No need to apologize...it gave me a good laugh...and spit take! You only get so many of those in your life

I would love to see him do that trick. Is that another analogy for coming "out of the fog"

Make that 2 coffees with a shot of expresso. This place kills me.

yeah but how many men realize that its just there ego talking and they are making whatever problems worse when they refuse to deal with them. Then that relationship no matter WHERE it goes is majorly screwed up. It can only end in the pit they dug for themselves. Boo-Hoo, misery loves company.

Now he must man-up and appoligize for his DJing his wife and/or her husband or they go deeper and it turns into a negative charged escape affair. In both cases its a screwwed up relationship that will leave them lacking in friendship or trust, even if they come to thier senses.

I think you are right...I like that analogy...

Ok buddy, reach down between your legs...grab your ears.. and pull your head outta your ..

OMGosh stilly, I am

I love the sound of MB laughter...

I agree this is a pretty basic need for men to be the knight and the hero and as you rightly point out, the trick is to make sure you do that with your wife not some other skanky woman.

BK i agree with you whole heartedly.

However a lot of the husbands that i know do both. They help out their wives but they also practically kill themselves to be the first one to open the door for some "hot chick".

The women who play this DiD card know exactly what to do, heck we women who do not play the DiD card can whip it out if necessary and MOST men will fall for it EVERY single time.

This is infuriating to me, it bothers me about both genders.

As you may be able to tell this is a touchy issue with me

Its allways a touchy subject and can definatly be hard to handle. When I had a bussiness my wife would be so infuriated when a women would play the DiD card with me. I also made it a point to laugh at it and talked to her about it, even to the point of rolling my eyes privatly when they pulled it in front of her. Did it feel a little flattering and did I like being able to help? Of course it did, but I also would get angry inside when I found out they just wanted attention and were playing dumb, what an insult to me, and to my wife.

What do you do then when a Did really beleives this is appropiate and really needs help. Ok, they are simpletons in this area, and taught it was the thing to do, and really need help with something. I allways took it with a grain of salt, and talked about how great my wife and family was so they knew what I was about and kept it all business even when it was charity from the church or they started talking about personal stuff.

But what is a guy to do if "some poor thing" really needs help. lol They all do.

Don't have a lot to contribute, but just wanted to throw in a funny story...this was told by a woman on another board I frequent:


A person who REALLY needs help will take it from whoever offers, regardless of gender.

Totally agree!!!!!

I have changed my own flat tire at least twice that i can think of and just a couple of months ago when my daughter wrecked my car (just a little damage and she was fine) she had a flat tire and her and i changed it so she could drive the car home.

If someone really needs help they simply ask for it, they do not use the DiD card unless they ONLY want help from a MAN, as i said we women can spot it a mile away and we are not stupid we know that the men know when a women is doing this as well so why do you pretend you do not know....... (not you CP just men in general)

This is a perfect example, there was a woman who used to come to the baseball games since her son and our son played on the same team. She would flirt terribly with my h, she would say things like "it is so hot out here i am going to have to wring out my underwear" or "man i need a towel for the sweat in my cleavage", she would bend over in front of him, one time she poured a glass of water down his back and said "now there isn't that better", i mean she was pushing it hard for sure.

Now mind you my h would just laugh at her or say something back to her that was funny, it used to bother me alot and i would tell him that she was coming on to him big time and he would always say that she was "just friendly" and "she is married" or something similar.

Well a few years ago i over heard him talking to a friend of his about this woman and he told his friend that "man oh man she would flirt with me BAD" so even though i suspected he knew when it was happening that she was flirting and he was loving the attention, when i heard him say this then i KNEW for sure that he knew the entire time.

So IMHO men do indeed know when the DiD card is being played........

Most of you know, my H attends AA, a LOT.
Daily, if possible.

There has been plenty of DiD's in AA.
I mean, they are soooooooo SAD, and soooooooo MISUNDERSTOOD by their family/friends/spouse/lover/co workers/employer/children/neighbor/pets
(well, maybe not their pets so much )

My H will tell any female wanting to discuss her issues with him outside of meetings ... "Here is Sally's number. Sally can help you. She has over 30 years."

Gawd, I just love that Sally.

When a DiD suddenly needs a RIDE to/from a meeting ... H simply says : "I don't give rides to women without discussing it with my wife first."

And, GM, if you are reading along .... the DiD does NOT get any sort of "I like you very much" or a "I wish I could give you a ride" prior to a refusal to rescue her by giving a lift.

Hey SC!

When I read about your FWH's behavior, it makes me wanna

Is he still like this? Does he STILL allow these advances in front of you, much less when you are not around?

The DiD is one thing, but disrespecting your wife...that's just poppycock!

Lol , Its sounds like so many people act. I am sure you realize she might have thought she were not capable, or is something went wrong, her husband might give her a hard time for letting a woman mess with the car.

One of my experiences with that type of thinking was when I repaired autos out of the back of my truck. I was completely A.S.E.,(for what thats worth, ask any real mechanic) certified + other special certs, had a stellar reputation, and unlike so many mechanics honest to a fault.

They would trust in a shop with shiny toolboxes and believe in stuff like "brakes forever" or whatever ploy they pulled the suckers in with.

FYI the idea was once you had brakes done you would get new pads or shoes at no charge for the life of your car. Well pads cost them like $4 each cuz they bought in bulk so it really didn't cost them that much. What would happen was the other parts of the system would wear out,( naturally), and they would charge thru the nose or at least find SOMETHING to repair that cost you parts and labor every time you came back. I don't want to say they FOUND things that were really not broke, but it happens.

The real issue was you were looking for a deal, and they could get your money in small doses instaed of all at once. Even if doing all the repairs at first was done, many times they found something else every time.

Try to tell somebody that they are wrong about the way things look and are being taken when the price is more than they want to pay, they think your lieing and trying to take them, but they believe in free.


So the lady out there is a product of both what she thinks,(that only men can change a tire), or a society that teaches that. Maybe she was hoping for a date with a guy, lol

Love your sense of humor pep.

Hats off to your H too

OMG Pep, you reminded me of something. My WH stopped one time to give a young girl a ride somewhere. He actually picked her up on the side of the road because it was raining. I was not with him. He came home and told me. He said, "It was raining. She was in a bad area(He is from a small town, there aren't any bad areas in my city ). It was late and I didn't want anything bad to happen to her." I asked, "Where was she going?" He said, "She was going to the bus station to go out to another city to go to a bar with her friends." I looked at him and said, "That girl didn't NEED to go to a bar. She didn't NEED to be out in the rain. Seriously, what were you thinking?"

His excuse? He didn't want to hear in the paper the next day that something had happened to this girl. He would have felt bad. Well, I could see that, it's definitely something that was a MAJOR warning for boundary issues with my WH.