 days, I am NOW taking myself off to bed ( with my dogs)

Oh by the way, I managed to get 2 months worth of grocery shopping done & through his Credit Card.
It was cancelled within the next 20 minutes!!

Do you really think he knows the Call Centre Number for his Credit Card Company, to make that call, OR could it have been THE OTHER WOMAN?