SC

haha, that's what they keep telling me SC, and I have!

Why Exactly is a wayward's job more important to a BS than fighting for their family?

If I still get one of the random marketing calls I handle it 2 ways

1. I tell them I am on the Do not Call list -- most times they hang right up as they say I am sorry.

2. If they try and continue on I say very sweetly, "right now is not a good time, can you give me your number to call you later? If they start to give me some 800 number I say "No I want your home number, and I will call you there at MY convenience"...

click

ElunaInNC, I am in agreement with you here...there is absolutely NO job that is more important than fighting for the family! My WH lost his job because he was having A's with two...yes two A's at work with his employees.

I am SOOOOO happy he was fired because of them! We lost our ins., used most of our savings, yet it's all worth it to fight for my family & if I knew about the A's before he was exposed by another employee I would have exposed it!

My rant of the day!

It is cruel and unusual punishment to NOT keep the coke machine at work stocked with Regular Coke in the month of July.

My Supervisor solved this problem for us when the drink machine had an increase a few months ago.

She buys our favs on sale and then charges us a quarter per drink. Plus they are kept cold in the fridge in her office.


I have an awesome Supervisor

My meek two cents... sorry for posting outside my own thread, I am in the process of getting the F in front of my WW-initials and I know WSs are not very welcome in other places

Back to the topic on pages 6-7 or sth - Harshness towards WS-s

I think that when a WS finds their way to the MB forums, they (usually?) already realise that they need help to repair their marriage, even though they might still be (and usually are) deep in fog. So this first step alone is a good, favourable step. It does not, of course, define the person but still.

2x4s are good and necessary, but I can tell you that a supportive post once in a while (recognizing the positive steps already done) may be as boosting for the repentance and recovery process. In that sense, I can see why SaddestWife is still fully armed. It is hard to let go of the guards when everyone seems (mind me, SEEMS! not necessarily IS, but seems) hostile. I think that I kept the courage to stay here and gradually let go of my pride because of Stan-Ley's mild and couraging answer to me.

So, I guess that for me a good ratio would be nine 2x4s and one supportive post (of course - not supportive of the A which would bring back to square one but supportive of the steps already made)

But without the 2x4s, the recovery would not be possible.

And SaddestWife, if you read this... I realised that in order to be able to become clean again, you have to dive all the way to the bottom. In a way, it is like being reborn. You have to let go ALL of the 'but's and justifications and 'I am not defined by what I did'. First you have to admit - and also fully realise internally - that for this period, this DID define you. It will not define you in the future, but only on the condition that you admit that it once did. Until that happens, your eyes are still half closed and its really hard to move on.

I am not by far the best person to give any lectures on the matter. But it is just something that I realised myself. I hope the vets will approve

People starting multiple threads for EVERY NEW QUESTION. Stick to ONE thread. There are so many posters on here, I don't want to go back and read TONNES of your other THREADS to figure out what point you are in your plan. What have you already been advised? Did you take advise? Have you done any of the BASIC things in MB? What is your history? Fill out a darn signature line will ya. I have a bad memory sometimes and when you post once every 6 months, how am I supposed to remember you? Do I look like MelodyLane(NOPE!).

Please for the love of all that is holy and good, STICK TO ONE THREAD(unless it is about something OTHER than your sitch, ie my newly betrayed thread).

THANK YOU

I only feel a little better. I know most of the multiple threaders aren't even going to read this because they rarely leave their own thread. Doesn't anyone read anymore? I mean COME ON, this information is out there for FREE. I would pay a membership fee just to be allowed on this site. I don't like to help people who refuse to help themselves. ARGH. Rants done, FOR NOW. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Preach it, sister!

Why do people sign in and post just to the newest topics? Does anyone see a thread they post to all the way thru? It woundn't bug me except they don't read all the in-between info that was given and then 2x4 before they know the whole story, go away, andcome back and don't read again. Rinse and repeat.

Original posters answer the same questions and I am sure get frustrated, but even more frustrating they don't answer the new questions because they are defending themselves on the old ones.


Its easy to give canned answers and some of us are better qualified to do that than others, but if your gonna 2x4, know what your doing and talking about, and be sure to give a solution along with the problem, or at least some empathy.

Before you attack another poster on thier opinion, read back enough to see if they have followed the thread longer than you, and if they have invested time in the thread, that means reading it through from start to finish.

****EDIT****

I agree about the multiple threads. I think people open up new threads because they really just want a new title to their old thread but don't know how to do that. Also, by opening a new thread, sometimes they think they are "closing" the door on an old one. Sadly, it's harder to offer the best advice if you have to piece the story together from ten different threads.

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What's your story taiwantexas3? Just wondering how you decide that some people are "less than bright".

I will share my story when I am ready.

To answer your question, as it pertains to this topic, I will merely point to studies by very experienced people in the fields of domestic abuse and suicide. I am certain that you can perform a Google search to verify the information.

Though I agree with your basic premise taiwan I have a couple of issues with your presentation.

On a forum, such as this - your word carries only the weight you give it.

If you want your words to be taken seriously then you must provide something to support them. Around here, that means we know who you are and what your story is - so we know your perspective and can weigh your advice accordingly.

Also - if you have information or studies to support your words - LINK them; quote them and source them. If you have a position, the burden is upon you to support that position - saying "go google it" is not support.

Now I know it's a rants thread - and we don't have to support ourselves over here - we just rant. But if you're called on something saying "I'll back my words up when I feel like it and go google for yourself" just undermines your message.

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My story is linked in my signature. People here know enough about me to judge for themselves the quality of my opinions and advice.

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