I've come to a bit of a revelation about my previous marriage and why my wife took off.

I realized the other day that I've never heard my dad apologize for anything (married a bazillion years). And then I realized that I've been apologizing for everything, even things that are not my fault.

I am not all weepy, but I am the type to take responsibility for things. Unfortunately, apologizing makes you much less manly and attractive.

I am no longer using the word sorry. I've had to stop myself so many times in the past two weeks at work and with my girlfriend.

I even realized when I did apologize to my girlfriend for something that it didn't satisfy her: it made her more upset with me. Women may think they want to hear it, but they will be less attracted to you if you do.

I made a bunch of other mistakes, but mainly I have not been acting like a man. Be cocky, be a jerk, act like you don't care. Bury that insecurity DEEP down inside. That would have saved my marriage. Really wish someone had taught me these things years ago....

Women on the other hand: it's ok. I love when my girlfriend says sorry.

It sounds like you are going from one extreme to the other. The correct spot is in the middle. My husband hardly ever apologizes, and when he does, it is obvious he is not sincere, and only apologized to get me off his back. I am not talking about little things, like leaving the toilet seat up, or forgetting to pick up a loaf of bread at the store. I am talking about angry blowups and oafish behavior that lasted for days.

He has genuinely (I think) apologized for the affair and the emotional abuse that led to our divorce. But after the years of pain, it is too little, too late.

Everyone has the responsibility to offer a sincere apology if they have hurt someone. I hope that you,ll find that happy medium between doormat and a$$ h---. Good luck!

I think it depends on the wife. My ex-wife apologized exactly twice in our marriage. Once for having a girl (huh?) instead of a boy child and once for not trusting that I knew how to operate a white board. (I had made my living as a technical trainer and the white board was a daily tool of the trade!)

So I suspect my apologies were seen as weakness. But that's speculation on my part.

Has she ever apologized for her affair?

Nope, not yet.