[quote=ladylonglegs]Ashb....I'm just reading today after being gone for quite a while and see that you had read my story.

LLL - you Cannot believe how please & greatful you've come on.

I've been going through your posts - page by page & I can't believe the similarities. Before I found MB, I thought I was experiencing something brand new.
But, our WH's have said the same thing in the same situations!

I'm in a similiar position to you, except for my sons & MS.

I've run a business for around 20 years in the Corporate/Commercial Construction side. I worked all over Africa, travelled the world.
AND always earned more than WH

I have 6 dogs, 4 competition horses & 2 cats!
And I love them all. I know exactly what you mean about Devoted Love.

I've got a Husky/wolf who hasn't left my side for the last 3 months. So bad I can't even go to the loo without him & my husky/GSD - it's crowded!

But, whilst WH is dangling his d..k ib the breeze, I'm going what you did ( I'm only on around Page 58 of your post, so I've No idea how you sorted things out -
I digress, I haven't been looking after myself. I now weigh 51 kgs!
It's great for the clothes & showing off the hour glass, but the face - 'weathered'

I went down to the shops earlier & stocked up on pre-cooked dinners & I WILL EAT TONIGHT !

I know it's asking alot, but please check in, on me from time to time - I'm on every ride in the fair ground!

I spent the afternoon with my computer genius.

He copied the 'Tapes' & has promised to do what he can to try & clean up the background noise, as I know he said OW name

Of course all I hear, "is who I think it is."

Here's hoping I get some clarification.

After texting his bosses/ Doctor over the weekend, with what's happening & how he's now threatening me.

I have No Idea what this week will bring.

I've never had to think like this before, Never suspected him

How Dellusional and foolish!

Ash, the more time that goes by, the more time the affairees have to SPIN the story and tell people you are insane and unstable. This is why this affair has to be exposed as soon as possible before they have a chance to do this.

Do you know the OW's husband?

I've just read my last few posts & my Typing is TERRIBLE

Sorry, but my mind is going 2000mph & my fingers can't keep up.

I'm drinking 40 cups of tea a day & probably smoking the same amount (but no drugs - I promise !!!)

I wish I did drink wine, or anything for that matter, I would go & sit in his wine store & drink his 'Oh, So, expensive wine'

Hi MeoldyLane

I HAVE told the people who are MOST important to me:
My Folks & Brother
My sister in law (WH's brother's wife) & his cousin.
Both ladies are Amazing & I am truely humbled by their support.

No-one can believe it! And I probably would still be excusing his behaviour (busy at work etc) Pardon the pun, if I hadn't actually heard him on the phone to her.

I still think I'm having a nightmare

How can this man, who I've been married to for 25 years, have 2 amazing sons, a home & everything else that come with effort & work - Have such a Full Blowm MLC & have an affair.

He's always 'laughed & commented' on his other mates who have done the same thing. Guess where the shoe is now.

Well, even though he's with her travelling 'on business' into Africa, I have 4 days of at least 'Not being threatened'. I need to work out a plan of action.

I honestly DO NOT KNOW who this man is! He was my husband

BUT............you have not told the ONE PERSON who is in a position to cause the most trouble in this affair: HER HUSBAND. So every moment that goes by is another moment the affairees have to regroup and get their story concocted.

Time is a wasting......

Keeping this secret from her husband only serves to ENABLE the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy.

You know what really gets me.....
I'm an intellegent, strong, educated woman & passibly good looking as well! (personel ego boost), and I'm behaving like a blithering idiot.

I make tea & forget where I put it. I stand up... to go 'somewhere' & I don't have clue 'where' that is.

I pick up my book, I put it down.

I haven't ridden my horses in 3 weeks & I've got a pre-qualifying clinic this week. I haven't been doing my exercises as often as I should.

FOR WHAT!

Ash, now would be the perfect time to expose the affair, while they are out of town sleeping with each other. It will ruin their lovers trip.

Expose to her husband, to her parents, her facebook friends. Send her facebook friends a private message using a message like this:

Dear friend of Skankyhola,

It grieves me to write this letter but I believe all of her friends should be aware that Skanky is having an affair with my husband, Joe. We have been married for 5 years. They have been having this affair since October according to the evidence.
I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks.

I would ask that you use your influence with Skanky to persuade her to leave my husband alone. You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify her parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.
Thank you, BW

I feel disrespected, embarrassed and humiliated by his choices

I've just copied this from LLL's thread

Does it get any better?

[quote=MelodyLane]Ash, now would be the perfect time to expose the affair, while they are out of town sleeping with each other. It will ruin their lovers trip.

I need his call records & my computer genius to clean up the tape.

So when I have IRREFUTABLE evidence who the OW is, I won't hesitate.

I have always told my WH - If I EVER find out you've had an A, I will take you for everyhting.

I am Not a Lady when my sons security (taking me for everythin & kicking me out of the house) is threatened.
I will be the Mother Bear.

They are THE MOST AMAZING young men, & No-ONE will harm them

BUT............you have not told the ONE PERSON who is in a position to cause the most trouble in this affair: HER HUSBAND. So every moment that goes by is another moment the affairees have to regroup and get their story concocted.

Sorry I missed this MelodyLane.

The tape is 'not very' clear at the moment - hoping on computer genius - but I think I heard:

"I can't believe it, so he's into boys'
'How can he, your a beautiful woman, a sexy girl'

Once I confirm this - it sounds like her H has just come out the closet, or that's her excuse.

But as I said, when I do have the Proof, I will call him & play the tape for him to hear.

I've put about 10 copies 'off site'

And it doesn't matter to me if it's not admissable in court. He has to live with what he's done AND face our boys.

I still have MS, I still can't work. I am Dis-abled. I HAVE an Incurable, Degenerative Brain Disease

He will HAVE to support me, there's not a court in the world who can accept what's he's done

That is ok, as long as you get that within the next 12 to 24 hours and expose this affair. You cannot afford to wait much longer than that. You DO NOT need court proof evidence to expose an affair.

Good deal! But get the goods FAST.

Is there any other place you can get evidence? Have you searched his drawers? Do you have access to his computer?

And the news about him being gay is probably a lie. Waywards always lie about their spouses. They are liars.

No - He doesn't have a computer at home & as they work together they don't need to e-mail etc.

& everyhting goes through a mail server, so they wouldn't take the chance.

I asked his bosses to check 'their' cell logs from last Thursday.

The only other thin is if my sons confront him.
BUT, I don't want that, they should NOT have to see their father for what he is.

They do know though, I've Always been open & honest with them. My eldest son heard a snippet, but I WON"T let my youngest listen.

This is the man, who would come home from work, change into tracksuit, eat dinner, Burp loudly, sit & scratch his b..ls, in fron of me & then fall alseep.

Where ARE my EN being met

That would be good if your boys confront him. They need to know everything about the affair. They should not be given false explanations about their dad's bad behavior. Don't cover this up, Ash.

Ash, this has to be exposed to the OW's husband. FAST. I am really concerned about this dragging out. What can you do to make this happen today?

Hi MelodyLane

I wish there was 'someway' to confirm 'her' name right NOW, I feel like I'm sitting on an ant's nest.

1st thing tomorrow, I'll do everything in my power to get the cell call logs for Thursday nite.

Because I REALLY am afraid of what he will/could do, I put an alert on his vehicle tracking system & they let me know when he's headed here, so I can lock myself in.

I have just called my financial manager (investments) who is also a Very Good Friend and asked her to get me the Forms asap, to change my beneficiaries on my Will/Investments/Power of Attorney etc.
She lives about 200kms away, but after she heard about what's happening she said she would come down personally tomorrow so we could go through the processes calmly & rationally.

Wow - this is when you know you have FRIENDS

AND

That you're not Unstable/Irrational etc.

I am also going to give her copies to keep of everything I've prepared for the lawyer.

Then just when I thought I couldn't feel worse - I got the most amazingly supportive e-mail
My sister in law is MIND BLOWING!
She's read all the historical e-mails & has just sent me her thoughts.

She could help a Zillion people!

Is there any way to 'paste' an editted version on my thread to maybe help others in my position?

This site is a lifesaver. How wonderful to be able to get to talk at will with others who understand what you're going through. I don't feel so quite alone, especially now, in the middle of the night. Thanks to everyone here who's been listening to my story and helping me through this

This is from LLL's thread.

It's sites like this, that makes to realise
'You Are Not Going Insane'

And

'How often this happens at the 20-30 year span!"

I searched the web & found this:

8 Warning Signs That Your Man Is Having a Midlife Crisis

1. He says life is a bore.
2. He is thinking about (or already) having an affair.
3. He is suddenly making impetuous decisions about money and/or his career.
4. He makes a dramatic change in his personal style or appearance and is suddenly spending lots of time in front of a mirror.
5. He has little interest in spending time (or having sex) with you.
6. He is drinking too much or abusing other substances.
7. He is displaying the classic signs of depression -- sleeping more, loss of appetite, malaise.
8. He is overly nostalgic and constantly reminiscing about his youth or his first love

The ONLY 2 my WH isn't {yet} showing signs of is No 3 & 8

But ticks the box on all of the others

Makes you think

This site is A Life Line

My only problem is the Time Zones. I'm between 6 & 8 ahead of you.

Hey Ash, that describes about 100% of the cheaters who arrive here, whether they are 25 or 60. Just so you know, Dr Harley views "mid life crisis" as a distraction. You have a major problems here and the real problem is your h's affair. If we are focused on "MLC" it takes the focus off the real problem.

I completely agree with you MelodyLane.

The MLC is not the issue.

He CHEATED - There is NO EXCUSE!

I DERSERVE MORE.

So let the games begin.....

As you can see, I've gone from sad to angry - again!