I saw this quote from JMWC95 and it got me to wondering. Do you think there is a relationship between how soon a BW resumes regular SF after D-Day and how quickly a WH begins to withdraw after NC is established?


The reason I ask is that on D-day before I found out, I had planned to have SF with my WH. A friend had told me that from her experience the best way to fix problems with her H was to BOINK him till exhaustion, then repeat.

After I found out I went a head with my plans, I had already figured out that if he had picked up an STD that I already had it since we had been sleeping together during his A.(Thank God he had not picked anything up)

WH told me that my request had shocked the H@ll out of him, and he did not know how to deal with me then. So I left him completely in shock, but we did SF that night. Personally, I feel that the hysterical bonding did help.

What do you think?

Part of plan A is meeting needs. If SF is one of his top needs, it can't hurt if your goal is a restore marriage.

There may be other risks, but as you concluded, since he was actively with both of you, you both were likely exposed to anything. Apparently, you've both since been tested. I suspect future testing is also prudent, just in case something was "incubating." But I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so I'd get a professional opinion.

Boinking him to death would be part of an overall strategy, not the silver bullet.

something about "BOINK him till exhaustion, then repeat" caught my attention...ever watch the "Dog Whisperer"?

Well, whenever Caesar goes to a home with a dog that is unruly and won't walk on a leash without pulling and fighting, Caesar comments that the dog has too much pent up energy to focus on anything...so Caesar will put on his roller blades and let the dog pull him through the neighborhood until the dog has released all that energy...then he puts a leash on the dog and bingo...the dog walks calmly and isn't distracted anymore...

So yes, meeting your hubby's need for SF by "BOINKING him till exhaustion and repeating" may keep him focused...

Enlightened,

When I was tested, I spoke at length with my OBGYN. She concluded due to the length of the affair (PA 3 months) that there was little to worry about if everything came up clean, since incubation would have occurred during that time.

But I plan to re-visit the issue later this year at my yearly.

so if you've already been tested, yet plan to re-visit the issue later this year...are you using protection? if not, why re-visit the issue, will it matter?

There is still the issue of HPV, which can stay hidden in the body. They will test me for that during my yearly.

H can not be tested for HPV, since they have not figured out an accurate way to test for it in men.

I think myself that it helps to continue to fill that need, I think it's good to reconnect in that way, usually what's missing if one spouse is having an affair.....
I'm the BS and I think it helped me, you have loved that person for a long time, 26 years for me, even though they fell wayward for a bit, mine was probably 6-9 months total......of course being tested and staying healthy and safe goes without saying.....hysterical bonding I think it's called, that might fit me.......hehe!!!!
I didn't know if my husband was going to stay or leave at first, I knew that I would love him until the end and he could leave with some wonderful memories of us.......sounds crazy I know but it's what I chose to do.......for me I only waited about 2 week to resume our sex life.......