Divorce court was monday and all was settled. No divorce is a good divorce but I was divorcing a particularly abusive person for those of you who haven't read any of my posts. He tried to take my kids from me and leave me with nothing after he left me for OW. The end result was I got full custody, the house and child support. There were soooo many tears shed, so many late night panic attacks. Weight loss, hair loss, and all the bad habits that come with stress. MB was a great lifeline and I thank all of you who contributed. Some comments were harsh but lead to new perspectives I needed to explore (didn't like being called a doormat and a victim but needed to hear it). Other comments, incredibly practical (being the one offering consistency is key to custody). I took much comfort in hearing stories about these things happening to other people too. It made me feel less like a freak. As I looked for the flaws in me that explained the sudden abusive and soul slashing attacks from my WH as he left ME for OW, and broke up our home with venomous anger instead of the remorse I needed from him, I was consistently reassured by your posts of similar stories and similar behaviors from WHs. It left me feeling far less guilty. Finally, those who had attitude and had gotten thru their own nightmares with optimism and hope, even happiness, you were truly inspirational. I feel I am inching toward a similar path as this latter group.

THANK YOU ALL!!!

So glad to hear it's over, and especially that it went your way. I can't imagine what a relief that must be (my court date is next week).

God bless you and I hope you and your children go on to live the amazing, blessed life that God has planned for you!

Congratulations FPM on this milestone in your recovery. Sounds like you've truly earned your place on the ladder - far above where you would have been without a lot of hard work, and the requisite suffering. I wish you and your children continued success.

optimism

Grats on your victory, sorry your marriage is over. Sounds like he didn't even try.

His loss

im sorry, just remember that You might think that your life is wrecked, and there is not anything worth living; no matter how difficult you think you have it, and how bad you want to give up; always remember with the passion and tenderness care that you acquire from your son or daughter, your life could never get better.

Good job on sticking with it! I suspect you will feel a lot better as time gives you perspective.

Thanks all. It's still quite the open wound, and I imagine it will be that way for a while. It was awful. All those contemplating divorce, I don't recommend it. All those like me with no choice in the matter, I hear people actually live thru it, even thrive afterwards. I'm banking on that scenario.

The awfulness of the treatment and the $28,000 owed to my lawyer would have been nice to avoid tho...