I've been giving this a lot of thought. A LOT. I think that maybe I should take a break from here. I don't know if it will be for just awhile, or forever. <P>All my threads lately are totally downers, and I know that I've become as addicted to this place as I did to the idea that I could find love outside of my marriage. My life is a daily struggle. My H holds a different standard in regards to his affairs, mistakes, etc., compared to mine. He tells me something that he did, I get upset, and then he says (EVERY SINGLE TIME) that nothing he does or could do will compare to what I did. I cannot win here.<P>I used to come here to find a place of solice and keep me from running to the OM. The OM is not even my problem any more. Honestly. My problem is that I am so desperately unhappy in my marriage. I have been for years. I had an exit affair because I thought it was OVER before I even began (not to make excuses for the affair, I'm not like that). The point is: I don't want to be married like this. My face feels like it's on fire half the time, any happy moments in my life are marred by this scarlet letter on my chest (real or imagined) and I honestly can't take it anymore.<P>It has been suggested to me that I take a break from here because I've gotten truly emeshed with everyone. I truly love everyone here. But I can't be honest with the day to day feelings without dragging everyone who reads this stuff through the mud I've created. I feel like a hypocrite and a failure. <P>This is my life and I have to pay the price for my mistake. To be honest, the mistakes (all kinds in my life) happen daily, even hourly. I'm wearing a sign on me that reads "vulnerable" or something, and seem to find myself in the most awkward situations.<P>I hope that my time away will be beneficial for me. I so wanted to be a success story. <P>Please continue to pray for me. I have never felt so attached to a group of faceless people in my life. You all have been wonderful.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Sheryl,<P>If you must go, I understand. I know that you are having a very difficult time right now.<P>I will continue to pray for you and your marriage. May God give you peace and guide your steps.<P>You will be TRULY missed here. Even though you like you are not helping here, YOU ARE.<P>You are a woman of tremendous strength. <P>Please take care of yourself and if you feel the need, just come back and chat.<P>Wishing you the best.<P>Prayers to you and your family.<P>God Bless,<P>Cheryl

new_beginning -- I know you have been through a tremendous amount of pain. For that I am truly sorry.<P>I understand your needing a break. You need to take care of yourself. We will miss your presence her and I for one will be looking forward to hearing how you are doing. Keep in touch God Bless and keep you Sheryl

new_beginning,<P>Hope you read the posts to your message. I have not posted too many messages over the months I have visited this site, so you probably don't know me.<P>You ask to be prayed for. OK, I just did. But, prayers won't work if you don't stop trying to fix everything yourself and trust God. He has to be #1 in our lives. <P>"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Eph 6:11-12<P>There is so much more I could say, but I don't know if you are still there.<P>------------------<BR>Eph 6:12

Sheryl,<BR>If you need to go, I like ceecee understand. However, like stevetlc said in reference to Eph 6:11-12, you are fighting a very powerful created being: Satan. He wants you to feel that way so that he can destroy your marriage completely. I often feel much like you but I don't post most of those times. I pray earnestly and come hear and find someon here has posted something that raises my spirits. <BR>I am still receiving the cold treatment and getting no love in return. However, I look and see that Jesus got little love in return from us when He died on the cross. He still gives and we should to. I know that it is Him working through me to show His love to my W. I know she doesn't understand right now but she will. I used to worry about her salvation but He assured me that He is going to move on her heart before it is to late for her. I have peace in knowing that He is using me to win her as well as be encouragement for other Christians and other potential Christians.<P>Keep praying continually. He will answer your prayers. I will keep you and your H in my prayer continually also.<P>MONDO HUG!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Sheryl my friend, again maybe this is just what you need. <BR>Take this time and use it to remember who you are. A good person that made a mistake.<BR>It seems that awkward situations happen to everybody , you just happen to be looking at every detail ( and being quite hard on yourself on the process ).<P>I keep telling you that you have to forgive yourself and move forward. that's the only way I can see your marriage getting back on track. Maybe this time out will help with that too.<P>Please do something nice to yourself everyday, not just to H or others. Find something you enjoy and do it. ( I found great peace in writing or painting, but the best of all was banging on the piano, no special music coming out, just pure banging - The guy that came to tune it loved it too ). No, seriously, exercise, take an arts and crafts course, I don't know find something that will help you relax and stop trying to make everything perfect by yourself only.<P>Concentrate on feeling happy and find things that will help you to get your self confidence back ( believe me, this is very important ). Who knows, maybe when you're done trying so hard, that's when good things will start happening. <BR>And if they don't, then you will still have to be proud for trying and doing your best. That's what this is all about: becoming a better person by learning from our mistakes.<P>Sheryl I wll be e-mailing you soon ( if it's o.k. ) but meanwhile please stop being so hard on yourself for what you've done.You are a good person, don't forget that.<BR>I said this already but I'll say it again. None of us - the betrayed - should ever say that it wouldn't happen to us. we don't know, I can talk for myself and say that it could have easily been the other way around. I was feeling something was missing in our marriage too. Who knows what would have happened if someone had started filling my love bank instead of what happened?<BR>Nobody should think him/herself imune to this. Yes we have our values and try to follow them, but so do many of the betrayers, we can imagine that it would never happen to us, but we can never be sure.<P>Take care sheryl, and do something nice for you tonight.<P>Hugs<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

sheryl,<BR>all here understand if you need a break,<BR>i am fairly new here a few weeks and am<BR>addicted as well, it has been my salvation to have you all...my w has posted for the first time under the moniker life and i am so happy she made it here, i want so much for her to start<BR>feeling better whether we make it or not<BR>and i know the support you and the others provide will be valuable to her as it has been for me...thank you for your insight and advice to all ... you<BR>touch so many here ... enjoy your break<BR>and please check in once and a while, there are so many here who care about you...much peace and love trying hard...<BR>

Thank you, and yes, I'm reading, and yes I'll email any and all who want to... it's just that... well... well, what can I say? I think I said it all in my first post. <P>I appreciate all the kind words. <P>I meant it when I said to pray, and I am trying to give it to God, it just feels so futile. I know God works miracles, but I have lost hope in reconciliation, because God can't touch hearts that are closed to Him. I can't speak for my H but I, for one, need God to rush back into my life. I'm tired, and I feel like a big brick has been layed on my soul.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Sher,<P> [image]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/imagekeep in touch,<BR>--andy

Hi NB -<P>What is it with bricks weighing down souls today....part of the full moon or something!!!<P>You do need a break....from the constant concentration and thoughts about all this relationship stress..... So does your H.<P>Please, though, keep this in mind - we speak of God here quite often...GOD HAS FORGIVEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND...it is a fresh and "new beginning" if you choose it!!!! To stay in misery is not what God wants for either of you!!!<P>New ways and memories must be learned and made ......the past is the past and there is nothing that either of you can do to change it!!! Let it go!!!!<P>The happiness you both seek is behind the door that both of you are afraid to open!!!<P>I will keep you both in my prayers that you will find the strength and love to reach for the doorknob together and swing it open to see the sunshine and the meadow beyond it!!!!<P>WE care about you both and are here whenever you need us!!!!<P>HUGS and STRENGTH,<P>Sheba

BIG BIG BIG HUGS BACK AT YA SHEBA <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

HI/BYE Sheryl,<BR> Well, I'm SOOO proud to have known you. Your strenth, love and wisdom is amazing. <BR> If you never come back, (although I know you will to tell us your SUCCESS story at least!!) and I live to be 100, I know I will never forget you. <BR> I see a scarlet letter on your chest. It is VERY obvious!! It's the letter "A" for ANGEL!! The angel that God sends to us when we choose "Plan A" and understand that to choose love is ALWAYS right. (I think John Lennon said that too <BR> Some of us here, we will fail on this earth trying to save our marriages. But, if we choose LOVE over hate we will win the big prize, Heaven. And be able to love ourselves for trying. <BR> I beleive that God puts people in our lives for a reason. He gave us the GREAT gift of knowing you for a reason. It is something I and the rest of us will always thank him for. <BR> If you need us, we're here. FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<P>

Oh, Sheryl, I do understand if you feel you need a break. And I want you to do what's best for you.<P>But I will miss you so very much.<P>Please do whatever you can to take care of yourself. Be strong. And don't forget to believe in yourself. I always have.<P>I do want to thank you for all that you've given to us (me). Your wisdom, support and insight have made more of a difference than you will ever realize.<P>I truly respect the depths of your love, your faith and your courage. And I wish for you all the happiness that you deserve.<P>Take extra good care of yourself, my friend. My prayers are always with you. If you get a chance to e-mail and let me know how you are, please do.<P>Love and Hugs,<P>Lori

hi n.b.,<BR> i hope you come back- your posts hold so much wisdom. God bless you and yours. we'll all be praying for you take care

Sheryl your insightful responses will be sadly missed.I think you have put so much into helping others successfully on this forum that it must have been very draining on you.<P>I'm glad that the OM is no longer a factor for you. That tells me your guilt is connected to how you feel about your marriage. When you feel as strongly about your vows as you obviously do it must be extremely hard to deal with those feelings. I'm happy for you that you will now be able to take time to concentrate on what is best for YOU whereever that may lead you.<P>I expect you to be back someday with renewed vigor and hopefully with a happy tale to tell. Good luck to you and your H.

Sheryl:<BR>I haven't been around as long as you have but I feel I know you a little bit, So I'll just tell you to hang in there, kid. Take a break if you must, but don't be too hard on yourself. None of us, including your H, is without sin. We are all just struggling to make our lives better. You did what you did and it's over. That letter on your chest is only visible to you. I don't see it and no one else does either. <P>Find peace through prayer and the knowledge that God and a lot of other people love you and care for you. <P>God Bless<P>Flip

I'm still reading... don't want anyone to feel that they have replied and I haven't seen it...<P>Thank you all for your well-wishes...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Good Luck to you...keep us posted. You will be missed around here.

I haven't posted much with you or many of the ladies for that matter. I just don't know what to say in regards to helping and encourageing the gals. <P>I understand the need to take a break from here. I have - several times. Sometimes you get so close to so many peoples problems, you lose sight on what is necessary to fix your own. <P>Take care of yourself. I pray you will return with great news of your recovery. <P>God bless, <P>SHA

Hi Sheryl,<P>Good luck and hope that time will help.<P>Keep praying, and thinking positive, you will be a success story.