Hi

I've been bombarded the last few days with my boys friends and a very special friend of mine staying the weekend.

It's been a great distraction, but tonite I'm All alone! 1st time - so here I am!

I met with my Attorney this afternoon to sign the cancellation of the Protection Order. It also has the recipricating cancellation of WH's
My Attorney is meeting WH's at Court tomorrow morning to submit to the Judge. He also has the credit card (that still doesn't work) to prove to the judge I've not had ANY financial support since he left.
I really hope he can get me some 'interim' money until the settlement & monthly maintenace is agreed.

I had an Estate Agent give me a valuation on the property - Not pretty - with the recession, there is No Way I can sell at the moment ( or for quite a while)

I've been pondering on how to get some working money and have come up with some ideas:
I took some jewellery to sell, so will have to wait for that
I'm selling some ( a lot) of fabric left over from a hotel project I did 18 months ago.
I've asked a friend to do a 'Riding Instructor' advert for me on our local website
I've made contact with the Agent for the Quantum Pendant and he's sending me some stock to sell. They are quite amazing, the 1st 3 days I had the Worst de-tox headache and now I have more energy than 10 x 2 year olds!

I'm also going to try and set up a business with a very good friend of mine to do Graphology ( science of handwriting analysis) for HR & PR companies.

A girl has to have some money!

DF - there you are - was starting to get worried!

HIHI!!! *waves

Ok gonna go read your update now.

((DF))

You are amazing - you just get out there and do what needs doing huh?

Hopefully the financial situation works out and you get some money.

Bummer about the house, though.

I'm glad you're still comin' around and updating us. Think about you and pray for you when I can.

Hi Vibrissa

It's so good to see you on line!
I wish I could give you my e-mail address so we could be in touch, when I'm not on WB!

Any ideas?

if you click on my name and click 'view profile' you can see my profile. I have an email addy there I set up just for MB stuff. Please feel free to email me .

Oh believe me - I'll be here for a LONG Time!

I had the house 'cleansed' again today and it's really feeling like our home again.
It's a bit strange being alone - Youngest is on a Leadership Course, as he is trying for 'Head Boy' next year,
Eldest is at University, as he's writing mid year exams.

So it's me and the dogs - all locked in!

That's awesome - I'll do it now and save It!

Hu Vibrissa

Thanks so much for the e-mail address.
I think I might have bombarded your Inbox!

uh oh....hehehe

Let me know if you receive the e-mails~

Got them - the addy is a special one for MB stuff that forwards to my actually add. I responded from my real addy - so don't be surprised at the different address.

Beautiful boys - they single? I got some available cousins- haha!

Hi DF, how are you doing? Hope things are getting better for you and your sons!

ba

DragonFire - it's been almost a month since you posted. Are you ok?

Hi

Sorry I havn't been on line, but it's been a little insane around here for the past few weeks.

On the divorce side, I had to 'fire' my Attorney and 'hire' a new one in 24 hours!
The Attorney I was using, although he knows the law really well, he wasn't getting anywhere. In fact when I asked him what was happening on the civil suit for Alienation of Affection with the OW, he said ' Well nothing, she's ingnored my letter'
If I had to tell one of Clients that I wouldn't have had any work.

So I then approached a Huge Law Practice, who's Main Partner of Litigation and Family Law is known as a complete Shark. In fact I haven't heard any other Attorney say anything nice about him - Just what I'm looking for.

So since I spoke to him and sent him the file information, which was on Wednesday - they are already preparing the Summons on all 4 Law Suits! They have committed to having them issued by the close of business on Tuesday as both STBX and the OW are flying to the USA ON thursday for a conference. I also told them that I consider the OW to be a Huge Flight Risk, as there's nothing holding her here.
It wouldn't put it past either of them to up and leave the country.

My sons are OK (ish), but my eldest is still not acknowledging anything about the divorce, in fact he asked me not to speak about it. That's quite difficult as there are things happening that they need to know about.
My youngest who still lives at home with me, is doing better, but he has always been a little more open.

But I can tell you there are times when I just feel like giving up on all the legal stuff and walking away. If my kids wouldn't be affected, then I would.

My MS is doing OK. I still have the spasm in my back and neck, but at least I can eat now. so my weight has stabalised at around 110 pounds.

I've started riding again, which is really great. But Oh Boy, my horses were full of it, they really built up a huge amount of excess energy while they had 6 weeks off!

So now I need to know how to move forward.
My friends have been great, my family us hugely supportive, the legal system seems to be moving in the right direction - but what do I DO?

What are you reading, listening to as you recover?

I've read :
He's history, you're not - Surviving Divorce
I can't remember the other title, but it was on the same subject.

It's strange, because at the moment I really don't want to be with anyone and also not to be alone. I just had a friend/collegue here - he's a really great guy. I had 'fun' and a good chat for an hour or so, then started looking for 'a way' to get him to leave, so I could be alone.

I start watching a movie and then get bored.
I try reading novels & read 5 pages without knowing ehat I read
I just wish I could settle down a little

Hi Dragon, thanks for the update. I was starting to get worried. Hang in there!

Just read your update and kudos to you DF for getting a shark as your attny.

One thing I regret about my d, was that I had compassion for my xh. I really did. Despite him being the craziest ws of all, I felt he had lost his mind, that he was not doing things consciously. But he was. 100 percent. And I tried to be somewhat decent on the d front.

My ex ended up screwing me over in the divorce, took advantage of me a bit, lying on some disclosure agreement, and I wish I had further probed into that.

Imho, let the shark deal with with. If she is a flight risk, tell him you want the ow detained. They are the enemy of the family (ws and ow/om). Treat them legally as such.

Be strong for your sons! You are their lighthouse now. You are their stability. Hugs.

I read during my d, the book by Dr. Dobson "Bringing up Boys". It was wonderful. I also read book after book and ketp my mind busy. Read fun novels, and also read inspirational ones too. Keeping ones' sanity during this time is very important.

Thanks Everyone - for your support

You won't believe this, but I wrote this really long reply & update - then my internet went down - and it diappeared into cyberspace. So hopefully this time, it'll actually arrive on the site!

This weekend has really been awful - emotionally. Not about STBX, as I really don't have any feelings left for him. Remember I've had 3 years to slowly turn off the emotional tap, with his complete denial and support for my MS.

I've just felt so isolated and alone - in the war I find myslef in the middle of - one that was not of my making.

For 25 years, I have been the financial & emotional 'Pillar', and then I told my STBX, last year that I would have to give up working. I told him that I would 'finish up' at the end of Feb, which is my Financial Year end. After that he would need to take over all the costs, that I have historically paid. That equates to about 80% of the Family / Home Costs.

How soon he moved on - March to June - and he was gone! (Never having taken on the additional costs)

So, in his mind, I had served my purpose of creating and supported a lifestyle for the family - but, Oh Oops, now it's his turn to come to the party.

Make no mistake, in his current position as MD of an International Removal Company, with Shares and Bonuses, he could have easily managed.
But, 'we had grown apart' - his excuse to our boys - the only thing that had grown apart was his zip.

Since he left us, he has not PAID A CENT, towards 'our' costs, and has ignored or stalled every approach from my (previous)Attorney.

Yes, I moved to a new Attorney in 12 hours.

And not just any Attorney. He is the Senior Partner of one of the biggest Law Firms in my city, of Litigation and Family Law.
I'm told he has 'balls of steel' and his reputation preceeds him.

So if he gets it right, my STBX will be facing the following Summons, by Tueday:
Repay the money he took out of the morgage - that I had paid off

Divorce Settlement - which includes:
Our Property signed over to me - free of debt - bearing in mind that I paid off 87% of it
Medical Aid cover - on my current cover - for life
Life Insurance Policy for all 3 of us - on his life

Monthly Maintenance - which is about $ 2000.00 Higher than he actually earns on his salary, but can be made up from his dividends and bonus

CASE AGAINST OW FOR A 6 FIGURE AMOUNT - FOR Alienation of Affection etc

I have a feeling that the 'love nest' will have to be sold - I'm thinking Camper Van would be a good alternative......
2nd job - but 2 senior executives are going to look funny as .... waiters?

Why, oh why did they think they could get away with this?

For once my MS is actually helping me! There has to be an upside in everything.

But all this doesn't help how completely isolated and alone I've felt for the past 2 days. Like I've taken on the super powers by myself.

One of the many reasons I changed Attorneys was, the previous guys bill was monumental, for acheiving NOTHING.
So, another war, I am now submitting his account and all other information to the Law Society for ajudication.

If only this whole revolting, sorry mess would just disappear.
Just get it done and get it done NOW.
I don't care that I'll only get a Court date in 18 months to 2 years - that's just the formailty - just nail his (& her hide) to the wall and let the boys and I move forward.

We need to get on with OUR future.

Oh, by the way - he's only seen our youngest son ONCE since he left? Really good father, wouldn't you agree

DF, you're right that once there's neither chance of, nor desire for, reconciliation, a ferocious attorney is the very best thing. I'm so glad you got one. It seemed like the first guy started off with enthusiasm, or am I wrong? If I remember correctly though, and he looked good out of the gate, but then wilted, I guess he needed an emergency dose of litigation Viagra. Hope this new guy does a good job for you. To go with his balls of steel, may he have razor-sharp teeth, too!

tl