"Fussing" is just another word for "Mother."

tl

it's 6.45am on Thursday 5th August

And if H managed to read his e-mails correctly -
He should be paying back the money
Have a Settlement Plan ready to submit by noon to my Attorney

What do you think the chances are?

I've submitted all my financials & legal Documents to my Attorney already.
With a list of which Assets I've paid for, and my future requirments, reguarding Health Care / Lump sum payout / Life Insurance Policy to cover this in case of his death/ Property & Contents to be signed over to me 100% debt free

Oh boy, he will be flinging a bunch of venom at you...

Glad you're a better record-retainer than I am. I'm always chorking stuff out that I don't realize I'll need years down the pike. I just figure I can't keep EVERYTHING! And how do I know what I'm going to need? Good for you--I think you'll need all the documentation you can lay your hands on. He doesn't sound, at this point, like he's planning to fade quietly into the shadows!

tl

I'm anal about paperwork because of running my own companies.

Also in August 2008 I had a fire in my office block & learnt in a big hurry how important it is to have copies of all important documents 'Off Site'

Take my advise - you never know when you'll need to look something up

stop sending WH and OW e-mails reminding them of what thing's they are suppose to do or what court dates they need to remember. Let them sink or swim from this point.

While still being totally fabulous of course

I agree. Contact of any kind is just going to increase your stress, and he needs to feel the full impact of what he has chosen to do, including sinking without you there to pick up the slack.

I'm guessing that you were the one to keep order to everything during your marriage. This is possibly force of habit, I know. Just worry about yourself and the boys now. Let him figure the rest out on his own. He has made his choice. Let him deal with the consequences.

Yes - I know you are right!
It is force of habit

Now that I have my 'financial' ducks in a row & 10 000 copies of everything! I will now concentrate on my boys & me. Might even put on a kilo or 2!
My size 30 jeans (hip) are falling off!

Ok - Paperwork Finished

My Monthly Expenditure
Contents Asset Value
WH's Investments Summary

A List sent to the Attorney for Settlemet
1.House & Contents (Which I own what's here - 90%) 100% Debt Free
2. Lump Sum Settlement (1/2 of his Investments) - Gross, not after his withdrawal
3. Comprehensive Medical Aid for the boys & me
4. Life Insurance Policy for each of us
5. Change of ownership on my car (which I bought from him)
6. Boys education
7. Monthly Alimony

What have I missed?????

Please check for me

DF...I'm not good at this, but #7 may also be called spousal support, depending on your locale.

I was wondering about dental and vision insurance? Sometimes they are separate policies.

What about home and auto insurance?

Depending on how things work, his name may need to be removed and your policies adjusted so that your premiums come down.

Any accounts or CDs in both your names?

What about funeral arrangements? Now might be a good time to arrange for an irrevocable burial fund for yourself with one of your sons as the responsible party. If you can prove (as morbid as this sounds) that your life expectancy is shorter than normal, it might be something the judge will take into consideration. Ask your lawyer about it - to see if it's an additional thing on top of your life insurance that your husband should be helping with.

Yes, I'm asking for Spousal Support and Maintenance for the Boys
Good Point on House/Property Insurance
No we have always had seperate Finances because of my Companies - I wanted to protect the family if anything went wrong

I have several Life Insurance Policies, which I've changes the beneficiaries to my sons.

Both my boys are going to the Doc tomorrow. WH hasn't made any contact with my youngest for a week & only called the eldest to act as 'go-between'.

I've told them both - DO NOT GET INVOLVED - let me fight for them

OK - just when you thought it couldn't get worse!

I have JUST heard that WH boss broke up with his S 2 weeks ago - the same time as me & WH!

What is going ON???????

Now I really think I've been uplifted by aliens

This is an International Company and 2 out of 3 of the bosses are ..........

I can't believe this is happening

It's sad - it happens a lot. It really is a tragedy.

You are doing great taking care of everything. Try not to involve yourself too much with WH. If you are unable to Plan A, the best thing for you is to disconnect. You don't need to be email or contacting him. All contact should be filtered through your IM.

He and his skank will consume your thoughts if you let them. Don't let them.

You're doing good by your boys. You're doing amazing getting all your ducks in a row. You're awesome. Don't let the two aliens suck you into their world. Focus on you - let them wallow in the muck. Try to not think about them, what they're doing, what they're thinking, how could they?!?!?! etc. That will only damage you.

Oh and on the fussing thing - you go Mamma bear! It's your right as a mother to fuss

Hi V

Nope - not focusing on them - they're not worth my emotional energy.
I'm in Pure Business Mode (well that's right now)
I've got EVERY Document / Spreadsheet / Investment Policy / Cost Calculation - In Triplicate
All ready for my Lawyer.
I have listed everything I (my boys)want out of the Settlement

When his van arrived today to collect his things, it didn't even fill 1/3 of an 8 tonner!
And that included a very large wine collection * I had even packed his school suitcases = everything

I am also being Mom to OW' Spouse & new Ex Spouse as well as my 2 boys
How can I even spare a thought towards 'them'

Oh but I need to tell you - my wicked streak came out -
The very last box I put on the van was an open box with his cycling supplement & a clear plastic box with his false teeth in!

But I did enjoy it -

As you should have! Nice touch. I don't suppose there were any ileostomy supplies, were there, to snuggle cozily next to the teeth?

tl

In 1 of the boxes there were some wafers ( the ones that I hadn't cut in 1/2)

Might have been a bag or 2

I even put in his 1/2 used bar of soap from the shower - can;t say I didn't think of his needs.

Oh & the shirts I had ripped off the top buttons when I was unpacking hus cupboards.
But how nice am I, I sent the buttons in a packet!

I haven't been served my intimidation / harrassment order yet...
But after the van - who knows
Might add Malicious damage to property!

Even so - still keeping a low profile, because I genuinely don't think I'm safe.

one of neighbours is an ex-cop & he's on Full Standby.
I haven't left the house in 2 days - mostly due to the paperwork, But also not to tempt fate

Just spoken to:
My Bank Manager -
He's writing a Letter to the Court:
That I run my finances responsibly

My Neurologist -
Diagnosed with MS in 2007
Sound Mind
Never met WH to discuss implications of MS

Gynae -
That physically all is well on the 'intimate' level

He's sending me all the Drug Screening Reults - which are ALL NEGATIVE

And I DON't HAVE and STD - Thanks Heavens!

Copied the Full Report of Finances & delivered to my Attorney

What have I forgotten - Please everyone check - I need your help

Please, Please

I don't think this is the scenario your husband had in mind. AT ALL! You sound very well-prepared to me. I don't know what your lawyer would advise, and he would be the one to actually listen to, but if I were in your shoes (and just doing what I felt like doing) I would hold the results of that drug test in abeyance (and keep them secret) to see if Mr. DF tried to actually make that accusation in court to the judge--at which time, I would (with a flourish) present the negative drug screen...au contraire,, mon ami, au contraire! It sounds like you're very well set with your evidence, but even if you're missing something it seems like you (a) have all the essentials covered and (b) should have another chance to produce whatever is needed if you've left out some minor detail. This isn't the only hearing, is it? If it is, the legal system where you are is MUCH more efficient than the one we've got in the US.

tl