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Re: Going out - girls/guys night out
obr3 #2413445 08/04/10 10:45 AM
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MelodyLane Offline
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Originally Posted by obr3
One thing that seems true (by everyone I've asked) is that her sense of marital boundaries is messed up beyond belief.

Yours are just as bad. You have no boundaries whatsoever.

obr, you are headed for multiple affairs if she doesn't stop. The only way she will stop is you make it a condition that she stop, otherwise the marriage ends. You don't have a marriage right now so you have nothing to lose, except years of heartache from future affairs.

I would go to her with a list of extraordinary precautions and tell her "this is what it will take to keep me in this marriage. Otherwise this is headed for divorce."

Give her an opportunity to step up to the plate. Otherwise, you need to go into Plan B.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
Re: Going out - girls/guys night out
MelodyLane #2413446 08/04/10 10:46 AM
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MelodyLane Offline
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Frankly, at your age and the length into your marriage, I would strongly consider just moving on.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
Re: Going out - girls/guys night out
Bubbles4U #2413447 08/04/10 10:47 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
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SusieQ Offline
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SusieQ
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obr,

Are you going to go back to your thread in SAA? That is the best place for you. Also I believe lake asked you a question on your exposure at your WW's workplace.

Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Re: Going out - girls/guys night out
MelodyLane #2413449 08/04/10 10:50 AM
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SusieQ Offline
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Give her an opportunity to step up to the plate. Otherwise, you need to go into Plan B.
I agree with this ~ I actually recommended Plan B to obr on his other thread. I just think it's a shame that he supported the A by not exposing to the workplace...

Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Re: Going out - girls/guys night out
SusieQ #2413484 08/04/10 12:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 58
Alabama
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obr3
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obr3
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I'm jumping over to my original thread.

Last edited by obr3; 08/04/10 12:45 PM.
BH: 29
WW: 25 with co-worker EA, false recovery, then PA
Status: in recovery
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