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My wh is going back to ow after 6 week failed recovery. H has a sex addiction and she is the drug. Has was normal until 07/09. Then multtiple pa with callgirls. The last one resulting in a 9 mo ea/pa. Wh leftme 04/10 left her 07/10 to try to worok on the m. I moved to live with mother for support on 07/10. The r was difficult. Tried to be calm, but lots of lb, no transparency, weak nc (he would keep tabs on her online). She still works as cg even when they were together. Now that he is continuing the a, is there hope? Whatu do i do?
M 4 years
Together 15
BS 36
WH 38 ea/pa multiple pa
D 2
dday 04/10
Stopped living together 04/10
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Posts: 1,879
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Posts: 6
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Everyone inmy life knows. Only three people in his life know. Do i expose to his work? Im comfortable w exposure inhis private life but unsure in his work.
M 4 years
Together 15
BS 36
WH 38 ea/pa multiple pa
D 2
dday 04/10
Stopped living together 04/10
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 42
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As was given to me, and yes is the answer but please read these. I wish I had a success story in my sig line but I am working on it and this is what I am using. Sorry to see you and here and for what you have had to endure. But the people here are very nice and very helpful. Just take their advice.....even when you dont want too... Here is an article on what plan a and plan B is http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.htmland you should read the carrot and the stick to plan A as well.. http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1640788&page=1
WW - 33 years old
2 kids 7 and 9
Me 29
Wife Left June 19th 2010
D-Day June 23rd 2010
R Begins - 10/20/10
Praying Until It hurts
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Posts: 1,879
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Everyone inmy life knows. Only three people in his life know. Do i expose to his work? Im comfortable w exposure inhis private life but unsure in his work. YES EXPOSE TO EVERYONE including... his family, friends, co-workers, etc... AND THE OW'S family, friends, and co-worker! Your marriage can survive the exposure, it CAN NOT survive an affair, and exposure is the NUMBER ONE killer on affairs.
Last edited by SapphireReturns; 08/19/10 03:00 PM.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Everyone inmy life knows. Only three people in his life know. Do i expose to his work? Im comfortable w exposure inhis private life but unsure in his work. sunny, I am sorry you are here. I would file for divorce so you have legal protection and then go into an air tight Plan B. He is not safe for you until he makes a decision to change. Do you have the book Surviving an Affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes i have saa.it was my textbook right after d day. I will do a dark plan b. I have to protect myself. I did not want to take the lead for the d. I have taken the lead for much of our m. If he wants out he can do the work. Im ashamed i wasnt strong enough to control my rage when the a ended. I was too hurt and angry. All the techniques went out the window. Its been less than a day and the second time around but the pain is still intense. Since he returned to the OW is it less likely he will return to the M?
M 4 years
Together 15
BS 36
WH 38 ea/pa multiple pa
D 2
dday 04/10
Stopped living together 04/10
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Posts: 6
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What were some reactions of waywards when they exposed professionally?
M 4 years
Together 15
BS 36
WH 38 ea/pa multiple pa
D 2
dday 04/10
Stopped living together 04/10
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Posts: 6
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In the last conversation WH said he came back for D2. When things were easy, less LB, less accountability he was full of declarations of love and future plans. When things became difficult, I asked for NC letter, transparency for email/financials, accountability, he ran straight back to the OW. Who, when he was out of his fog, admitted was not a good person, and only used her for sex. When he was with her, their A came out of the fantasy, and he came back to the M. Is the A different if the WH leaves the M for the second time? Will the fantasy be stronger or weaker because of the problems that surfaced?
M 4 years
Together 15
BS 36
WH 38 ea/pa multiple pa
D 2
dday 04/10
Stopped living together 04/10
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Posts: 6
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Hey vets, should i do a dark plan b or plan a after exposure? Because our last interaction was so bad I don't know what to do. The last conversation was standard wayward speak of we have no future, it is too hard to forgive the A, i don't love you...blah blah.
M 4 years
Together 15
BS 36
WH 38 ea/pa multiple pa
D 2
dday 04/10
Stopped living together 04/10
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
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Expose BIG TIME!! Then go straight to Plan B! Good luck, sorry you are here, but this is the best place for you right now! 
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