Ok Doug and I talked, Thought that he might come with a spreadsheet to show me his plan, but it was all in his head!!!

He did bring me a chai tea which is something that I love and he knows this, so he scored with that!!! Said that the store didn't have the other item that he wanted to bring me, so I will have something to look forward to!

We talked about what we each wanted and needed from the relationship, agreed that they were all legit and would work on meeting those needs for the other.Discussed how the other is what was missing in our marriages, talked about all the things that we liked about the other.

Doug said grace before we ate simple hamburgers, that was cool!!!

I am to meet the kids Tuesday, not sure if it will just be the 2 younger ones or all 4 of them. I made the comment last night that we had 7 kids togehter, that just blew me away!He then pointed out that I have 5 grandsons!!!!

I did fess up about going out on Monday with the online guy, Doug was very jealous, said that I needed to be honest and didn't want him to hear it from someone else. Said he appreciated that, he did ask some questions as to why, said that I wasn't sure why but that there was nothing there and that I was where I wanted to be, he brought it up again and I said yes I kissed him and that yes I did compare and that Doug was a much better kisser!!!! I reminded him of leaving things in the past and we agreed that that is what we would do!!!

So forward we move, agreed that weren't looking for marriage but going forward together at this time.


Dawn

So what is your plan for Tuesday? I hope this works out for you.

Ahhhh Tuesday came and went, but Doug was umping church league tournament, so did not meet the kids. That was ok!

He was umping again last night, my DIL games, so went to watch her. Went out with Doug and a buddy after words for ribs, his 2nd son called and he invited him to join us, didn't tell me right away, I went to the bathroom and he called son back and said that I was with him and asked son if he was up to meeting me, said yes, so when I came back from the bathroom he told me.

Very nice young man, we had a nice conversation. I am sure it helped that the buddy was there. Will meet the younger two tonight as we are going to the stock car races!!! Will need to meet the oldest son yet. I am still a little nervous though!!!

Dawn

Good morning Dawn,
One thing jumped out at me immediately. Didn't he know that he was umping the church league on Tuesday when he made plans with you? Tuesday was a big deal for you. I don't like that his plans with you got cancelled. I have a tendency to make excuses for people and put up with stuff that I know I shouldn't so maybe I'm just sensitive to similar behavior.

The rest of your week sounds very nice. The races sound fun. Hope you have a great weekend!

still,

He thought that the church tournament started on Wednesday, I was ok with that, this way we have something to do besides "meeting" we have an activity to do!!!

It was a good week!!!!

I put the top down on my new toy, the weather is good, life is good!!!

Dawn

Ah you got your car! Congratulations!

I have a convertible too and I love it. I drive around without my top as often as possible. Lol

Daybreak,

My WH, while we were dating, would do the on and off again thing with me. He would just drop off the map. (Since DDay I have learned he had another relationship I never knew about, sexual, which we didn't have, and wanted to marry her. Then he found out she was sleeping with everyone.)

So, back to me he came. He would come and go.

After DDay, I learned he really wasn't that attracted to me, but I was "comfortable" and when "there was nothing better happening", he would pull me down off the shelf.

I misread his coming back over and over as, "He really is the one I am suppose to be with." I thought he kept finding out that he really wanted me in his life, that he had feelings of love for me, etc.

The reality, which I now know, is that he didn't want to be alone and, "Oh well, she's better than nothing."

He told me he would come see me "if nothing else was happening that weekend", because "I was suppose to be 'going' with you."

I haven't read all your thread, but what I have read gives me reason for pause. Sounds all too familiar.

Maybe you and Doug being older and experienced in love and marriage and educating yourself in MB principles is different.

But, just be careful.

I ended up marrying someone who never wanted me, all because he was afraid to be alone and OPEN and HONEST about his true feelings. (Besides being pretty screwed up emotionally, I now learn.)

J U S T B E C A R E F U L !!

77,

Thanks for sharing!! I am being so very careful as I was the unwanted wife the 1st go around. After 20 years he said he should never had married me and married the HS sweetheart 2 weeks after our divorce.

So I am a little bruised!!! This is the first long lasting relationship since then, so am very careful, I want it to be me that he wants and I need to believe that and not just let it feed my ego!

Dawn

Well we didn't end up at the races tonight, free tickets weren't available. So he and the kids went to eat at Burger King, did some errands and I meet them at his apartment about 9 for dessert, Apple crisp and ice cream or chocolate cupcakes. Needless to say dessert was a hit.

The kids didn't run up to hug me but they did warm up to me, I was there for about an hour and half. Good introduction, still need to meet his oldest son.

Will probably meet his mom tomorrow! Only one sister left to go!

Dawn

I meet mom yesterday for burgers on the grill at her camspite!!!

Went well, I now know why Doug is the awesome guy that he is!!!!

We were left alone for about 20 minutes as Doug took the kids to get an ice cream!! His x wasn't well liked by his family so was pleased that I got along with his mom!!!

Had a great time with the kids too!!!

Good day!!!!!

Dawn

I'm glad things are going well for you! Sounds like a good day.

Wow, I hear people's stories, and it breaks my heart...to marry someone and find out they weren't all that interested in you but just didn't want to be alone, like you're some kind of consolation prize...that's just so wrong!

Dawn, glad you're enjoying your mustang, hey that beats most relationships anyway!

I am a little concerned with the push-pull nature of your relationship.

Also, the "forgetting" about umping. Have you read much about living with the passive aggressive man?

There is a great book about this. I would check this out. PA is horrible to deal with.

Daybreak,
You have been suspiciously quiet lately. I know that Doug was out of town for a friend's birthday and you have a foreign exchange student coming this week. How is it going? Usually when I am quiet, either my gut is going off and I am trying to ignore it. Or, I am so busy and things are going so good that I don't have much to write about. Are you like that? If so, which is it for you?

Hey still I am the later!!!

Things are going good with Doug, just makin adjustments as our lives are both very busy!!! Wondering when we will get to spend sometime together.

I went back to work today!!!Ugh wasn't as bad as I anticipated!!!!

Have to finish cleaning so I can go spend an hour with Doug, we live half an hour apart so much of my time will be spent on the rode, but will suck it up!!!!

Dawn

Two things in your post jump out at me: You're both very busy and YOU are going to suck up and drive to HIM. ????

He is the one that wanted to make up the way he neglected you in the past. But, he "forgets" about umping and he is off for 50th Bday parties for other men. What is he doing to prove to you that you are special to him. It seems like you are catering to his schedule. Am I missing something?

I'm glad that you are happy. I want you to be very happy for a very long time. Are you making excuses for him or settling?

still,

You have definitely give me somethings to think about.

We both are busy. He still has kids at home, that are very much into sports, and he coaches their teams. I have work, I also work extra curricular events, coach bowling, teach Sunday School. And I just took on a foreign exchange student!!!

Tonight he had his kids and they were watching movies, and asked if I wanted to come in and watch with them for awhile, easier for me to go in then them to come out here to night, one of those give and take things.

He does tell me on a regular basis that he enjoys spending time with me and likes what we are building together, he writes me poetry and brings me flowers, asks if we can spend time together, turns the TV or radio off so that we can visit with each other, calls me in the morning as my wake up call, texts me good night, didn't realize he was doing as much as he is till I seen it written down!

I enjoy the time that we get to spend together and look forward to the next time, but don't have to nor want to be with him all of the time! We have agreed that we are looking to enjoy the journey and be so worried about the destination.

I am happy!!!

Dawn

Ok. The fact that he still has kids in the house does make a difference. He is not as free with his time. I just wanted to make sure that he is giving as much as he is taking given your past history with him. I am glad that you are happy!