Did this today. Might have to reiterate it a few times but I think she started to get it. She cried and said, "What if I don't WANT Daddy to leave and live with her?"

I HATE WH and POSOW for doing this.

There, now in the words of Major Payne.... "Give it time....give it time..."


It will get better, Specially with people who will help.

NP, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. Don't call him. Doing a poor plan B is worse than no Plan B at all. Please Please PLease. You have already lived through a false recovery. DON'T give WH the satisfaction of winning.

Come on girl. You can't change the past, you can only ensure that YOU change in the present so you CAN change your FUTURE. PLEASE HUN.

If you know we are going to give you a 2x4, then don't do it.

I have thought about calling WH a few times. I then thought about how UPSET all of the people who helped me would be. They would be disappointed in me. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. Now, Pull those curtains closed and go DARK.

Read some threads on here like Mimi's or Queenie's. I have read Not's threads and Neak's, Lil, a lot of what Mel has written, just keep reading and reading and doing other things that are productive for you. Learn a new language. Occupy yourself and take care of yourself.

NP...I DID A POOR PLAN B...I CALLED WH...LOOK WHERE I AM TODAY..NO M RECOVERY..PLEASE DO NOT CALL HIM AGAIN...TRUST ME IT WONT DO ANY GOOD....{{{{{{NP}}}}}

Agree with Scottie. Please do not sabotage your Plan B. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Read Ephesians 6. What are you to do when you have done all that is within your power? And having done all, to stand.

So stand there and let God and time fight this battle for you. You won't win it by running around trying to fix it yourself.

Great job being honest enough to tell us about your attempted break. I hope you let us bolster you enough to not do it again.

Also agree with Still, who was posting while I was so I didn't see it at first.

ITA.. and agree with scotty, if you know we will you for it, don't do it.

Trust us, the depression that follows is worse when you call them. He is not your freind anymore.

Plan B is for your recovery, and your going to God for your needs again. When he is ready to man-up. God will teach him, until then, let God deal with him. I assure you he will do a better job than any human being.

I think it's time to BLOCK his number so you don't try calling him again...it is easy to do

Alright NP...off with the gloves. I know you are an emotional mess right now but what the h@ll are you doing? Do you believe in the MB plans or not? This is the second time you have started a weak-@ss Plan B. Do you think that being a doormat is going to bring him back? Your ONLY shot at him returning is Plan B. And, I'm not going to lie to you...it's a longshot. But, it's your only chance.

You've been here at MB for a long time and you seem to believe in the principles and plans but when it comes to executing in your own sitch you don't do it. Why is that? Your POSWH is disrepecting the h@ll out of you AND YOUR CHILDREN!!! Why would you continue to allow this????? Pick yourself up and start looking out for you and those precious children! You CAN do this!!! When you feel weak come here and post instead! You have alot of great MB'ers here that want to support you along the way. Lean on them and quit floundering and mis-executing the plans or you are as good as done.

Find your inner strength. Your children need you to find it more then ever.

Just do it.

I couldn't have said it better.

We're angry at him on your behalf.

It's time for you to be angry on your own behalf as well, and channel that into keeping him FAR FAR FAR away from you till it's safe to have him back.

Right now it's not. He's banging the OW while her BH walks her dog.

Keep him away.

And while your at it BLOCK HIS EMAIL TOO!!

I know I needed my butt kicked. Mindshare, your post really whipped me into shape mentally.

Weakness over. Time to build my life back for myself and my children. I can take comfort in the fact that no matter what, I will ALWAYS be a better person than POSOW. Stronger, more compassionate, less selfish, and all around a better woman. It is WH's LOSS if he can't see that.

But.....besides kicking her face in, one of my greatest fantasies is still WH coming back to me. This time I'd insist on more than a NC letter, because we all saw how that worked out for the two slimeballs. I'd insist on a face to face meeting with her AND ME to tell her it's over. And then I'd walk away with him and leave her there. And tell her it's better to die alone a "spinster", as she's so afraid to do, than to try to steal something that's not yours and hurt others badly while indulging your selfishness.

Watched stupid sitcoms all night to keep my mind of WH. Ate a lot of ice cream. Feel like going for a long, long run to work out the anger and sadness but have no one ot watch the kids. This bites @$$.

Deleted WH off Facebook friends list. That would just be one more sneak peek into his life, to see his updates and what he's doing. That was a HARD thing to do.

You need to do more than just deleted him off your FB account, you need to BLOCK it, then block his number, and while your at it block his email as well!

At this point I wouldn't hold your breath on your husband coming back, so start focusing on yourself and not what your husband is doing, that won't help you emotionally.

NP, you and your kiddos are in my prayers. I am glad you have neakie poo here as one of your experienced PB guides as well as scotty who is currently in the trenches with you.

NP, that's it hunny. Keep those curtains tight and every time that you think about calling or contacting WH come here. Read something. Kiss your kiddos. ANYTHING BUT CALL OR CONTACT WH.

You are doing well, just keep doing a bit better and you will get there. Then you and I can advise other BSs about the GREATNESS of Plan B. Come join the ranks of DARK PLAN Bers. Come to the dark side.

Did you crack even a little smile? Good(only if you said Yes). You can do this. I am nothing special, I had just been at it a long time before I had found MB and I was feeling lost and confused. MB was MY lighthouse. Now, you need to take care of YOU.

Well, another day. NO SLIPS today. Even when I found the dog poo in the vegetable garden WH so carefully planted and was so proud of. Definitely wanted to tell him that one.

Went to church this morning and prayed HARD. Then in the afternoon, I went to the Zoo with a friend and her husband. She was really supportive and it was a good distraction. Good for venting too.

WH called a little while ago. I let DD answer the phone and say goodnight to him, since she was missing him badly. Didn't talk and when she passed the phone to me, I hung up. I could hear his voice a little through the receive and I so badly wanted to talk, to ask him how he was, if he had found a place to live...all of that.

Just keeping on going.....

I let myself start to miss him. And man, do I miss him!! It was awful, the heart crushing despair and sadness at no longer being with the man I love (and yes, even though I KNOW it's not him anymore, I still miss the man I love more deeply than I thought possible).

THEN, I made myself think about what he's done. The cruelty and selfishness and yes, evil, of his affair. The fact that he brought DD to see POSOW. The way he practically rubbed this little weekend trip of theirs in my face. The disregard for my feelings and the lack of care for his family and children. The fact that he did not care about me ONCE enough to stop being with his wh#re.

And then I got angry. Anger is much easier to handle than pain and depression.

Remember, God wants you to prosper, and he knows you better than you do. His guidance will bring you to a better life where nothing is lacking, NOTHING.

Dwell on that when you think you are alone and things look and feel bleak. Think and know this a growing experience, and that His truth will allways win in the end. Let him fill your heart with hope and know he bottles your tears and counts the hairs on your head.

Follow the guidance of these angels here, they are leading you down the right path. The one to freedom from even the emotions that bind your happiness.

God will give you nothing but the best, he loves us that much. Every marriage that had come through or is healthy knows there are certain rules that you follow, and when you break them it wreaks havoc. Because I am a Christian I can say that those rules come from one that knows the depth of the human soul because he created it. Many who don't believe understand that rules are nessesary still. The rules are made to protect us, and those who hurt others selfishly do not get off scott free.

For them to get healthy and to treat others right they must come to that realization, take accountability, and work to restore relationships. IMO the first place they need to go is God. To me he represents truth and freedom, wisdom and restoration, and removes all fear because we are slaves to it.

He will protect His Children and anyone who hurts them is cursing themselves.

All he asks is that you let him love you, and protect yourself from those that would hurt you and drag you down into thier lust patterns of selfishness.

Stay away from the crazys NP, and at this point WH is one of them. We only live once, when we go what will matter is how we lived that life. What God wants to give us is life more abundant, and in our relationships, of which marriage is HIS institution.

We can choose to forgive and seek to restore, but if we don't let Him reign first in our hearts we have less than what he designed for us. God is in the restoration bussiness, its what he planned all along, he knows our frame. Many of us here know how you feel, we also know why you are hurt and want to reach out to WH. Also understand his foolishness.

But the way to healthy and full life comes from commitment to disciplines beyond what we understand sometimes when emotions play us into temptation to rebel against the simple acceptance that we don't know as much as we think, and we need guidance. We need to look up.

I have been humbled a few times and had to accept the outcome from well intentioned actions that didn't work out even though I felt I sacrificed everything God asked me too, but in the long run it is said, "Obediance, not sacrifice" is required, there was one that was the sacrifice and the perfect one.

All my sacrifices do not change Gods mind, the world works and people are what they are. Obediance to the spiritual law of GOD will change US. But its painful, and most destructive when its our mate. The bible says infidelity is the ONLY reason for divorce. It isn't mandated, but it takes a lot of work to repair your heart from this pain. So we have this provision.

The body is the temple of the spirit, well of course, where else could it exist. We are creatures of habit, we need to be taught and the lessons in life do not come all at once. I say that because at the ripe old age of 52, there are still lessons that God is teaching me, I find I am not to old that he has decided I am not worth the time, or that he has given up on me.

The pain and loss you feel are real, there is no rushing through the process, no quick fix, but in the end there is peace and understanding. The emotions will be bound and healed, and you will feel better as time moves forward.

I know this post is heady with spiritual jargon, and maybe some of it is overkill because you allready know it or sense what wisdom from God I'm plagurizing. I just wanted to express that the guidance from the vets and the belief in the standards they ask you to trust in is IMO a gift from God. Rest in his promises and know he fights for your life and your hearts desire he will give you.

The dark pain will leave, their will be happiness again, and you will be a deeper person for it.

Good, but at least your not smackin him around and you are away from the source of your anger. What kinda life is that right?