Sorry, meant to add:

I have Always (before MS) been the Higher Earner.
I am Financially INDEPENDENT
I have ALWAYS carried 75% of the Family Costs

Guess how much she'll be getting?

Ashb - you're doing great. I've been following along and rooting for you.

With regard to the credit card, there's also the chance that the cc company noticed atypical charges on the card and alerted them - and they then had the card canceled. I know two people who have cards where the companies call to make sure strange charges are not an indicator that the card was stolen.

Hang in there. You're so thorough, I think you could teach a course on this! Bust his chops 101. (Stay strong.)

Today's Update:

Hope you're all sitting down.

I set my alarm clock for 5.45 this morning, to have time to get to the Court for 7.30am

AND OVER SLEPT

I have been going around 20 hours a day for the last 3 days getting all the Legal Documentation in place & 8 copies of everything off site in hard copy and another 8 e-mailed copies to different people
(As my son says...That's a small forest of paper)

My son flew into my bedroom at 7.05 am.

I got up
Dressed
Made a Thermosflask of Tea
Put my make-up on
& Drove in peak hour traffic to the Court, which is 15 kilometers away past 2 schools (it was the time that the kids arrive to start the day)

BY - 7.30AM

As I said to my friends, my car became a helipcopter

I met with the Clerk if the Court & she gave me ALL (lots) of the Forms to fill in, along with my Affidavit.
My Lawyer arrived at 8.00am
We saw the Judge at 9.00 & he asked us to expand and clarify the Verbal Threats from H.
We wnt back to the Clerk, added another 3 pages & the Judge saw us in recess.
I walked out the Court at 10.30am with the Signed Protection and Restraining Order for me, my sons & my house staff.

I went straight to the Police Station & spoke to them about serving H when he arrives from the airport tomorrow.

AND The Judge ordered him to RE-INSTATE my access to his Credit Card

Now for some more interesting bits.

H's post arrived today with his July's Bank Statement.

He has taken another EQUAL amount out of his Investments.

It then reflects him paying it to a company of Attorneys, who I think are Property Conveyance Attorneys.

So -

I sent an e-mail to my Attorney, instructing him to start Civil Procedings against OW for:
Alination of Affection
Breaking up a 25 year marraige with a disabled wife & 2 dependent sons.

H has been given 10 days to respond to the Divorce Letter. To either settle amicably or to dispute.

Guess who's got more money to fight this.

I've opened a Family Trust and anything and everything I get from the different law suits will be paid into the Trust, with my sons being the equal Sole Beneficiaries.

So since Monday, I've:
Had a Full Drug Screening Test
STD Test
Met a Divorce Lawyer
Cancelled my H's Special Power of Attorney on my Accounts
Notified my Bank Manager of this
Asked him and my Neurologist to write a character reference of me for the Court
Started a Family Trust
Done a partial forensic audit on H's accounts
Issued summons on all his financial accounts & financial institutions
Updated my Last Will & Testament
Got a Protection/Restraining Order
Issued Divorce
Instructed for Civil Suit against OW.
Notified the Police
Called All my Immediate neighbours & put them on alert
Called the GPS tracking company for an alert when his car leaves the airport
Have 24/7 guards at my house
And arranged for the Police to take possession of his firearm
Told my son's school of the Court Order

I still have to:
Do the Change of Ownership on my car from his name ( I bought it from him 18 months ago)
Do a Comprehensive Inventory of all the furniture & assest of the house & properties

But NOW I'm exhausted!

Oh - I've had phone calls from all of his friends that have found out & they have told me they have also 'disowned' him & are supporting me.
Have the property valued by 2 independent assessors

You Go Girl!!!!

DANG GIRL!!!!!

as we say here....."Boy, did he hit the wrong hornets nest with a stick!!!!"

you are an inspiration....i know it doesnt seem like it, but your strength is amazing. PLEASE....i know what stress does to our issues....please, please, please....find something to center YOU. i would be balled up and cripple right now if it were me....i need some horsey hugs just thinking about it!

i am praying for you and your sons......

Lady - you take my breath away. You are amazing. You don't mess around huh? I wish more were as motivated to action as you - whether to save their marriage or end it.

Your husband isn't even going to know what hit him when he returns.

Just remember to take care of yourself through all of this. Eat and sleep. Plan something special just for you each day.

Cling to your sons. They have been dealt a horrible blow. No matter how old - divorce is painful for children. I remember the end of my father's second marriage when he discover her adultery. It was just him, me and my brother. All we had was each other. We were each other's strength through that time.

Take care of yourself, hon.

We're here for you 100%.

You are an inspiration to MB.

God bless.

Incredible self-discipline and drive. You're amazing.

tl

Yep...he's not gonna know what hit him, Ashb.

I think I'm gonna start calling you the "Dragon Lady". The fire breathing she-Dragon who reduced him to Ashhhh....lol

Thank You ALL.

Well, as everyone, who knows me says

"Don't .... with her children"

Hey Soolee, that's an awesome name! I have to change to!
How would I go about notifying everyone.

Last Time, I just let some if the members know in here with the posts

We'll see it when you change it- no need to notify . Gogo!

I'm awake - it's now 6.02 am on Friday

I've just spoken to the GPS Tracking Company & they are going to call me, the minute his car starts moving, which gives me time to just chill & be here at MB, reading all your replies

Thank you, for All your Support.

Without EVERYONE heres advise, I would still be 10 steps behind.

I copied my post from last nite, onto an e-mail & sent it to my address book, changing the acronyms to names. I also had to add a few explainations to the Drug Screening etc, as they have No Idea what's been happening in my world.

The first thing everyone has said to me
"But, you guys were So together as a couple & a Family..... I can't believe what I'm hearing"

Please excuse my typing/spelling, my MS has hit my hands & eyesight, so it's a bit dodgy

And yes, yesterday & today, I am doing something for ME

I am riding on a course/clinic with a German FEI Selector, to get her approval to ride in the qualifications for the Para Olympics in London 2012.

I had to explain about recent events because I've lost so much weight (49 kgs now) that my physical strength is low and that I've only ridden my horses 1 a week (ish)for the past 2 months.

She understood!
AND
So far, my horses have behaved beautifully!

My friend who was here with me for 3 days from Monday, is coming back today & she says to me last nite

" Put your lipstick on girl, we are hitting the town tonite!"

I'll have to have some zzz's this afternoon! I can't remember when I did that last, probably 25 years ago

That is so great! You are a champ.

Take care of yourself. You can make it through this. And I love the new name!

Hi All = here's an edited copy of the e-mail I sent to my address book

Hi Everyone

It�s Sunday 1st August 2010 at 1.35 am

My eldest son came to me and asked me:
�Why have you sent the e-mail about you and Dad to everyone�
And I answered him
�I want everyone we know to know the Facts, as I have been able to put together over the last 5 days.
I want everyone to know at the same time, so there can be no �Broken Telephone� of snippets being passed around, that are not The Real Facts�

Once I had explained this to him and my youngest son, they completely understood and agreed with me.

Well it�s now no longer an �Alleged� Affair between WH & OW. Which is how WH kept referring to �it� to my 2 sons
They have moved in together in a complex in **edit***
& I have the street address.

I am told it�s a 3 bedroom Unit & WH and OW have had a busy day moving in.
They used @#$% Transport to move OW boxes from her home with Hubby,
Which I find interesting in that I thought they would get a staff discount using the company they both work for.

It would appear that WH & OW have been planning this for quite a while.
As the money was withdrawn from our Bond Account on the 23rd June for $ (lots)
and the
R (lots) from WH's Investment Account on the 5th of July 2010 (when it was deposited into his account)
He then paid the $'s to a Conveyancing Attorney

But the rest of the Account Transactions will be going to the Auditors for a complete Forensic Analysis, once that Summons has been Issued.

Then on the 29th June he sent me an e-mail to say the the Bank Insurance Brokers were coming round that afternoon to check our Security and Value of Goods Insured, because we had quite a few claims over the last while.
It now makes sense that it was not an ASSESMENT, BUT A VALUATION of the Property and Contents, so that he could show **edit*** how much he owns.

The only problem is that I HAVE PAID FOR 80 % OF THIS PROPERTY, AND
As we are Married ANC without Accrual,
WHAT I�VE PAID FOR, IS MINE
And
WHAT HE�S PAID FOR IS HIS, which furniture wise is:
A bed base
A bar fridge
A drinks cabinet � inherited from his Father
His Bikes (very important)
His Clothes
His wine collection
Flat Screen TV
Small Hi-Fi system


Everything other piece of furniture on the property I paid for including the suitcases he uses

Just so you know. This is how and when our marriage breakdown started:

1st of June I sent WH an e-mail, saying that we needed to establish �Professional Boundaries� between him and OW as he had come home on the Friday night before Drunk after having spent the evening drinking with his work colleagues (again) and **edit*** was there. He also bumped his car driving drunk (again)
I asked him in**edit**� last May � to do the same thing

But he refused saying:
She�s just a work colleague
She�s just a friend
And
WH replied saying � He needed more WH Time� etc etc

I carried on trying to get him to tell me
� What�s going on
� Are you having an affair
� What do you want
He said
� I don�t know
� No � of course I�m not having an affair � How can you say that � How can you NOT TRUST ME?

This went on from Mid May 2010 (which is when OW left her hubby)right up to 20th July.
I went and saw a Marriage Councillor, � WH said he didn�t want to speak to a 3rd party
I went and saw our Family Doctor, who then asked to see ***Edit***
We saw him for the last time on 20th July, when I said � way through the appointment
�I will make up your mind for you, you are here in body but not in mind�
And I swore at him saying
�F...k you, I will find my own way home & left�

And that was the final straw. WH moved back to the office after I had been trying everything to make our marriage work. I had bought numerous books about repairing relationships, worked through their questionnaires, highlighted pages of areas in the books, and gave to WH, I felt we could try and fix.
I even stupidly bought books on how to improve your sex life with a disabled partner, so ***edit*** might be able to understand how much pain I have to deal with and how MS affects my libido etc.
That was a waste of money � he didn�t even bother to read it.

I don�t know why that surprised me, as in all the times I went to hospital of IV cortisone � I think 25 or 30 times, he came once � because he was too busy at work. So if my sons or my mom couldn�t come, I drove myself to and from the hospital each time.
WH hasn�t even met my Neurologist, that I�ve been going to since February 2007.
When we went out to work functions, WH would say to me � Do you have to take your crutch with you� � as if it embarrassed him.
The last time I asked him to inject me (10 days ago) � which is very painful anyway � he just �jabbed� me, without holding the skin or keeping the needle straightened you should have seen how much the injection site bled and the bruise I got.

To show you how much WH cares about his family � The weekend of the World Cup Final � my youngest son had quite bad pneumonia. I was taking him to our Doctor every few days and Hospital for X Rays. Buying humidifiers, getting him to nebulise etc.
WH went to **edit** with OW and collegue from **edit**. He said he had to work at the Branch there, and then spent the weekend on a game farm with them � entertaining his company's International Guests. I got an sms from him saying �The border post was too busy, so they would only be back on Monday, in time to take collegue to the airport�

So obviously, in WH's mind � work is more important than his son�s health.


On Friday night I e-mailed WH and OW copies of the various Law suits that have already been processed by my Attorney against both OW and WH.
They Include:

Civil Suit against WH to Account for the money withdrawn from the Bond Account as we signed a Contract in 1989, that this was a Joint Ownership.
Therefore he has taken this money without my knowledge, discussing it with me, or my permission
This is Breaking our Legal Contract
AGAIN
He has broken our marriage vows :
In sickness and in health
Adultery

A Civil Suit against OW for Alienation of Affection between WH & myself and breaking up our marriage of 25 years, leaving me (disabled) and 2 dependent sons

Advising WH to contact **edit*** Police Station, so that they may serve him with the Protection and Restraining Order against me, my sons and our house staff.
Also to sign over his Firearm

He also has to, with immediate effect, re-instate my credit card, in order to run the house costs, until the Interim Maintenance Settlement can be done.
We are applying to the Courts through Section 43 of the Maintenance Act, next week.

I need time to spend with my sons and make sure they are OK.
I know they are men, but NO-ONE deserves to find out that the Man they held in such high regard � their Father �
Is a liar / cheat and has jeopardised their financial future.

Once again � I THANK, from the bottom of my heart � ALL the wonderful people who are OUR FRIENDS, who have stood by us and offered their support and understanding through this.

Dragonfire

You have left certain identifying locations in your "edited" post. Is that what you really want?

tl

There are other proper names as well, which I'm finding as I read farther. That's not really HER name, is it? Dang appropriate, though, if it is.

tl

Thanks for that!

I'm suffering from Fried Brains!

It's been a week! I've slept 16 hours in 7 days!

I am about to write an instruction to my Attorney to contact 'The Company' to ask what they feel my 'confidentiality' is worth?

I think they'll be more concerned about what I know, than what's going on - on paid for business trips!

I notified the mods when I saw you'd left the board. Right now you have ALL the ammunition. No sense in giving any to your WH right now, or letting him try to accuse you of public defamation of character..as if, after what HE did, you even could!

And a question, which you certainly don't need to feel compelled to answer: Was the name for the OW, now edited out of your post, really her name, or did you just make it up because it "fit"? If it's really her name, does it have a some nice meaning where you are as opposed to what it means in other places? If you chose it, let me commend you for a very literate and erudite insult. I'm impressed. If it's really her name, she must occasionally get some interesting looks in her travels.

tl

I would love to take credit for your commendation....

But, alas no, that's 'where' one of the many rendevous' took place, but it Does fit perfectly - Well Spotted!