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I am glad that you see that more clearly now that it is his way of still having you in some way. He isn't gonna know what to do with himself when you go dark on him. I am glad that you see that the "stuff" isn't really worth this aggravation. Who knows what he will think about when he sees that pic and with you being dark, you won't care.  Not even in a bad way. You will just let go and ha is the most important part of this. You sound MUCH better. I for one, am GLAD.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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All Posters /Art .com is having a 25% off everything sale right now, Buy the cheapest print, roll it up in a tube and send it to him. He wants the print, he did not say anything about the frame. OH ME LIKEY THIS.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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If you want to keep what you have...send him this... http://cgi.ebay.com/Picasso-Repro-O...gs&hash=item5d2a20a89d#ht_4039wt_931Just love ebay. Other option, give him the picture and on the back of the frame write "with love always and forever your wife". The only place that picture will hang is on the back of his head...
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Great suggestions with the art, peanut gallery!!
And you are not alone, SW. My wayward wants only 4 items after nearly 25 years of marriage...
BBQ
gun safe
bike
box of year books, high school trophies, etc. from the attic
That's it. No pictures of the kids. Nothing that was "ours."
Hummm... don't you all agree that "gun safe" means "empty without guns"? I do.
And I can probably scratch the BBQ since he told DD today that he bought a new $700 one since mean, crazy, ANGRY me wouldn't release "ours" when he DEMANDED it one day. Boo, hoo.
And the short SB texts? I do that when I have to communicate. We should start a thread where we post our short texts and then the ramblings from the waywards that follow. They hate when we don't give them the attention they feel they deserve. Five words or less makes them feel unimportant. Poor babies.
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Other option, give him the picture and on the back of the frame write "with love always and forever your wife". LOVE this idea! Great job w/ keeping the messages under five words!
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SW,
email back:
You can have all of the items on your list. Pick up AFTER you agree via attorneys in WRITING that is all you want, and this can be finalized. Thank you.
SW
Then, moments before he picks up the picture, and I mean MOMENTS BEFORE HE GETS THERE -
You email him and say this about that picture:
"I'm glad you have the things you wanted from the house. I am curious, though, about something. Why did you want the picture from above the bed we made love in so many times? Will you be hanging it where you can look at it and always remember those times?"
He gets home, with the picture, and later on opens his email.
That email will stew with him FOREVER. It will taint any memory of that picture - and he will not be able to hang it anywhere without thinking of that email. And OW will not, for the life of her, be able to figure out why he fought for a picture that he now hates.
And yes, it breaks the five word rule. But it works for YOU.
Last edited by schoolbus; 07/27/10 10:57 AM.
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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The fact that you sent the email before he gets there will make you feel like the cat that ate the canary the whole time he is there taking his precious stuff out of your house. You won't feel a bit of pain while he takes his little treasures.
You will know what awaits him on his computer, and that his little stuff is already tainted. Let him have his crap, and be gone.
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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The fact that you sent the email before he gets there will make you feel like the cat that ate the canary the whole time he is there taking his precious stuff out of your house. You won't feel a bit of pain while he takes his little treasures.
You will know what awaits him on his computer, and that his little stuff is already tainted. Let him have his crap, and be gone Thanks SB. I was stewing all night last night about doing something similar so I was glad to see you suggest it. I sent my attorney an email telling him I was going to agree to let XH have some stuff back but before I do I want to know about the June alimony and those ridiculous claims that I scratched his truck....(the truck that he btw, declared in open court he was saving for our ds10 when he turns 16).
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I love what SB suggests. Yes, SW, do it. Agree to the items and follow through with the email.
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I LOVE WHAT SB WROTE. Let your attorney deal with the alimony and the truck. DON'T mention that in your dealings with your WXH. You have an attorney for a reason. I LOVE ALL OF THE SUGGESTIONS FOR THE PICTURE BTW. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Ok, my attorney thinks I should mention to XH in these property discussions that I intend to pursue getting my June alimony.....and for me to weigh getting that against what he is wanting back.
So XH told me last night that he wants
Patio furniture
Grill
Picaso print (framed)
I didn't answer....that was about 8:00 p.m.
So today around 3:00 he sends me a copy of his first email (without any of our subsequent discussion attached) and said
As I asked in the bottom of this email, When can you meet to discuss the division of our personal property?
So here is what I am going to respond back---Haven't yet....need opinions from you all if it is brief enough.
"See discussion below.
You have told me what you want. If I agree to your division you will end up with much more than me....thereby giving you a windfall of personal marital property. Also, you have yet to pay June alimony."
And I replied back using his last email from last night which includes our back and forth about what he wants.
You think that is ok?
And why do you think he keeps wanting to 'meet' with me? I find that weird. I'm not going to discuss this stuff off the record. He must be nuts.
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I can think of a few reasons he would want to meet with you in person and not write it instead.
1. He wants to see you succumb to his wishes, because he is a drama queen and gets a thrill out of having you in front of him and getting the "win". This allows him to report back to OW what you said, how you looked when he won, and his "victory" over you. In other words, he wants to feel strong and this would allow that for him.
2. He wants to meet you because he has something to say to you that he does not want anywhere in writing. It could be good or bad, he just doesn't want it written.
3. He wants something from the house that he is embarrassed about, or he feels is very private somehow, and doesn't want others to know he has asked for it. It might be that he doesn't want OW to know he wants it, or has asked for it. You might want to think about what this might be, if there is anything you might have that would be of particular sentimental value that he might want but would want to hide being desirous of. I am just offering a guess on this, and could very easily be wrong on this, but it is an outside possibility.
4. He wants to threaten or bully you because you have pushed his buttons, and he is not happy where he is in his fantasy. After all, this affair is YOUR FAULT. Therefore, his dissatisfaction in his current life is ALSO YOUR FAULT. You got him into this mess, and therefore, it is all your fault. He wants to vent.
5. He wants to talk about something that was not in the letter. Likely a visitation issue, the thing with OW overnights.
In any case, I would not meet with him, if it were me.
If you feel you must meet with him, take a tape recorder and tape the meeting. Meet in public, so you can walk out and leave him sitting there alone if he gets worked up, or if you just do not want to discuss whatever it is any further.
But, again, I would not meet with him. You have an attorney. Let the pros handle him.
Plan. B.
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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I can think of a few reasons he would want to meet with you in person and not write it instead.
1. He wants to see you succumb to his wishes, because he is a drama queen and gets a thrill out of having you in front of him and getting the "win". This allows him to report back to OW what you said, how you looked when he won, and his "victory" over you. In other words, he wants to feel strong and this would allow that for him.
2. He wants to meet you because he has something to say to you that he does not want anywhere in writing. It could be good or bad, he just doesn't want it written.
3. He wants something from the house that he is embarrassed about, or he feels is very private somehow, and doesn't want others to know he has asked for it. It might be that he doesn't want OW to know he wants it, or has asked for it. You might want to think about what this might be, if there is anything you might have that would be of particular sentimental value that he might want but would want to hide being desirous of. I am just offering a guess on this, and could very easily be wrong on this, but it is an outside possibility.
4. He wants to threaten or bully you because you have pushed his buttons, and he is not happy where he is in his fantasy. After all, this affair is YOUR FAULT. Therefore, his dissatisfaction in his current life is ALSO YOUR FAULT. You got him into this mess, and therefore, it is all your fault. He wants to vent.
5. He wants to talk about something that was not in the letter. Likely a visitation issue, the thing with OW overnights.
In any case, I would not meet with him, if it were me.
If you feel you must meet with him, take a tape recorder and tape the meeting. Meet in public, so you can walk out and leave him sitting there alone if he gets worked up, or if you just do not want to discuss whatever it is any further.
But, again, I would not meet with him. You have an attorney. Let the pros handle him.
Plan. B.
SB SB....don't worry....I won't be meeting with him. My attorney keeps pressing for us to work this out without attorneys though...but if we do it will be via email..... What do you think of my proposed reply to him?
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I can think of a few reasons he would want to meet with you in person and not write it instead.
1. He wants to see you succumb to his wishes, because he is a drama queen and gets a thrill out of having you in front of him and getting the "win". This allows him to report back to OW what you said, how you looked when he won, and his "victory" over you. In other words, he wants to feel strong and this would allow that for him.
2. He wants to meet you because he has something to say to you that he does not want anywhere in writing. It could be good or bad, he just doesn't want it written.
3. He wants something from the house that he is embarrassed about, or he feels is very private somehow, and doesn't want others to know he has asked for it. It might be that he doesn't want OW to know he wants it, or has asked for it. You might want to think about what this might be, if there is anything you might have that would be of particular sentimental value that he might want but would want to hide being desirous of. I am just offering a guess on this, and could very easily be wrong on this, but it is an outside possibility.
4. He wants to threaten or bully you because you have pushed his buttons, and he is not happy where he is in his fantasy. After all, this affair is YOUR FAULT. Therefore, his dissatisfaction in his current life is ALSO YOUR FAULT. You got him into this mess, and therefore, it is all your fault. He wants to vent.
5. He wants to talk about something that was not in the letter. Likely a visitation issue, the thing with OW overnights.
In any case, I would not meet with him, if it were me.
If you feel you must meet with him, take a tape recorder and tape the meeting. Meet in public, so you can walk out and leave him sitting there alone if he gets worked up, or if you just do not want to discuss whatever it is any further.
But, again, I would not meet with him. You have an attorney. Let the pros handle him.
Plan. B.
SB Oh, oh oh....I took a picture of the Picaso poster hanging above my bed and posted it to my FB....my caption says....'Isn't this a beautiful Picaso poster? It has hung above our bed for many years. I just love it.' I crack myself up.
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Good reply - keep it all in a running record. He sends it without the rest hoping that it "goes away".
That's because OW is trying to help him. She is not the brightest crayon in the box. I'm guessing it was not her brains he was attracted to. That's good, because it means she will wear on his nerves.
Sounds like she already is. Too bad for him. He picked her, and he's stuck with her.
You know, it might just be worth a patio set and grill just to know that the picture is forever haunting him.
You could also spit on the grill......................
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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That WOULD be juvenile, of course.
Of course.
I am feeling a bit young today. Maybe right after your picture email, you might feel about 14?
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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[quote:
Oh, oh oh....I took a picture of the Picaso poster hanging above my bed and posted it to my FB....my caption says....'Isn't this a beautiful Picaso poster? It has hung above our bed for many years. I just love it.'
I crack myself up. quote]
oh please, please send him the Picasso print Bordello, by "accident". 5 ugly wh@res will not mind another hanging around.
Last edited by barbiecat; 07/27/10 08:17 PM.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Oh, oh oh....I took a picture of the Picaso poster hanging above my bed and posted it to my FB....my caption says....'Isn't this a beautiful Picaso poster? It has hung above our bed for many years. I just love it.'
I crack myself up. I would add to facebook, Love this picture, I am surprised that it has not starting blushing from what it witnessed in our marital bed. Good luck on your new home you will need it.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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You could also spit on the grill......................
SB SB you just kill me. It is fun to be juvenile. Of course I would enjoy that thought because I am the same woman when her XH moved out to his apartment I bought the stuff that attracts wasps and mosquitoes and poured the liquid on the bushes on his back porch, got this green goo to put in rat traps that I made a trail to the outside of his door. Yes I regret it...NOT... it is that I-talian blood.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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sorry for thread jack!!
CALLING SCHOOLBUS, can you stop by my stitch. Just posted XH viral email. Wanted your insight into the mind of a wayward. Appreciate it.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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