I have been having problems in my marriage for awhile now. Here is my issue I am having a debate on? I just found out that my spouse had a whole nother life on the computer. He was meeting women in Yahoo Chat rooms. He admitted to talking to them about his/her sexual needs, exchanging picture and so forth. He also admitted to talking to some of these women on the phone and texting. He says he just spoke to them, that he never met them! But I feel like I have been cheated on and I have so many emotions going thru me right now that I dont know what to do with them! He argues that this is not cheating but I say it is!!! I mean lets get real here, he is talking/chatting/texting to other women about meeting up so they can have sex. How do I not know that they have not already met up and did so? I can't believe he has the nerve to be mad at me and blame me for this!!!

Yes that is a form of cheating, I am sorry to say, he is just making excuses, and trust me when I say that he will STILL CONTINUE his behavior if you don't do anything about it now.

Sorry you are here but you are at the RIGHT spot!

Read this thread...

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2370240#Post2370240

This is called an "emotional affair". An "emotional affair" is the stage of an affair before sexual intercourse is involved. It is not a separate type of affair... merely a precursor to intercourse.

It is infidelity, though not, to split hairs, "adultery".

My wife's affair was an emotional affair. The most it ever led to was a kiss on the cheek and the other man (OM) squeezing her buttocks.

It was still absolutely devastating to my marriage, and I recorded the two of them calmly discussing leaving their respective spouses to raise a combined six children together.

An EA is still an Affair. Period. Recovery is identical.

That said, there's a very good chance at least one of these online romances turned physical. Do not believe your husband's protestations of innocence. The VAST majority of the time, so-called "emotional affairs" are actually physical affairs that the wayward spouse is trying to down-play to avoid consequences.

Your situation is not special or unique, and neither is your husband's behavior. It's absolutely typical.

Please buy a copy of "Surviving An Affair", by Dr. Willard Harley and Jennifer Harley Chalmers. It will outline your roadmap to recovery after your husband's infidelity. Once you've done so -- you can buy it on Kindle for PC or Mac for just $10 from amazon.com, and have it about five minutes from now -- come back here for some information not contained in the book regarding exposing this series of online affairs for what they are, and helping your husband stop his behavior and return as a full partner in the marriage.

Time to grab a keylogger to see what he is saying to these OW(s?). Start a list of people to expose to, and read the thread indicated by sapph.

Sorry to say, but an Emotional Affair (EA) is just as detrimental to a marriage as a Physical Affair (PA). It does not matter the debating side your Wayward Husband (WH) takes, because it will still ruin the marriage. Even a Wayward Spouse (WS) will justify a PA by saying, "It was only sex honey. Im not having an affair." For me there is no debating what an affair is. An affair is when a spouse has sexual relations outside of the marriage. If a relationship is to talk or fantasize about sex with each other then it is a sexual relationship, and is adultery.

Sorry to see you here. Its the club that no one wants to be a part of.

They all react this way. He is trying to bully and frighten you into backing off and leaving him alone so he can continue his cheating in peace. Don't fall for it.