No, not anal - HONEST. That's why you are the betrayed spouse and not the betrayer. You have boundaries. That's a GOOD thing! I am proud of you, too.

My son writes his last exam this morning (Saturday).

We both nearly overslept!

My dogs woke me, I looked at the clock & we had 40 minutes to dress & get to school!

Trying to get out of our gate, I saw my 1 dog limping (he was following the car). So I stopped the car, opened the door to chase him back inside & instead he & MY dog jumped into the car - dusty paws and all.
I said to my son 'We don't have time to sort this out. Put them in the back seat and let's go!'
So we went (fast) to the school with the dogs and dusty seats!

Now I have to wait for the vet to open to take the little one, to see what the damage is - More Bills!

That's just the start of today.

BUT NOW - I'm going to ride my beautiful horses (carefully)
and I have some winderful friends coming round this afternoon

Ok - I now am giving up on 'Bad Luck' and just refering to "IT" as Challenges

My Electric Gate Motor PC Board just gave up working - On a Saturday.
But - I've almost won this challange. I managed to get hold of the man (wonderful person to answer his phone on a Saturday) and he will have a repair team here in 1 1/2 hours!
I'm sure with a hefty bill, but I'm more worried about WH & my & my boys safety!

I just sent an e-mail to my friends - Weekly Uodate No 4

Hi Everyone

Yes, I�m still sending out e-mails, but if you look at the To: list you will see it�s only MY close friends who have stood by me and supported me through this �thing�.

I would have wanted to tell more people what Wh has been up to, but he�s had a Protection Order taken out in ***** Court against me for:
Harassment
Intimidation
Stalking
Mental Abuse
Physical Abuse

I can�t remember the others, but 1 had to do with e-mailing everyone to tell them what he had done:
Something about infringing his privacy

So this e-mail will be about the boys and me

Son 1 and Son 2 have been writing their midyear exams all week. I don�t know how they�ve coped with not only being really ill, but the emotional trauma they are dealing with.
I have had them at several different counselling sessions and they also have amazing friends, so I�m hoping to minimize the damage.
But at their age, they need a role model, and I�m only Mom.
I know a few of our male friends have offered to fill this role � and again � I Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Well yesterday...... I spent 6 hours on the witness stand, for my Protection Order � and I CAN�T TELL ANYONE A THING � I�m still under Oath.

But I suppose I can explain the �mannerisms� of both WH and his Lawyer.

WH sat 1 meter from me � it was hell � with his ankle on his knee, and what looked like (from my perspective) a satisfied smirk on his face.
We even ended up sitting at adjoining tables at �W....y� in the lunch recess � still under Oath

Now, I don�t know about you, but my Court Experience is VERY limited, and certainly being �cross examined� by this �person� � If I say any more I will probably be had up for Defamation of Character � was dreadful. (Just to say he comes from *******)

It was Horrible / Degrading/ Humiliating and in some cases (not from me) a pack of lies.

I was shattered afterwards � Just spent the rest of the evening chatting with Son 2 and listening to him DJ�ing.

I rode this morning � for the 1st time in a very long time � and it�s one of those things � you know you miss it, but until you do it again, you can�t remember why.
It was wonderful, but I now know how much strength I�ve lost. I was broken after 15 minutes per horse. So that�s another thing to put on my �To Do� List � get riding fit again.
I�m supposed to be trying to Qualify for the Para Team in ******* at the end of September!

Son 1 is, as I said, writing midyear at Varsity. He seems OK, but he internalises hurt, so I have to walk the tight rope of not being too much of a Mommy, but making sure he knows I�m right here for him, if he needs me.

Son 2, is a lot more �vocal� � he says what he feels and thinks without hesitation. And... it�s hard to hear him talk about WH � and that..... never mind that�s his feelings and not for me to say.

Oh yes, my e-mail address is still blocked on his company server. I wanted to send him a �Good-bye� letter, and I had to ask a friend to do it for me � not good I know, but how else.
Should I have faxed it to his office?

I found more of his things in the Store on the weekend, so I arranged for ******* to collect it. They came on Thursday morning.
The lady I dealt with in Sales was really helpful and efficient.
Then I had to speak to one of her colleagues on Thursday morning, as the 1st one was busy, to confirm the pick-up.
Then when I called to say Thank you � they were all in a Sales meeting, so I asked a 3rd lady to pass on my Thanks to the other 2.

Well I have no idea what next week will bring � it�s like being in an F5 tornado � you are spinning at high speed, bumping into things, getting cut up and bruised � but I suppose I will land somewhere.
That�s up to the Courts

Well once again, my friends � A Huge THANK YOU
Keep Son 1, Son 2 and myself in your thoughts

Lots of love
DF

This book I'm reading is Amazing

I'll quote - sorry to Mrs Author, but your words need to be shared

"Solitude is the other side of relationships, explains Florence Falk. 'The more you grow into yourself, the more connected you are, the more able you are to be a good friend and lover.' Sometimes women need to tiptoe into the experience, of solitude. We're afraid we're empty inside, which is terrifying. Then we come up against - fear, shame, and guilt - what did I do wrong so this man left me? The solution, after the mourning period is over, is to get into doing things you've never done before."

I love solitude, and I feel it the most when I'm riding my horses.

And do you know 1 of the things I'm enjoying not co-habiting with my WH - I can lie in the bath as long as I want - with no-one calling me/ asking where something is - it's a small but wonderful moment of solitude and comfort

Oh! and the toilet seat is always down & the bowl flushed

Yes, I enjoy that too.

Sorry - being Saturday, I forgot.............

I don't have to watch SPORT all weekend!

I can watch what I want - or read - or sit in wonderful silence!

My Choice

Just to let you all know

My vet DIDN'T charge me!
Cleaning up the wound, injecting, dispensing anti-biotics!

There are REALLY GOOD PEOPLE in this world
And I THANK each and EVERY one of them, for being here for my boys & I

I keep having to 'edit' my posts because my typing sucks - MS Optic Nerve Damage!

hey DF....praying for you and your sons. i wanted to ask you about something off topic....i havent talked to anyone who has ms and is still riding. what exercises do you feel help you the most? it is a wonderfully, somewhat cool morning and i am hoping to go tack up in a bit....its been a week since i rode....i need the peace! lol

Hi Nikko

I always start my day on 2 'vibrating/infra red' machines. They are really small and portable.
I move them around my spasms for maybe an hour

Then I do a floor routine:
lying on my side - lifting top leg straight - 20 reps
lying on my side - lifting top leg at 45deg behind me
repeat other side
lie on my back - knees to my chest and roll legs to one side & head to the other - 20 reps
small cruch sit ups - 20 reps
leg 'sit ups' difficult to explain - 20 reps
standing up - arm down to my knee - sideways - 20 ea side
crossed arms - hips against a table & twist both ways - 20 reps

Then I take a small break

Then I ride, usually 30 mins per horse x 2 horse

Then take a break

Do the floor routine again in the afternoon with a few changes

All in All about 4 1/2 hours a day

My Neuro/ GP/ Physio say thats the only reason I'm still walking - even with a crutch!

Oh sorry

I also have Triple Arthrodesis to both Ankles - 80% fusion
and
Catamenial Epelepsy - hormonal induced!

But the Brains quite good!

The riding I do is Traditional Classic Dressage.

I trained my 1 horse up to medium.
My other 3 are all young & still way down the training.

But it requires a really strong core.

My wonderful horses are soooo tolerant, I'm sure I send them very confusing instruction - by not knowing where my right leg is!

They are just great in pulling me out the ..... smelly stuff

sounds similar to the exercises i do....i also do alot of core strengthening for balance...lol somedays even velcro on my butt wouldnt help.lol last ride i did with friends we went up a mountain trail...its a pretty intense ride....by the time we got back i couldn't feel my right leg below my knee. lol the look on my friends faces when i asked them to hold my horse while i got down was priceless....i then explained it was even more fun when BOTH legs are gone!! they often forget about my "issues" when we ride because it doesn't stop me. i also have a horse that compensates for me and thank god is use to me mounting and dis-mounting in some very unusual ways! lol

I know the feeling.
My 1 horse is 18 1 1/2 hh - so 'landing' when I dismount is fun!
He wasn't supposed to grow that tall, but I couldn't exactly stop it - I bred him & his brother who's medium

I also had to introduce all mine to wheelchairs / ramps etc for the Para Shows - that was fun!

I hate to be a broken record, but you missed one name in your email post. Do you want to go back and edit it out? Sorry about the "one-note" recording I keep playing for you, but I've done a lot of proofreading in my life, and did both that and editing for each of my daughter's books before they went to the publisher. I don't think I can help myself!

tl

Hi tl

I've looked I can't see what I missed!
Can you edit it?
Sorry to ask, but I've no idea what it is
Thanks so much!

It's a proper name, in the paragraph that starts with "Son #2". And no, only you or the mods can edit anything in your posts. Nobody has the ability to go into someone else's posts and change things around. You're doing well. I'm very impressed...especially the 4-1/2 hrs./day fitness regimen. That takes a great deal of self-discipline. As someone DEFINITELY without that much self-discipline, I genuinely admire it when I see it.

tl

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I don't have to listen to WH complain about what I watch or read, or how long I do it for. It's all girls in my house now - very peaceful most of the time. We are so much less messy! (Sorry to the guys out there - I am sure some of you are nice and neat too!)

Thanks tl

Found it - you are a really good proof reader
Edit done

Hey WW

It takes me 30 mins to clean / pack the dishwasher / load the washing.

Actually I have to stop myself tidying up around 'his' chair

I've called one of my furniture manufacturers & told him:" Bring me another chair - I don't care what it looks like. I want to put this 1 on the street"

My eldest has gone back to university - normally he stays to Monday morning - but he says that until I get the house 'cleansed' he really battles to be at home, even though he wants to be with me.
He says that the minute he walks in here, he feels angry and tired.
I've arranged for a cleansing on Tuesday with a very special friend who is a healer.

I think I must feel it as well, as I go from happy to sad to tired to.... every hour or so!

But right now, I need to try to exercise again (3rd attempt toda) to try and get some relief from my back spasm. It feels like a pulled muscle thats bruised and stabbed with stiletto knives !

If I can't do it with exercise I will take a muscle relaxant before I go to bed as when I lie still for a few hours, it makes the spasms worse as well as my whole right leg 'dead'

But....... I'm a Strong Woman........ I will fight ..... whatever comes in my way!

Hey WW

Have you read 'He's History, you're not........."

It's really worth it. I thought my story/life was unique - Sorry girls, it's like the author was living in my house!

It has so much brilliant advise and examples of what to do, in each step

Please accept my apologies (Mods) if I'm not supposed to mention this books title - that's why I didn't complete it or give the authors name.

But it is really a brilliant help

I have not read that one, but I will see if I can find it around here. I think it is fine to recommend books around here. When I first came here, there was a gentleman who posted some similar books and he was willing to ship them to whoever wanted them for free. Some were Dr. Harley's books, but others weren't.

I recently read "When He Leaves: Help & Hope for Hurting Wives". It was very helpful. I know that others here have read that book as well.