Thanks everyone for the support.

Update! Just checked his email and looks like they are still at it email love notes. I came across an email from OWH to my H asking some budgeting question as if they're buddies now.

OMG! What happened to OWH after the proof I sent him? No gonads???
I even fwd/bcc their emails from yesterday to OWH.Then, I saw my H and OWH email exchange.

Did they make me look like a lunatic looking to make trouble for no reason? When I informed OWH about the A, he said that he was warned by his wife to expect to hear from me and create trouble.

OMG! How did this happened???

What do I do now? How can I expose when I they made me the bad guy?

HELP ME PLEASE! /cry /cry /cry

Take your proof and expose to EVERYONE, including their employer. You have up to this point refused to do what is necessary to nip this in the butt. You see what the results are. Now is the time for nuclear exposure.

EXPOSE BIG!!

You know, it may not even be OWH who is writing to you. I wonder if OW is intercepting the emails? Did you try calling him at work??

Anyway, even if it is OWH, you don't need his support to do a nuclear exposure, do you? You have proof!

If you do not expose them,


you allow the affair to go on in secret.


As long as they feel they have secrecy, they will continue.


When they are exposed, they are FORCED to alter where they meet, how they arrange things, how they act in front of others, how they talk to one another in public, watch their emails, watch when/where they call each other.......essentially all contact must be altered in some way.

Additionally, other peple judge them - whether they like it or not. Exposure works in your favor.

Legal question about exposure to work place. Please advise.

I have not been here for a while. He comes home on time and everything but appears cold, distant and irritable. I have access to his cell and have been checking logs. They are still at it.
I was thinking of sending an email addressed to both WS and OW(they work together) and bcc the ceo, and both their bosses. I plan in sending this anonymously. Will they try to trace the email add to find out where it came from? I don't want it to come from me. What is the role of HR in this situation?

Before exposure, I am planning on gathering enough evidence and posting it on youtube for everyone to see.

Any attorneys here on this forum about ramification of libel and scandal? I am worried about this as the OW already informed her husband (before I got to tell him) that I am out to make trouble for her and made me look crazy. So, I will be sending this email anonymously. Should I send a link to youtube?

No, this is not how exposure should be done. Not if you want a chance of repairing your marriage.

If you wanna go Plan FU, file for divorce and move on - you can proceed with this plan.

If you want a chance, write a letter to HR and cc the CEO alerting them to the affair. There is a great template here for that. You do this UNDER YOUR NAME. NOT anonymously.

Then you call all your close friends, and family. Tell them there is an affair and ask for their help and support. Ask them to help persuade your husband to do the right thing.

If you have children, let them know what their father is doing.

Call the OWH. Give him ALL the evidence you have. Let him know you aren't out to make trouble, you are out to stop the affair.

Nothing should be anonymous. No youtube. Exposure is ONLY effective if done, personally and to people that MATTER in your lives.

That is not appropriate at all. It will only be dismissed out of hand and you will have achieved nothing other than irritating the OW and the WS. You don't need to expose to the WS and the OW, they already know about the affair.

A SIGNED letter should go to the Director of Human Resources with a cc to their supervisors and a key vice president telling them about the affair and asking them to do something about it. Your FULL NAME, ADDRESS and contact information should be on the letter so everyone will know it was you.

You can't very well take credit for the exposure if you don't sign your name. And no one will take you seriously if you don't.

You should not do this exposure anonymously. BE LOUD AND PROUD!!

The OW has been allowed to make you look crazy because you have not exposed the affair yourself. This is what happens when you DON'T expose, the infidels are free to spin the story.

And there are no ramifications of libel and slander because the truth is a defense.

Mavic, I would focus on doing a very strategic, comprehesive exposure or you are wasting your time. If you are JUST going to expose at work, an nowhere else, then you might as well give up now. That is like bringing a pea shooter to a gun fight. You will just get your [censored] shot off with no benefit.

If you want to bring an uzi, then you need to listen to us and do this right. Do a COMPREHENSIVE exposure of your parents, his parents, OW's parents, close friends, family, EMPLOYER, OW's facebook friends ALL ON THE SAME DAY.

Doing it comprehensively in the same day affords a tsunami effect and prevents the infidels from pre-empting you and lying.

If you take a day and do this correctly, we can help you with talking points, letters, etc. That is the most likely thing to kill the affair and save your marriage.

Thanks for replying. I am so upset that it in NOT over yet. I told him many times that if he is happy elsewhere then go and let me be. Why stay with me?
Vibrissa - could you pls forward that template to me?

I'm so desperate and losing my mind here. I want to expose the affair w/o losing my chances with him. If I do lose my chances, then maybe I'm better off and he is not worth it. I just want it to end! He told me once that if I contact the OWH again, this will just push him further away. That felt like a threat.....

Mavic, you don't understand that you will lose your chances if you DON'T EXPOSE. Affairs thrive on secrecy so keeping their secret ensures the affair continues. YOU WILL RUIN THE AFFAIR IF YOU EXPOSE IT.

Your husband is trying to scare you into protecting his affair. If you FALL FOR THAT RUSE, you will lose your marriage. Every day that goes by the affair becomes more and more entrenched.

And that is ridiculous that contacting the OWH will "push him further away." An affair is about as far away as you can get. His affair is pushing him away!

MAvic, if you want to make it you need to buck up here and get strategic. You can't allow your H to manipulate your emotions.

Melody,
Ok. I plan on calling OW boss(I know him), H's boss and the CEO.
I will ask to meet with them separately and tell them.

What do you think of this idea?

Mavic, a more effective way would be to send them a certified letter and cc each one of them. We have an actual letter you can use that was developed by a board member who is a corporate attorney. I can post it when I get home this evening.

Did you see what I said about doing these other exposures? In addition I would call the OWH the day you do this and give him all your evidence. You need to open up a can of serious whoopass if you want to kill this affair. A tepid response will not suffice.

Melody, thanks so much! I think I will feel a lot better after the exposure. I sent the proof to the OWH already and no reply, he does not return my calls. He believed his wife about the story of being JUST friends. I see him and my H emailing each other still like their buddies.

Hi Mavic

Sorry to hear you are going through this but please try to take on board what the vets are saying. EXPOSURE can be a powerful affair killer. Your WH and OW are sitting pretty right now and are doing what they like because they are under the impression that their little exiting secret is safe as they have managed to "discredit" your attempt at the first exposure.
There is no half way to doing exposure, you have ENOUGH evidence to support what you are claiming and there are NO DOUBTS your WH and this lady are acting inappropriately.

So best way forward is as follows, TELL EVERYONE, your family, his family, the kids, work, colleagues, friends and everyone you can think of do this in one day, just call/email everyone in one go dont do it over a week or so as once WH gets an idea of what you are doing he will try and discredit you. By doing this you will achieve many things including the support of your friends and family and putting their little fantasy out in the daylight and see if they still like what they are doing.

Dont do half measures because your WH will try and protect his A at all costs as to him its like a drug right now, so write to the boss (if you meet him in person he might try and sweep the A under the carpet as its hassle for his business having to deal with it) send OFFICIAL letter. Dont play games with youtube etc just be blunt and to the points "my husband is having an affair and this is how i know about it" dont add maybe and I think he might be etc as these statements can lessen your claim. YOU HAVE CERTAIN PROOF so there is no need to give him a chance to discredit it.

I can understand the overwhealming feeling you have right now where you rather just end it, but you need to give yourself a chance to recover a marriage before you totally give up on it otherwise you will have regrets and it will be too late to chance things. I have read so many posts on here where a BS has not exposed and gone on to really regret that decision.

HI Brut,

Thanks for the advise. I will call and meet her brother(WH friend and also works in the same company). I hope he meets with me unless the OW/his sister warned him about me again.
Then, I will call her boss( I have a good relationship with him) and ask to meet on the same day. I will send the official letter to the CEO. I have met him once already and he knows who I am. Now, is this a better plan?

I want to get this exposure done and over with. I'm so exhausted emotionally. But, you guys are right about how the affair is thriving in secrecy. I appreciate everyone's support in this forum. I wish I get to meet some of you in person.

/cry

Because he's cake-eating... He has two women meeting his ENs. Why would he give it up while he's being enabled and the A is kept a secret?

I am really relieved to hear you are ready to deliver a serious blow to their fantasy. It's the best shot you have at R your M. You can do this!