You will find some very knowledgeable rape and incest survivors on here to help you. Schoolbus is one of the best.

More than that, the MB program can still help you rebuild your M. I even think the infidelity forum is a good place for you to be - even though your W was not unfaithful, there will be a number of parallels for both of you in your R: how to deal with triggers, getting rid of the mental movies, rebuilding intimacy, etc.

Stick around and keep learning every day. You will both get through this.

These types of things will be critical in your R.

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I do not understand this? What, they say you can't sell your home and purchase a new home? That doesn't make any sense, if you can't move out of the city by all means MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE! The house has too many BAD memories, and if this happened to me that would be the first thing on my list to do to recover from all this mess.

Why would you "SHOW" them the videos?? You did not have to do that, that does not make sense either, please you do not have to SHOW people what happened to your wife.

Agree about moving to another house in the same area. When Neak (my daughter, which is why I paid attention) talked about moving being critical to recovery, I wondered if that would be an option because of the legal process...but as long as you're in the area, I don't see how they could tell you that you had to stay in the same house. I mean, it's not like you're under house arrest. Would they really have the authority to force that? If you can swing it financially, though, a different house and different neighbors would be a definite plus, though.

As far as her family goes, family reactions to sex crimes within the family are often weird. It's too bad they aren't supportive to your wife, and this attitude may change as time goes on, but in the meantime, if they aren't helping you need to keep them from doing harm to your wife...and if that means keeping away from them, and them away from you, I think you're the only one strong enough right now to take on that job. Who's got your back? I hope you have someone, or find someone, because I think you're going to need it before this is over.

tl

P.S Don't break anybody else's nose! Glad you got that guy, though. What a cretin!

I got from his previous posts that the videos had been passed around the net prior to discover of the crime....

Where is the BioDad of this boy? If he isn't being tried as an adult, he will soon leave the criminal and juvinile justice system and when he does, they will send him right back to your family....

Sorry you are here and terribly sorry for your W

JMVHO

I assume the advocates for the children are more on the lines of a Guardian Ad Litem. As the police process through this they should offer you and the children victim's advocate services.

If you haven't been offered the contact info yet, have your atty get the number and set up an appt. for you with a counselor through the local victim's advocacy group. It's a free service to victims of crime, as well as their family members.

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How is the housing market where you are? Could you rent out your house for the loan payment, and then rent something somewhere else for you and your family?

tl

Our family has been through the legal wringer with the 3 adopted children of my youngest daughter. They were molested in their biological mother's house. That's where we found out how weirdly bio-families can react to sex crimes within the family. We also went through the severing of the bio-mom and dad's parental rights. One thing you do need to find out an answer for is what happens to your stepson if he's still a juvenile when his legal consequences end. And if the theory is that he would come back to your house, you need to start finding out a way to circumvent THAT! As a mother, I sympathize with the horror your wife feels, on so many levels, and it might break her heart to turn him away--but having him back would be even worse. That's not an issue to wait to find out about until it's "time". By the time it's "time", it may be too late to protect her and your children from the damage his presence in the home would produce.

tl

I am so sorry that you have to deal with those men at work! I actually feel disgusted, can't you get them fired?

I also want to know what will happen to that boy when his sentence is payed, if it was my child I wouldn't be able to even look at him, let a lone come back to live in my house.

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I think what will be the best for you and your marriage is to get out of that neighborhood as fast as you can.

have you guys got rid of EVERYTHING that was your step sons? I would pack it ALL!! and hide it, so nothing is in the home that can remind your wife of her evil son.

I thought I have heard the worst of the worst of adulterer's and then something else comes a long and tops it ALL

Let your wife know that we are here to support her!

I've just reread missmywife's posts sequentially.

I am not sure if all you MB'ers are familiar with the concept of "trolling". It's very common on internet forums, although this is the first time I've seen it on MB boards.
Basically, it's when somebody starts posting for attention. It can be a fake story, a fake persona, or both - and it's intended to get attention. Typically "trolls" either want to stir things up, mess with people on the board, or have a deeper need they are satisfying.
Bizarre, yes. But not at all uncommon.

Missmywife's story smacks of a troll to me. The initial post sounded more like a cuckoldry story on a sex story site (it's a hugely popular fetish much to my disgust), with unnecessary and salacious details. His initial post references "lawyers filing suits" against those who were involved, and only upon other posters' quizzical examination did he change that. Come on. This would be a HUGE police investigation - police would have filed rape charges against everyone involved. He amended his story later to make it sound more believable.

I debated whether or not to post this throughout the past two days on the off chance that it was real. But after reading one of his posts tonight, I had to say something. There is NO WAY any police office in America would make a rape victim watch tapes of their own rape. NO WAY.

"My wife watched each of the videos crying and realizing just how violated she was by her own son."

This, again, sounds like it's out of a cuckolding/incest sex story. Google one if you have the stomach for it, and note the similarities.

Am I the only one thinking this way?