I've posted a few times before and I wish I could say me and my H are in recovery, since it's been almost 2 years since D Day. However, I am pretty sure we are still just surviving. A quick recap:
me-32
Him-34
One son-6
DDay for him 10/08
DDay for me 1/08

We have been working on everything since then. But I'm starting to feel like I am coming to the realization that I am the one driving recovery and that my H is along for the ride. My H goes along with everything, but we are still having real problems. Specifically with honesty from him. I am doing my best to "clean up my side of the street". SF and RC are the most important for him. But it's getting harder and harder, as my desire level for him is starting to hover around zero. I keep catching him in lies over and over and am now starting to really not care anymore. I genuinely feel that my love bank is getting ready to shut down and not accept anymore deposits from him. (Too many bounced checks!!)

So, I guess what I am asking, is can anyone give me feedback or ideas before I run out of steam? I have tried everything to get him to be honest with me. Ive tried being understanding, giving him a place to discuss with me and be honest, I've tried getting angry and threats (not good, I know), tried MC, unfortunately I can't afford the Harleys (though I am seriously thinking of trying to find a way). We've read HNHN together, and he says he agrees with it. But I seriously think he just says what he thinks I want to hear. I'm just at a loss. I'm tired of living with my guard up, always peeking around the corner to see if something else comes out.

Thank you for reading this, I needed to get this out....

In order to move on and have a great relationship you need 100% honnesty, without it, you should end your marriage.

txnatheart, I feel your pain, I am going through the same thing with my wife. Although my wife does not agree with marriage builders systems. The one thing that I have learned is that honesty cant be forced. I have tried so many times to tell her that she is wrong and the lies need to stop. That just makes her push away more and lie more. I am for now, doing the emotional needs, doing all the work my self, and hopping she will see the light.

Hang in there and follow your heart.

Thanks Lostat. i don't think he is straying again (though I can only really say that I am about 85% sure of that), so luckily for me, I'm not in the exact same place you are. (I was for a long time, though, so I feel your pain as well). However, I feel like I am stuck in recovery and the next step has to be his. I can't carry "us" any more. He lies to me about so many things. Where he's going, what he wants to do, where he's been, who he's talked to, etc. I can't even really get him to tell me what he wants out of this marriage.

Has anybody experienced being with someone who tells you what you want to hear? And deep down you know that they are not telling what they really feel or want? Should I plan B at this point? I don't know what to do while in this stage....