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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 23
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 23 |
Okay, She calls me everyday to chat and/or tell me where to pick the kids up. We now have neighbors watching the kids because my wife's affair disturbed our regular sitter so much she can't trust my wife any more. I don't take her calls and try to just text message. When we do speak she is rude to me. I really believe she doesn't care about anyone anymore, especially herself. All the things she said to me the night she moved out(things like not seeing OM, or anyone else, excitement about "us", loving me always) was just a moment of sanity. She was just scared. I can't stand talking with her because she continues to use and abuse me.
I can't give up on us but she is making this so hard.
Me: 32 (BS) Wife: 32(WW)
D-Day 7/23/2010
Married 09/2002 2 kids Daughter 6 & Son 4
Separated trying to do plan B but childcare issues arise 6 days a week
Is there a way to speak with someone who has gone through this by phone? Someone Local?
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879 |
What plan are you in? Cause your not in plan B that's for sure.
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 149
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 149 |
SO I understand your situation, I just had a baby 19 days ago and I moved out and tried to plan B for the past 6 weeks or so. The ONLY reason it has failed so far, and this is being honest, is for the following reasons
1st I was not prepared BEFORE I went into plan B. I did not have a scheduale for the kids drop offs and pick ups (visitations and holidays and what nots)
2nd I was not strong and did not ignore all texts and phone calls letting my IM handle then like I should have.
I today corrected those issues. I sent an email via my IM for visitations, drop offs pick ups, holidays and all. WH has ignored my request to do so, so I did it instead.
I will no longer answer ANY of his calls or texts messages no matter how much of a fit he throws or says its for the kids that is what my IM is for. I did not do this WH did and my job is to protect myself and my kids from his ongoing affair. I have to remember WHY I am in a plan B. Thanks for helping me..
Me-32-FWW/Him-35-CWH
DD/PA-3/10
Expo-6/16/10
PC-7/16/10-9/25/10
Moved out 8/12/10
PLAN B-9/25/10 A light shade of Gray.
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, " I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes" Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I can't give up on us but she is making this so hard. SO, I would strongly recommend going into Plan B. You are currently in Plan "C" [compromise] which is more likely to end up in divorce. Do you know all about Plan B?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 23
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 23 |
I'll be scheduling a call with the Harley's ASAP.
Me: 32 (BS) Wife: 32(WW)
D-Day 7/23/2010
Married 09/2002 2 kids Daughter 6 & Son 4
Separated trying to do plan B but childcare issues arise 6 days a week
Is there a way to speak with someone who has gone through this by phone? Someone Local?
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 23
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 23 |
You all are so right I am reading up on Plan B and I need to fully implement it! I am in a compromise plan, which is of no use. Thanks to all.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
You all are so right I am reading up on Plan B and I need to fully implement it! I am in a compromise plan, which is of no use. Thanks to all. Ask as many questions as you need to in order to understand it, SO. Most importantly, find a good, NEUTRAL intermediary who can remain neutral. Do you have someone in mind? Please share this thread with your IM: Intermediary Training School
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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