I have been divorced for about 2 years now and am dating the most wonderful guy. He has been divorced about a year. We met and feel in love hard, almost at first sight.

My divorce is a clean break, no ties at all with my X.

My new boyfriend has 2 children one of which is with the X-wife. He has to deal with the X wife all the time as related to his child and her other child. I feel very jealous and insecure concerning their relationship.

He constantly tells me that I have nothing to worry about, that it is only about the kids. He says he would never go back to her.

Stats say that most cheaters cheat with the x. Because I have been cheated on before I am always wondering and looking for signs. Am I just paranoid?

Please advise me.

Why are you jealous and insecure? What triggers these feelings? Is your gut trying to tell you something? Is he secretive? Does he act suspicious in some way?

This is soo weird!! I was just talking to my sister about this!

Her and her husband still live with each other (for the kids) and have a friendship, he keeps calling her just to talk, I told her if she wants to find a new relationship or when she get's married that "friendship" HAS to END!! Because it will hurt her marriage to her new husband.

As for your b/f, his X can still have a relationship with her kids and NOT have to talk to your new b/f unless it was an emergency or to pick up or drop off the kids, other things can go through the kids (how old are the kids?). How are they talking to each other? Are they telling each other how there day went with the kids? If so then he needs to realize that is not healthy if he wants to marry someone in the long run. If his kids are old enough the kids can tell you how their day was, not his X.

I think that if you are not comfortable with the way that your bf interracts with his ex, you should really examine why. It is important that he can communicate w/his ex for his children's sake. It is unlikely to change. If you are resentful and jealous now, it will be worse after marriage. It may be a dealbreaker for you. Your gut may be telling you that he is not as good a fit as you would like. He will grow tired of your jealousy and resentment . His kids will pick up on it too. You can't hide stuff like this. It just grows into a bigger mess over time. Dealing with exs and stepkids is a huge dating and remarriage challenge. It can really make you miserable over time. Why you feel this way is not as important as the fact that you DO feel this way. Listen to your gut.

An ex should not be a "confidant"; however, there are times when something about the kids needs discussed. They are both still, after all, co-parents. Some of this communication can be done through email. But it was AFTER my kids' dad and I divorced and AFTER they turned 18 that I had to discuss some extremely important and sensitive issues with him about one of our kids. His wife is extremely insecure to the point of being ridiculous about it, I've always respected boundaries, but I guess if she didn't want to deal with this she should have married someone childless...the kids came first.
Please try not to run him off by being petty/insecure. As the first responder mention, see if there is something from your past that is triggering it. Mark1952 has some very good posts about memories/triggers, read it through a couple of times, it's helped so many of us here. And do pay attention to your own inner instincts, if there is some reason he is making you feel this way, it's best to give attention to red flags right now.

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2243454

Remember the old saying "There's lies, there's dang lies, and there's statistics." When you read an article about a study and the article cites some statitstics, you should read the study as well. A lot of times, there are footnotes and caveats and all kinds of things that explain the limitations of the numbers.

In other words, forget about statistics that say someone will cheat with their ex. Unless your boyfriend has cheated on you, I don't think you have to worry about his ex-wife. Dealing with an ex over children usually reminds one of why we're ex's to begin with.

Also, I'd be curious to see where the "most cheaters cheat with the x" stats come from. I have never seen that, and based on my experience on this site, I think the "ex" as an affair partner is more of an anomaly than a coworker or some other acquaintance.

So true! I love that!